Being appreciative when frustrations run high...

Had an infuriating situation at school, today...

The special education teachers and paraprofessionals are concerned about the number of F's in some general education teachers' classes...

General education teachers feel like they can't pass people who don't meet their expectations for passing...

I'm going to side-step the political/legal maneuvering that seems to come up frequently in these situations...

And focus for a moment on the stuff that matters...

In all my discussions with teachers, I keep emphasizing that we all need to get on the same page...

Grades matter only insofar as they are meaningful indicators of how successful or not students are in their abilities to achieve academically...and...for a student to treat it meaningfully...no matter how much a shit that student is (which students can often be little shits)...they need to have some indication that teachers are committed to their success...and insofar as they are not...there is no reason for a student to take seriously the grade of someone who may or may not be clearly committed to their success...

I'm saying this to a teacher, this afternoon, infuriated with how much teachers keep avoiding the hard conversations with one another...and more infuriated with the million excuses that teachers of all stripes keep giving me...special education teachers wanting to call failure something prettier than failure...and general education teachers just failing to understand that without a clear commitment to a student's success -- and not just a persistent observation of their failure -- there is no reason for a student to take your grades or your classes seriously...

Meaning...no excuses...for students...or for teachers...

And today...I was completely at the end of my rope...listening to special education teachers making excuses for why kids are failing...and with general education teachers for making excuses for why they are not more clearly committed to all students' success...

As I told one teacher, today...I don't speak out of idealism, any more...I speak from results...my 1st and 2nd hour special education math class is one of the most well-behaved and on-task classes I work with...and it's not nairy-fairy idealism that got us there...it was a lot of hard work...and a persistent attitude that we were going to get there no matter what excuses I heard to the contrary...

And I just have so little patience listening to teachers' excuses for why they are not fully committed to student success...and stepping up, when the easy way would be to place the burden elsewhere...

And then...after time to reflect on it...I remember...

The teachers I'm working with are, generally, far more committed to these students' success than often the students are themselves...and though I am definitely fed up with the log-jam between special education teachers and general education teachers in my building, on this one (which will get resolved, I'm confident...I'm on it)...teachers don't do this work because they want kids to fail...

And I need to focus, right now, on recognizing and appreciating -- out loud, whenever possible -- on all the things that they are doing well to support students...and keep them focussed on doing those things and other ideas more and better...

My biggest mistake with grad school, I think...was that when I was watching my teacher lame out...that I just kind of lamed out with him...instead of focussing him on everything he was doing well to support me as a student...and to work, better, on supporting me and all his other students better, as well...

And I just wanted to see if I could do what I ended up doing...which is get some space and time to work on my own independent work...that many of the bureaucratic hurdles that my advisor kept his very low-minded focus on...kept getting in the way of my efforts to do...

But...as I look to finish my endorsement...and my Masters' degrees and Ph.D. if can and if I have to...though there is a part of me that thinks...if you can't see how powerful my ideas are, at this point...then perhaps I need to get into another line of business...

I think...what would it be like...to deal with a similar situation...with everything I know now...

To take responsibility for seriously improving the performance of a graduate school program...in the same way that I am taking on the responsibility of seriously improving the performance of a public middle school from within...as a lowly special education teacher...

A big responsibility to assume as a student, I know...but...my attitude, now, is...no excuses...when the going gets tough...the tough get the fuckin' work done...

And I just don't have time for excuses around that, anymore...when I don't know how to do something...I get my little ass on figuring it the fuck out so that the problem gets resolved...rather than waiting for someone else to deal with it...

I tried in grad school...as best as I could...and then some...I had just made too many mistakes, up till that point, I think, with an advisor who definitely seemed to hold a grudge...and that same teacher could just never straight that being a teacher means that you take responsibility for problems...not persistently lame out and blame them on your students...or on the rain, as the case may be...

But now...as then...I am the teacher...and I don't lame out...when something has to get done...I get it done...and keep getting it done...until it's taken care of...period...no excuses...end of story...

And that is how I've taken this special education math class...a situation with a lot of students who are there because of serious behavior problems...

And turned it into one of the most well-behaved and on-task, actively learning classes that I see during my school day...and one of the better classes I've ever worked with, period...high praise for a special ed class...

And I just don't have any tolerance for excuses on my part or anyone's part, any more...

If I want to break through this impasse between these teachers...

It will not only involve getting everyone on the same page...and talking about the problems openly and honestly...

It will involve reminding myself and other teachers of just how impressive and important their commitment to the school and life success of their students really is...

I have one teacher, in particular, who needs to hear how great her efforts are, tomorrow:)...and hopefully...help her see better...the efforts and improvements of her students as well:):)...

Have a great day, everyone:):)...

Love,
Ben

P.S. I got to get over this sore throat:):)...I've got more than a week till Christmas break...