A really nice, honest conversation, last night:)...

Last night...

The guys and I had something of a breakthrough with the whole education question...and a lot of stuff, really...

My good friend, Deway, was handing me that stupid, rationalizing, dumbass line of reasoning that people trying to pretend that smart doesn't matter make when they're upset that you're not getting something that they get...

Common sense...not book sense...

Yada, yada, yada...

It's old...it's stale...it's lame...and it's one big excuse for why people who aren't as book smart aren't as good at explaining whatever it is that they are trying to explain...or demonstrate...or whatever...

Deway was trying to explain how to fit a door in a tight space in the nose could be accomplished with the right muscle...which he consistently shows me...and which I acknowledge is something that he consistently does better than me...

But I'm kind of insulted by the common sense angle on this one, really...

Because I always want to respond...

If having common sense means that you have to be stupid...

I think I'll pass, thank you...

But I don't...because I don't like to lord my intelligence over people...even as they are lording their understanding of whatever it may be -- cars, sports, loading tiers...whatever the fuck, really -- over me...

Because...down deep...they know...and I know...that being smart matters...no matter how much you try to talk your way around that one...

So I try to explain to these guys the secret of the relationship between intelligent and not-so-intelligent folks that they may or may not know...

Which is that far too many intelligent people...have just kind of given up, really...facing this ever-present and perennial defense by folks who don't want to acknowledge just how important intelligence, education, and various kinds of smarts are...

And are just kind of snotty about it, really...

And the one thing they always take for granted in their relationship with me...

Is that I don't patronize them...

I neither try to pretend like being smart makes me better...

Nor do I reinforce the pretense that smart doesn't matter...

Which it clearly does...

Unless you have just been in a coma for your entire life...

But the fact is...

That I do the work I do...

The way I do it...

Because I GENUINELY believe...that ALL PEOPLE ARE and CAN BE SMART...

EVERYONE...

EVERYONE...

Even folks with severe cognitive disabilities...like Downs' Syndrome...and Prater Willey's syndrome...

EVERYONE...

We aren't all going to be equal...

Ever...

Ever...

I will, likely, NEVER know as much about auto mechanics as my mechanic friend, Dolly...

And she will likely never know as much about policy as me...

It's just a fact of life...

That doesn't mean that I can't diagnose a car situation right and she can make a mistake...

Or vice versa...

But...

As a general rule...

I'm going to understand policy matters better than Dolly...

And she's going to understand car matters better than me...

And we both have every right to butt in...and to tell each other that each of us is full of shit...when we think they are...

AND...there is an objective reality in both matters...

That our opinions are accountable to...

Whether we like it or not...

And whether we want to admit it or not...

Deway and I had a shortened version of this conversation, last night...

And it was really refreshing, really...

AND...

We had a really honest conversation about the other thing that we've really been having issues about, lately...

Which is that though Deway spends a lot of time calling me a pussy...

The truth is that I am the only motherfucker in that place...who's not afraid of him...

Which is exactly why he and I are so close...

Because Deway smells fear on people...especially white people...

And he knows that he doesn't smell fear on me...

Because I'm not afraid of him...

Because I genuinely like (and love) him...

And he genuinely likes me...

And even with all of our conflicts...

Neither of us would likely hurt one another...

Because we are homeys...for real...

And because I am about the most loyal motherfucker you're ever going to meet in your lifetime...so I'm the last person you want to write off as a friend...because I'm the one motherfucker in your life who you know you can count on who is not EVER going to write you off...EVER...

Which is much of the reason why so many people are so pissed at me in policy conversations, much of the time...

Because though I will call a motherfucker on bullshit behavior on a dime...

I don't sell people out...unless you are seriously dangerous to others...in which case, I will still be by you...even if the police will have to deal with you, too...but I will still be the one motherfucker that you can count on who will be with you...

NO...MATTER...WHAT...PERIOD...

But with that kind of integrity comes a responsibility...

Which is that I have to call you on your bullshit when it arises...because it's the only effective way (when people are being honest about uncomfortable realities, rather than avoiding them because they just have no clue how to deal with their fears about the world) to deal with it...

And it was refreshing as hell to hear Deway acknowledge the one pretty obvious reality...

Which is that no matter how many times he calls me pussy...

I am the one motherfucker who is not afraid of him...

Because I genuinely care about him...

More than about a stupid fuckin' warehouse job...

And that's how I feel about all my friends...

My being smart matters...to me...and to the world...

And your being smart matters, too...to me and to you...

And I am definitely a man of compassion...

But compassion is something that takes courage...

Because it means knowing that you can't puss out...

At just the moment when most people will want to...

And that you have to be responsible, anyway...

Even when it's not popular...

And that's who I am...

And the truth is that I don't give a shit whether you like that or not...

I am not interested in caring for your preferences...

I am interested for caring about you and your deepest needs...

Which includes calling you on your bullshit...

Even when you don't want to hear it...

I hope people will respect me for that...

But I don't lose sleep at night when they don't...

It was one of the most honest conversations that we've had at Amarr, I think...

Me...and Deway...and Sean...and Kevin (the new Kevin)...and Josh...and Brian...and everyone else who was privy to that conversation...

And honest conversations like that one are tough...

But their value is in their honesty...

Which I wish everyone could see, better...is a really fucking refreshing alternative to all of the massive loads of bullshit that characterize too much if not most communication that happens in the world...

Why people would want to live lives with less than that kind of honesty beats the hell out of me...

And why people would want to live lives being less than the best human being they could possibly be...including to live with the kind of courage that compassion and idealism and being smart and living freely and democratically entail I will never know, frankly...

Most people are kind of pussies about the things in life that really count, sometimes, I think...

And...frankly...I just couldn't live with myself if I lived like that...

So I live with as much courage and compassion and decency and intelligence and all kinds of important virtues as I can...

While not giving a shit if people who fake it rather than living it...

Don't like my language...or my car...or my bank account...or whatever...

Because the hard truth is that I just don't respect people who expect less of themselves, honestly...

Because they just don't respect themselves, enough, frankly...and willfully, at that...

And I don't know how you can expect that others will respect you...

If you don't respect yourself...

I've got to try to get some sleep, today...if I can...

But I wanted to write about that, this morning...

Talk with everyone later...

Love,
Ben