I'm gonna miss these bastards...

I've been putting off applying for teaching jobs...I know it's late...though, in special ed, they're always available...I'm sure something will work out...

But I've been realizing, this morning, that...in addition to being exhausted from work...

I'm gonna miss these bastards...

I never, ever in a million years could have predicted how working in a shipping dock would prepare me for the world...for teaching...for my own life...

It's not something school taught me, that's for sure...

It's just...being one of the guys...

I stick out like a sore thumb in most conversations, any more...

And it's nice to have a crew of guys that I just belong to...just as me...no qualifications needed...

And it's been interesting looking at the world...not as a teacher...or as a good student...

But just as a guy...just one of the guys...

It's nice...

And I realize...that this is how I'm going to teach...

The one really important thing that working in a shipping dock has taught me...

Is that EVERYONE HATES BEING BOSSED AROUND...EVERYONE...

And if you work with someone who leads...and they treat you decent...and they're just one of the guys...or whatever...

Then you're much more likely to pay attention to them...and to respect them...and to try to do your best...which, if given the right space, can be far better than that leader ever imagined themselves...

Today...at a meeting...I was noticing how too many of the guys weren't really paying attention...and being respectful of our supervisor...and how our supervisor was both insecure about that...and had kind of earned it, unknowingly...

And I realized that though I like our supervisor and our department lead and all of our leads an awful lot, really...

That I don't want to be that guy ever again...

I've been that guy before...

The teacher or the lead that everyone thinks is a jerk-off...because their insecurities about themselves lead them to try to constantly prove why they deserve everyone's attention...rather than just earning peoples' respect and attention because they deserve it...

And I just don't want to be that guy, any more...ever again...

Even though, in this case, that guy was/is a guy that I like and respect very much, really...

I've learned and feel in my bones, now, that I can best earn peoples' respect by being me...and learning from people...and expecting them to treat me decent...while cutting everyone plenty of slack...and giving everyone as much space as possible and as they need to be them...

And a shipping dock is an ideal place to practice this...because it's a place where you can just let it all hang out, for the most part:):):)...and it's been a luxury that I don't know what other workplaces I'll ever be able to feel that ever again:):):)...

I'm thinking that I might work the docks during the summers, if they might let me...just because I like it...which is ironic:):)...since so many people talk all the time about how they hate this job:):):)...and I really like it, really:):):)...even though it's totally not the "noble" work of teaching or policy...

In a lot of ways...that's why I like it...because when I fuck something up in this job...people don't all lose their heads that it's the end of the world...

The truth is that fuck-ups in teaching and policy are not the end of the world, either...in fact...they are two areas...policy, now...not politics, necessarily...not yet...though, hopefully this way more in the future...where people can fuck up regularly and have the stakes be high...and to more than anywhere else, I think, have a new day to start everything all over again...

But in my professional work...people always act like fuck-ups are the end of the world:)...too much, that is:)...

But the truth, I think...is that more of the world needs to have some perspective about life...and think about the things that matter in life like they are garage doors...

Garage doors matter...they keep our stuff in our garages...warm...and safe from the elements...and from those who might want to take them...

But, in the end, they're just garage doors...and the less crazy we get about them...the better job we can do with just chilling out and taking care of them to make sure they get made, and prepared, and shipped to their destinations with everything intact:):)...

And similarly:):)...

If people in schools and political and other important institutions...if they recognized that what they do matters...

But...that...in the end...no matter what mistakes get made...

We all still have to wake up the next day and do better that day...

And that while life matters...in the end...it's just life...so you might as well enjoy it, even as we get excited about the things that matter:):):)...

Then...maybe...we could all just chill out a little bit...and see better how to do a better job of things...instead of just being upset about even the big stuff...and missing opportunities to make things better...because we get so lost in looking like we're doing something constructive...rather than just focussing, calmly and patiently, on doing good...on taking constructive steps...and being creative about how we approach issues...to better guarantee...that the doors get out on time and in tact, so to speak:):)...

And learning to stick by one another, in the meantime:):)...

That's my dream, at least:):)...

I think we'll get closer by the end of my lifetime:):)...

But I'm fine with the ride, in the meantime:):)...because I like hanging out with all the people that I get to meet in my life:):):)...strengths and limitations:):)...

And I learned a lot of that working in a shipping dock...

I'm gonna miss these bastards:)...

Ben