Have you ever been your own inspiration?...

Have you ever felt totally inspired and idealistic...completely on your own...totally independent of the world around you...

Say...for instance...when the world seems to be sapped of all idealism...so lost is it in rationalizing its own cynicism...

I've felt something like this at two different other times in my life...

Once...when I was in school...high school...college...grad school...doing well in school...searching out wisdom...competing successfully in forensics...working jobs that supported my schooling...and generally chasing dreams...with lots of folks supporting me:):)...

The second time...with someone else...totally in love...chasing idealistic dreams of our own...in school...undergrad...and grad school...but chasing dreams of our own that totally shaped both of our school experiences...that were bigger than school...they were about changing the world:):)...

And now...a third time...but stronger...stronger than I've ever felt it in my life...on my own...living on my own...working a job that has nothing to do with my ultimate aspirations...except as one more opportunity to learn about the great majority of folks...who live without great aspirations in their lives:)...looking for meaningful, purposeful work in a school...doing policy work that I very much hope will change the way people think about the world...about policy...and their government...about their communities...about their lives...

And this third time is especially different...

Because the first two times...I had one thing that wasn't present...that handicaps most folks, I think...and has handicapped me, at times, I must admit...though I think I'm getting over that...

Which is the knowledge that so many people...live such cynical, bankrupt, small-minded lives...and aspire for so little...

In a world...and a life...that has so much to offer...

If only people will extend beyond their immediate grasp...

You what I'm realizing, right now?...

That no matter how great or shitty life seems...

This is the one opportunity that you and I and everyone have...to live big...to do great things...to dream bigger than our current realities afford us...

The difference between this time...and times previous...

Is that I know, now, just how badly life can suck...how low it can sink...how small it can be...through the eyes of folks who only see two feet in front of them...

And I still dare to dream big:):)...

And all those times before...I was supported by all these people...who wanted to believe...in part because I did, I imagine...

And now...with so little support...with so few people rooting for this idea that the world can be safer, more decent, more humane, more thoughtful, wiser...better...

By trusting it and the people in it more...

Rather than bottoming out our every mistrust of those same people and that same world...

I am more idealistic than I was with all their support...

Not less:):):)...

Because goddamn it if I'm gonna let the small visions of the great majority of folks...whether I'm surrounded by people who support me...or not:):)...

Get in the way of my big dreams...

Have a great day, everyone:):)...

Love,
Ben