Reflections on the end (hopefully) of my life as an average joe:):):)...

Another long, satisfying day at work:):)...

I just read this really beautiful post by a friend of mine about her dad and his lawnmowing business:):)...and felt many of the same feelings of pride she described working for someone I respect:):)...in a business that doesn't get much respect:):)...

It's such a fine line to walk...working average joe jobs:):)...

On the one hand...much respect...that I have...and that I gain for people who do this kind of work for a living:):)...every day:):)...without a lot of respect, as my friend says:):)...

On the other hand...working it every day:):)...

I am constantly reminding myself...as I have at every joe job that I've had out of school:):)...

It's just lawnmowing...it's just garage doors...it's just a gas station...it's just air filtration systems...it's just Medicare customer service (though this one has more purpose, as you can imagine:):)...it's even just group homes for people with disabilities (this one does too...though the problem at CLO was that people took their jobs and their various random opinions about their jobs far too seriously...not that they didn't feel respected enough:):):)...

And...at some level...it's even...just teaching:):)...

Though there is definitely something far more purposeful in that work...than any of the jobs I've had thusfar out of grad school:):):)...

I'm reminded...as I read this friends blog:):)...

That I love my friends...I really do...

And they need some serious humbling, right now:):):)...

That they...and everyone...needs to learn the bottom line on life...

Which is that heart matters...effort matters...responsibility matters...love matters...respect and decency and humanity matter...

But key to all of those...

Is that thinking matters...and that it matters whether you like it or not...

I've thought about our situation almost every day of work since we've had our various discussions about it (we're not really on talking terms, right now)...and Melissa and I have talked about it almost every day since those discussions/arguments took places...

And the bottom line...that they are going to have to come to terms with...whether they like it or not...

Is that thinking matters...even in what often seems like simple, everyday life...

Do you realize how clear that becomes when you work with such a broad swath of folks that either think more or think less on the job?...when you watch people make the same stupid mistakes over and over again because they just don't think about them enough...some of them which I point out, because they're important enough...and many of them, which I don't...because they just don't seem worth the conflict:):):)...

I just committed to judging a debate tournament...at Lawrence High School...here in December...

And I have a friend in Wichita, Brian White, who coaches a really excellent private high school Kapaun Mt. Carmel, who I've been wanting to judge for for some time now...

And thinking about judging debate makes it so clear, too...

I don't know why people get so defensive about this...

I guess because we all want to think we're doing life well enough, I suppose...we want to be accepted for ourselves...and not have to work at it so much...

And that is all definitely true...and worthy...we all definitely need to be accepted for just ourselves...no additional work necessary...

I love my friends...they've just fucked up...and they don't quite understand why, at this point...because they just haven't thought about it, enough...and, largely, because they jumped the gun on something too serious to be trigger-happy with...
which...if they would really think about it...is exactly the basis for a lot of our differences on other issues, as well...

Because...although we all definitely need to be accepted for just who we are...

Life...needs us to think more...

Always...forever...and forever...

All of us...forever...and forever...

There is no end to this one:):)...

That's one of the reasons I love this song I'm listening to...U2's I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For...it captures that spirit well, actually...and its perpetuity:):)...

You know why I feel like a kid, again...just with more maturity, now?...

Because...I've totally come to terms with this one...

That the thing that is common...for all of us...for our entire lives...

Is that we are never done learning...

Ever...

Ever...

Ever...

Ever...

That we will be thinking differently...learning new things...growing and maturing...for the rest of our lives...all of us...till the end of humanity...which I hope is nowhere close or soon...

And we can either open up to that, personally...and open up our cultures...

To more of that...

Or less of that...

And that is the end of the story...

What do all of the strongest, wisest, most decent and humane cultures and individuals all have in common?...

That they are that open...and opening up more all the time...

And what do the weakest, most petty, most vengeful, most hateful, most bitter, most cruel and inhumane cultures and individuals all have in common?...

They when the opportunity to open up and learn comes their way...which is every moment that we are alive...

