My life really fuckin' sucks right now

Can I just say that my life really fuckin' sucks, right now?

The problem is that I don't trust anyone else, either. It's everyone dick for himself, these days. And I'm learning that as much as I'm frustrated with myself, these days, there is noone else I can trust but myself.

The one good thing I have going for me, right now, I think, is that I am as determined as hell to beat the shit out of any competitor I come across anymore. I am tired of getting shit on. I am determined to win at all costs, at this point. And I have no loyalty to anyone anymore.

I do wonder who I am becoming, these days. I also know that I don't trust anyone anymore. This life of pressure and leverage and force is every man for himself. And in a world like that, I only want to come out on top. If people become willing to face up to that legacy, then perhaps I will give up my more aggressive stance. Until they do, my new resolution is that if the world is one of survival of the fittest and who has the most leverage and power, then I will do everything in my power to outleverage every son-of-a-bitch I encounter.

Aren't you proud of the progressive world we have created? Hooray for progress, huh? It's just kind of overwhelming how much better it has made everything, isn't it? Economic slowdown. Mild stagflation, says the Economist. No resolution in sight for a reasonable, thoughtful Iraq policy. Not to mention an education policy that is full of good intentions and unintended consequences.

But the liberals and conservatives I read and talk with don't seem to be, generally, open to rethinking this road.

So I guess I'm thinking it is time to get into a position to strongarm others rather than be strongarmed all of the time. I don't want to ever lose a political or otherwise arm-wrestling match ever again. And if I do, I want to make the lives of the people who beat me to be the most miserable fucking existences they ever could have imagined in their worst nightmares.

I guess this is how power corrupts, huh? I guess that's how politics gets so cynical, huh?

Well if giving into the cynicism is the price of not getting fucked again, I'm diving right the fuck in and I'm not coming out until I have the strongest arm around.

This is what progress looks like. Congratulations to the progressives of all stripes, liberal and conservative, who made this happen.

Love,
Ben