Before we were cynical...or why thought and idealism and freedom matter...

I judged my first debate tournament, yesterday, in almost 10 years:):)...

It was a great experience:)...the kids ranged from brilliant to average...but all, generally, much smarter cookies than you're average bear...

My friend, Dave Stevens, invited me out there...and I'm so glad he did...Dave and I used to compete in high school in Wichita and randomly met each other again at the David Rees presentation at the Spencer Art Museum here in town...it was great to catch up with David...we knew each other in high school...but more from a distance, from my perspective...and it was great catching up with a smart, decent guy like David and recalling old debate and forensics memories...and old D.C memories, too, as it turns out, since David and I were in D.C. at around the same time back in the late nineties...Dave worked for President Clinton and the Office of Science and Technology (I think that's right)...and I lived out there for a summer in 1998 with Brandi and worked in three temporary jobs...two non-profit...environmental construction and B'nai Brith, the longest standing Jewish organization in the U.S. with Brandi...and a for-profit...a private publishing firm, where I got to see just how much even wealthier private-sector folks often hated their jobs and their lives, too much, unfortunately...not that it has to be that way, I don't think...but, for whatever reasons, it was for these guys...

Dave and I and another successful debater in high school judged a quarter-final round that was much better than the semi-final or final rounds that I watched...two really brilliant teams...with three judges that gave them total leeway to have as smart and as strong a round as possible...and they totally delivered...it was a really tough decision...I ended up splitting -- meaning I was the lone judge on a 2-1 decision -- but it was a tough decision, all-around, I think we would all agree...and the truth was that of the teams I saw that tournament (and I saw far from all of them) the two teams in that quarterfinal round were the two best teams at the tournament...

The girl from the girl-guy team from Olathe Northwest that ended up advancing over my vote to the semi-final round was really visibly disappointed after losing that semi's round to a team that I must admit, after watching them in finals, did not seem as strong as them (though I didn't watch the semi's round, so I can't say, for sure)...

And it just reminded me of all of the million times in my high school days, in debate and forensics, in college, and especially in my adult life when something else beats out smart, which is this kind of bullshit fact of life that so many smart kids have to deal with even though they know it's bullshit...while everyone else blithely moves along acting like it doesn't matter when it clearly does because it makes them feel too bad about themselves to admit it to themselves and everyone else...the irony being that truly smart people are some of the most humble and decent people I know...and that the arrogance of less intelligent and mature people who just want what they want, whether they've earned it or not, just overwhelms the potential for a more honest and decent world...

I felt so bad for this girl...I totally identify...and most people who don't think of themselves as smart just don't understand it as well, I don't think...how insulting it is to have people who have clearly not worked as hard or thought as hard or whatever pretending that their ignorance is somehow equal to this girl's intelligence...it just makes you kind of puke, sometimes...and I totally felt for this girl and totally remember what that feeling has felt like a million times in my own life...

I've got a million friends who act like this...and it just makes me want to puke just about every time I listen to them spew their way-too-confident random bullshit that is so totally disconnected from something intelligent that you wonder why they might think that it is or would be thought of as meaningful at all by anyone else...a million prejudices...and hateful feelings...and fears...and all kinds of stupidity...that so many folks just pretend that they are prettier or smarter thoughts than they really are...it's pretty disgusting...

"Why do people oppose immigration or believe in English First, much of the time?" David and I asked together on the way to Taco Johns...

Generally...because they don't like dem foreigners...and they don't like the competition from anyone...but especially from them Mexicans...

It's all pretty fucked up, really...and it happens all the time in a million places...

We do seem to move forward, on balance...but there is a lot of slipping backwards and half-hearted forward efforts and all kinds of bullshit that people throw in our way along that path that generally has to do with rationalizing what mean, nasty, hateful, small-minded, ignorant, scared little bitches they are...

And it's just kind of this sad tragedy of life that decent people have to put up with and often be punished by this kind of bullshit nastiness, much of the time...decent people have been putting up with this bullshit since the dawn of humanity...and they'll be dealing with it for as long as I live, I would bet, as well (though I would certainly like to see the world be better than that by the time I finish my time on this little planet)...

And this young debater was just getting a very early sad taste of this fact of life for people who care more about doing the right thing -- in this case, debating intelligently -- than doing what will win rounds or get the rewards -- namely, focussing on polish over intelligence...though, as I told her after the round, I do think there are ways to do both of these things...but I can't honestly tell her that I can predict with any kind of reliability how judges are going to vote...and even good and great judges make mistakes...so I just hope she can take heart that focussing on the right things is good even when you're not being rewarded for it...

It was great, though, spending a tournament with such smart, dedicated, responsible kids as these debaters...a healthy antidote to seeing so many of their less bright, less dedicated, less responsible adult counter-parts in the real world...who often blithely blow off such values and responsibilities, so wrapped are so many of them in their own egos...

The best adults and young people at least acknowledge more honestly, when they've blown off these values...and humble themselves in their presence...and the worst adults and young people blow them off altogether, so much more important are their egos to doing good or than younger people doing better than they have done...a thought that helps me understand my relationship with my advisor in graduate school much better, when I think about it...teachers, I'm learning, to my great dismay, blow off important educational values as much as adults and young people in non-school settings...and as with other adults, the bigger problem is not that they blow these values off...it's that they keep doing it without humbling themselves in the presence of stronger values...

And it was nice, after spending so much time in the last 3 or 4 or 5 years with so many adults who so arrogantly blow off education and intelligence and thinking like it doesn't mean anything...

To spend some time with some kids and coaches and fellow judges who take it seriously...and who appreciate it...and really enjoy it and explore with it and share the recognition of its terribly important role in our lives...more independent of ego...

I've had to swim in the bullshit for the last three or four years far more than my stomach has been able to handle...and it's nice to be spending more time, these days, in a workplace that takes these values more seriously...and with folks at places like debate tournaments, where the bullshit is more minimal...and meaningful and thoughtful engagement on important issues are valued and encouraged and participated in more...

These kinds of people are the ones, more than anyone else, who lead all of us down more reasonable and thoughtful paths...to make smarter and better decisions, as a consequence...

And the last 5 years or so, at least, have been one long rationalization for why we all -- and especially the majority of us who do not identify as particularly intelligent -- why we take such people for granted so much...and why we make such stupid decisions, as a consequence...

And it was nice to spend the day and the evening before...

With people who take thinking seriously...

And are good at it...

And who don't give a shit if other people can't appreciate what effort and conviction and idealism and thoughtfulness and imagination and playfulness and creativity...go into being that smart...and making such powerful and strong arguments...to help them and me and all of us...understand the world better than we would without them...

Hanging out with these high school debaters did reinforce something really important for me, though, I have to say...

Human nature = bad?...no...

Human nature = freedom...

If you doubt that...spend about half an hour with teenagers...while you're not trying to boss them around...

Thanks to coach Jeff Plinksy and the rest of the Lawrence Speech and Debate team for letting me judge...and for hosting such a great opportunity for young people...and thanks to the really pretty impressive debaters at that tournament for letting us all marvel at your really incredible skills...these kids are going to kick my ass and the rest of their adult counterparts' asses, very soon, at some point...and thank God that they will...we need them to...no matter how many lay judges they encounter:):):)...

Have a great day, everyone:):):)...

Love,
Ben