They curl up with their self-pity...and cowardice...and thoughtlessness...and close themselves off from the world...and all of the pain and happiness...superficiality and depth...higher values and lower values...love and pain...all the stuff of life...that is what makes for the fullest life...

That's why compassion comes from strength...and why weaker people always confuse it with weakness...

Because it involves a level of courage that they do not know...

And are too afraid to venture...

Well...my friends are not those types of people...

When the going gets tough...my friends get going...

When push comes to shove...they take up the challenge...

Because the challenge is where life is at...

And thinking seriously is a challenge...I definitely grant you:):):)...

But it's the challenge that comes with living...

It takes an open heart and an open mind to do it well...especially if you're going to do it really well...personally...I never settle for less than the best...my best, at least...and the best, period, if possible...

My friends are average folks...good folks...with potential to be great folks (they're actually pretty great, as is...but they also have a lot of unfulfilled potential in this respect)...

Much like a lot of the folks that I've worked with for the past three years...a tenure that I hope is up, here, very soon:):):)...

Like those folks...they're family...they feel like home...and I love them tons...

But they also infuriate the fuck out of me...with too much mindlessness...and half-hearted bullshit...much of the time...

The difference with these friends..

Is that though I love all my friends...

These friends I'd die for (I'd die for all of my friends...which means anyone...frankly...but these friends I wouldn't have to think twice about that)...

And they are my friends forever...no doubt about that...

And they are going to have to think about this one...whether they fuckin' like it or not...because I won't accept anything less...

The infuriating thing about my joe jobs out of school...has been too little thought...

Though I've also been anticipating -- accurately, I think -- that I will face that as a teacher, as well...and a university professor, even...and just about any if not every job that I will have and every situation I will be in for the rest of my life...

And I will teach...and study...and engage...every one of those situations (within reason...an awful lot of shit is just not worth the time and effort:):):)...

With the same expectation...

Thoughtfulness matters...

And if you don't take it seriously...

Then I will take it seriously for you...until you do:):):)...

And a warm and sincere thank you to every teacher, thinker, and person in my life who has done for me...along the way:):):)...

Reading Joe Nye's Soft Power, right now...his latest book...amazing stuff...head and shoulders above a lot of folks in his field:):)...

And I still already see problems with his concepts...most importantly...that he doesn't distinguish, well enough, between force -- meaning the ability to compel people to do your bidding -- and power -- meaning...by Joe's definition...and a definition I think is a good one...the ability to obtain desired outcomes -- which not only are not the same thing...which Joe blurs, too much, in his descriptions of hard power, I believe...but which are often at odds...very often...far too often for someone as smart as Joe not to discuss it nearly enough...

Meaning...force -- the ability to compel people to do your bidding -- often interferes...and too often is counterproductive...to power -- the ability to to obtain desired outcomes...

Joe's conceptions of hard power and soft power, in my view...after reading much of his very large body of work over the years...

Is just a little fuzzy...intellectually...to my mind...

And his failure to make this clearer distinction...between force and power...is the source of a lot of his problems, I believe:):)...

But I have to say...the brilliance of his work...is breathtaking...it's like studying with a master...it is studying with a master:):):)...his is remarkably thoughtful work...

But I wholly agree with this very wise and brilliant passage from his first chapter in that book...that is wholly applicable to a whole slew of differences that my friends and I have about the nature of power...

As Joe puts it quite nicely...

"Most practical politicians and ordinary people often find these questions of behavior and motivation too complicated. Thus they turn to a second definition of power and simply define it as the possession of capabilities or resources that can influence outcomes. Consequently they consider a country powerful if it has a relatively large population and territory, extensive natural resources, economic strength, military force, and social stability. The virtue of this second definition is that it makes power appear more concrete, measurable, and predictable. But this definition also has problems. When people define power as synonymous with the resources that produce it, they sometimes encounter the paradox that those best endowed with power do not always get what they want." - Joe Nye, Soft Power, (Public Affairs, NY, 2004), p.3

And that is the heart of the matter:):):)...

Have a great night everyone:):):)...

Talk with you soon:):):)...

Love,
Ben