Maybe it's a liberal thing:):):)...or a rebellion against the new Pope thing?...or maybe just a lot of really disappointed Yankees fans, right now?...

Maybe people are being such assholes because so many of my liberal friends have become convinced again that they've got to fight the Administration...so they are making sure to take their fight to the most logical people they can imagine...

The totally innocent friends in their midst...

I don't know what it is...but something's in the fuckin' water, lately...and I'm tired of getting stomach aches...

I am currently exploring misanthropic hermitude...

Is it the passing of the Pope and the election of a new Pope?...what is up with folks, lately, that so many people are being such assholes, lately...

I seriously considered just coming home and sleeping...and going to work with a "fuck off" attitude for however long it would take for whatever bullshit needs to pass right now...

Because I am SICK AND TIRED of peoples' bullshit, lately...

At work, last night, I got mildly chewed out -- but chewed out nonetheless...even though my bosses denied it lately, I heard the tone in their voices, the first time -- for a minor mistake that was part of a cluster of more serious mistakes on the machine that I work...I'm in charge of the machine...so I take full responsibility for everything that happens on it...but I was in a sticky situation, the other night, when a supervisor took charge of the machine, for awhile, and had me help out somewhere else...some important mistakes got made during that time...and those mistakes as well as my own got an insulator's panties in a twist and got me a mild dressdown when I got to work last night, even though I was already in a pretty sour mood, when I got there...

And I spent the first fourth of the night working like a porn actress on a coke binge, angry as all hell at how the situation got handled...

...and wondering if I might be able to just crawl in a little hole somewhere an avoid people altogether until they all learn to stop being such pricks...

Just for the moment...I've just lost my patience, almost completely, so thoroughly discouraged am I that I've had to eat so much undeserved shit in such a short period of time...

As a general rule (my asshole post, previously posted, being an important exception) I, generally, take responsibility fairly readily...I have a pretty no excuses attitude about life...and I'd say I take responsibility WAY MORE AND MORE READILY THAN THE AVERAGE BEAR...

And I have, temporarily, lost all patience with folks who shovel shit my way because they're too lame to shovel it themselves...

I ruminated and worked my fuckin' tail end off until I was able to vent to a supervisor I trusted who helped me get the situation resolved...

Afterwards, three of my co-workers decided to engage in a spontaneous, informal work slow-down that I had very little choice to pretty much watch happen, as I tried not to look like a total square and as I looked for things to do...

And I kept thinking to myself, "What is the appeal of being such a lameass?"...Why do people think that it is cool or fun or whatever the fuck to be such a lame son-of-a-bitch?...Come to think of it...what is so appealing about being the typical lazy, cry-baby, victim, self-centered, self-righteous, dumbass, foolish, scared little bitches that most people are?...

Is is "breaking the rules?"...is that what makes it so exciting to be such a fuckin' lameass?...

And in the meantime...would lameasses mind letting those of us who care about doing a decent job just do a decent job and just get the fuck out of my way, please?...

I'm not looking for lameasses to permanently stop being lameasses, necessarily (though it wouldn't be a bad idea, mind you)...

I just want lameasses to stop pathetically looking for me to validate your lame fuckin' ass?...

If your going to be a lameass, I say, then learn to stand up and be a man (or a woman) about it and learn to be a fuckin' lameass on your own two fuckin' feet, you worm...

And stop being so intent on roping me into it...

I'm tired of it...it bores me...I like excelling...I feel lame when I'm wasting time when it doesn't serve any fuckin' constructive purpose at all...and you should too...but in case you don't...why don't you learn to sit the fuck down and let those of us who do want to do a good job do our jobs and watch some Jerry Springer or something...

I couldn't believe the fuckin' lameasses at my work -- who don't work a fuckin' millionth as hard as I do -- squealing to my bosses about a whole fuckin' mess of mistakes that we made and spent as much time as my supervisor asked me (and then asked me to go home) to work on them (which I did readily and asked if I might stay later and was told to go home...I was trained as a professional, for goodness sakes, you fuckin' lame motherfuckers)...

And then getting a fuckin' dress down because of mistakes that I was completely open and responsive to take care of...but no matter HOW MUCH I was willing and did so, it was just not enough for my bosses when I first walked through the doors of Amarr, last night...

That's changed...we got things resolved, I think...

But I pretty goddamned pissed, last night...

And I was seriously thinking about a period of misanthropic hermitude (meaning staying away from all people because I just hate them so much and all of their bullshit, right now) for maybe a year or so...

But then my big sup -- Marsha -- listened to me...relayed the message...and my bosses essentially gave up the dress down...or at least said they weren't meaning to dress me down...which explanation didn't match the tone in their voice, earlier in the night, which sounded an awful lot like "Don't be such a fuck-up again, temp boy"...I thought I lost my position on the machine, which is what really hurt -- that I thought I was being taken on the duty that I actually think that, generally, I've excelled at...

I'm just more open and responsive and willing to admit mistakes than almost all, if not all, of the people I trained with and who run the machine with me...

I'm not making excuses...there were plenty of mistakes that were my own...

And make no mistake...if a supervisor tells me that they're taking over, next time, I will VERY NICELY make plain to them that they will do so OVER MY DEAD FUCKING BODY, in the future, unless they promise to take all responsibility for anything that goes wrong on the line in my dysfunctional little warehouse...

And if it hadn't been for Marsha, I was thinking about coming home, hiding my blogs, locking my doors, and staying away from people for about a year until they can all stop being such fuckin' pricks in my presence...

But then Marsha came and listened...and her presence convinced me that maybe the human race is improvable, because last night and all this week it SURE AS HELL has not seemed so...

Maybe it's the new pope that's got everyone acting like such assholes...most people DO act like assholes if they think some ROTWEILER is watching their every fuckin' move (which then just validates, for your average rotweiler, that it's a good goddamned thing that they're a rotweiler, because, "Just think what they'd do if I wasn't gnawing at their ankles and growling at their intestines?"

Who knows...maybe most of them wouldn't be such fuckin' assholes all the fuckin' time...

Or maybe they'd be assholes...and then grow up quicker when the thrill of being a fuckin' lameass wears off?...

Does that thrill wear off?...

Another day will tell:)...

Love,
Ben