Tomorrow...I teach...
KCK (Kansas City Kansas) called today:):)...I talked with Eisenhower principal, Dr. Freda Ogburn, today:):)...
I work tomorrow morning:):)...
They have a substitute teacher in there, right now...and I'll learn about what the kids are doing and what her schedule is, right now, until I learn the ropes of the kids' situations, right now:):)...then I'll plan lessons for the Monday after Thanksgiving:):)...and I'll be off:):)...
I'm excited, mostly:):)...I think I want to show the kids Hoop Dreams...just to get a discussion going about dreams and what these kids' dreams are for themselves...
I want them to think about this special ed classroom as a stepping stone toward achieving whatever dreams their hearts desire...and my job being to help them get there...in part, through strengthening their academic skills...but also, in part, by thinking about what they might want to do with their lives...generally, of course...they are in middle school, after all:):)...
And that movie is a great realistic picture of two teens working to achieve their particular dreams -- playing professional basketball -- while dealing with a whole host of realities of the inner city that my kids likely have some experience with or at least know about, generally...and about the relationship between school and those dreams:):)...with a realistic picture of the important role that school plays in even a dream like playing professional basketball:):)...
It's a pretty decent sized pay increase...so I can get my school loans and other debts in order...which has been a major league pain in my ass for the last three years...which I've only had the vaguest hope of getting resolved since I've always made only barely enough money to pay rent and utilities and basic expenses...and certainly no serious luxuries (I haven't led a spartan lifestyle...but I have, generally, only had enough for basic needs)...which is a serious relief to me...I am the guy who voluntarily paid tax on scholarships in school that most people wiggled their way out of in college, I am so committed to paying my fair share...so it's been really awful, I have to tell you, to be treated like I'm in bad faith at every turn that I have not had enough money for debts or bills or necessary expenses...it's the worst part of poverty, really...the callousness of others...far worse than the lack of money, itself...
And now I have a light at the end of that tunnel...finally...after three years of this...
Though there are too many advantages of leaving school and going this route for me to really count...the biggest one being a much better appreciation of how much more decent school folks are than other folks...and what great places they are to work, generally, with all their hassles...
And a far greater sense of perspective on what hassles and problems and issues really should upset me...and which shouldn't...which is a pretty important quality for a special education teacher, in particular -- with all the issues...behaviorally, especially...that we have to deal with -- to have...
And a much better understanding of not only what poverty looks like from a kids' perspective...which is hard enough...but what it looks like from an adults' perspective, as well...which is far tougher, I have to say...
Adults have more freedom to get themselves out of the mess than children, generally...which is helpful...but the experience, itself, was far more difficult as an adult, for me, than it was a kid...and a nice dispelling of the bullshit myth by those who rationalize the sorry state of wealth equity in the world between college poverty and more serious poverty from serious debts that one does not have money to repay...my father lived and has since thrived out of this kind of poverty...and now I know, first-hand, just how difficult it was for him all those years...
I swear to God that if I have one more coversation with someone who tries to pretend like its not a problem, I think I'm gonna be sick to my stomach...
Why we would all rationalize what callous sons-a-bitches we can be rather than face it, I will never know...but this is just one of many places where we need to do that...and where no law will replace or substitute for that very honest, difficult work for people to do...
But I have to say that I'm tougher for this whole experience, in the best ways...meaning...I'm much more sensitive to this situation, for people...I also have an expectation of no excuses for efforts to thrive financially...which much more realism for the process of doing that...in a far from ideal financial and economic system that often does the market such an incredible disservice that noone takes stock of or responsibility for, enough, to realize what unintended consequences our harsher financial policies have on the poor, middle class, and rich, as it inspires all kinds of backlash against the very market that offers the greatest hope for humanity to best support itself, economically...
To function best, our markets need more freedom, not less, to function better...but which gets less freedom the more people backlash against its problems and seek to regulate and tax and control it, too much...rather than support people to make better choices, including choosing to support greater equity within the market, rather than having minimal equity measures imposed on the market and the people who work in it...I have much more I can write about what a more ideal, free and equitable market might look like...voluntary support for equity measures, including better school funding and universal access to the best health care possible...and the development of a much more robust non-profit market as well as creating as much room as possible for a more robust for-profit market...but I'll give everyone a break from that, today:):)...
If you haven't read or listened to Bill Clinton's autobiography, My Life, by the way, I definitely recommend it:):)...Bill and I have plenty of disagreements...he is much more partisn than I am...he's a strong Democrat...I'm neither a Democrat nor a Republican...I admittedly, have spent most of my life in liberal activist and Democratic circles...but the events of the last four years have left me feeling alienated from most liberal and Democratic circles, not really recognizing the values that I believe in being embodied enough in either Democratic or Republican circles...while both parties having values and policy positions that I support...and policy positions that I oppose...
Bill supports gun control, and I don't...he supports, as far as I know, campaign finance regulations, while ignoring them, like most if not all party leaders in both parties, in his leadership capacity with the Democratic party...which I oppose, though supporting all and more of the same purposes supported by its backers...just with the recognition that existing campaign finance regulation has not resolved the fundamental issues around campaign finance issues that can only be resolved, I believe, through a authentic commitment to making ideas the most important element of democratic discussions and elections...and not money...
Bill recently voiced support -- within the last week or so, in a speech I heard him deliver on National Public Radio -- for the kind of government-imposed universal health insurance that his wife, Hillary, worked in behalf of, with advisor Ira Magaziner, when he was President...a move that I both understand...but a purpose which I very strongly believe would is better served by the voluntary efforts by the health care and insurance industries, today, rather than by what I believe would be a very serious mistake to circumvent or to discourage...
Bill also seems much less open to a discussion of all the implications of global warming than I am...though I think his efforts to constructively engage more collaborative efforts on environmental questions, with the help of his very able Interior Secretary, Bruce Babbitt, are some of the finest that the country has ever seen...
Having said all that...I think Bill Clinton was the finest American President of the twentieth century...and his biography is a fascinating look at this incredibly remarkable President and unique opportunity to get to understand a President with this kind of depth...I highly recommend it...
I've got to go...I've got to get a friend to class:)...
Talk with everyone later:):)...
Love,
Ben
