"Most mistakes with our children, with our spouses, with all family members are not the result of bad intent. It's just that we really don't understand. We don't see clearly enough into one another's hearts.
If we did - if an entire family could develop the kind of openness we're talking about - over 90% of the difficulties and problems could be solved."
- Stephen Covey, speaking of humankind, not just the humankind we are related to
It's so refreshing and beautiful to have someone write about politics like people really matter to them.
A Christmas wish
"My sister’s rental place was littered with signs of a more complicated truth than the one obscured by the easy headline. She had 24-hour Alcoholics Anonymous coins lying all over her house, on tables and in dishes. These coins are given out at meetings to mark a day of sobriety, and she attended meetings all the time. She had weights in the living room for her workouts. She always wanted to stay in shape. Religious, spiritual, and poetry books were scattered about with freshly underlined passages on faith, hope, and love. The food in the refrigerator was still fresh, and notes were posted on the door to remind her of the things she needed to do, amid pictures her kids had drawn for her. The movie The Bucket List was near her DVD player. She had either just watched it or was about to. It’s a wonderful film about preparing for death and enjoying life in the meantime.
And, of course, the Christmas list in her pocket. A piece of paper that reflected her love of her kids and the hope and joy that comes with giving.
No, President Obama isn’t a socialist. He isn’t trying to ruin the country, and he doesn’t hate America. Sarah Palin isn’t a dimwit without anything valuable to say or contribute to the country. Republicans aren’t all greedy and corporate stooges. Democrats aren’t all Big Government liberals and against capitalism. The news media (generally) aren’t a tool of the Left or the Right. And my sister wasn’t an uncaring addict who overdosed on a cold day in Michigan.
As we walk through life and deal with one another, we need to keep in mind that truth is not in the headline or the pithy sound bite but deeper in the hearts and souls of each of us—and in the good intentions that most of us carry with us every day, whether we’re bagging groceries, cleaning offices, defending our country, or negotiating a tax compromise.
Diving down to those depths, rather than just snorkeling in the shallows, might give us the bends. But it also might tell us a little more about each other and ourselves.
And maybe it would be good to consider the possibility that each of us, even on our bad days, is walking around with a Christmas list in our pocket."
Perhaps this should be the only way to write about anything that really matters.
Studying politics, like working with the meanest kids, has a tendency to sit heavy on the heart.
They're both similar activities. Both celebrating their meaner instincts. Politics, especially, in the last 10 years. Both pretending like their meaner instincts are their better instincts. Because it's easier than facing shortcomings, in both cases. And listening. And being decent. And having faith in people. And being better, generally.
All of the things we take for granted with nicer people. Loving people. The same people that the meanspirited scapegoat for the failures of their meaner impulses.
Because it's easier than having the courage to take responsibility for them, is the truth.
All of this has made the the world an enormous mess in the last 10 years.
And all of it weighs on the heart. Which is exactly what meaner folks count on to get their way when they want to do that. So it's not terribly surprising.
And the saddest consequence of all this for me and for the country, right now, I was realizing, tonight, is just how much it underestimates just how great each of us and all of us can be.
Given the one thing people have been desperately trying to avoid and more explicitly undermine than I have ever seen.
Our sense of common and higher purpose.
It's been a strange odyssey to watch a country and a world give up on its sense of common purpose. And to pretend like its baser impulses can somehow compensate for more genuine higher purpose.
And the saddest fact of all, in all of this, is how much this fails to appreciate just how great each of us and all of us can be. Given a commitment towards that end.
We may choose not to be great. Not to be good and decent to one another. Not to be generous and decent. To be courageous and humble. To be compassionate and thoughtful. To be forgiving and trustworthy. To be all of the values that we know, deep in our hearts, are humanity's and America's strongest legacy.
We can choose that.
And we can live with its fruits.
And we are, currently, living with those fruits.
And the craziness of it all is that it really does not have to be that way.
Because we can also support one another to aspire for our own greatness. And for greatness as a nation. And greatness in our commitment to the purposes of all humanity.
People really can be better. To let those who refuse to do so refuse. And to lead them in better directions. And to let those those take up the mantle of greatness lead us. And to aspire in the direction of greatness. Because it serves us better. Even when we fall short.
The rub is that it means humbling ourselves. And facing how we fall short. To take up greatness in whatever pursuit once again.
Especially in the pursuit of being a great human being. Great children and parents. Great spouses and loved ones. Great people making great contributions to our families and communities and world and the lives of others.
If there is anything I regret at this point in my life it is losing track of this commitment in my own life, too often. And losing track of my commitment and need to aspire in this direction no matter what anyone else is doing. To let them lead their lives as they see fit. For good and for bad.
To take greatness seriously in my own life. To see greatness in others. To encourage them and myself in more loving and constructive directions.And to let people choose otherwise if they so choose. Except when they are dangerous to others.
Because the truth is that greatness is within our reach. Mine. Yours. All of us. One day at a time. One choice at a time. One moment at a time.
And the rest of my life is committed to seeing and encouraging that in myself and others. To knowing the limits of doing so for anyone other than myself. And to love and appreciate deeply people in my life no matter how this pans out for any of us.
Just how great can we be?
As great as we can imagine. And make real what it conceivable and able to be actualized.
That is just how great I aspire to be.
And doing so does not need me to bemoan the ways that the world falls short somewhat and perhaps substantially less than I am encouraging myself and the world in the direction of its biggest, greatest horizons.
Many will choose to forgo those horizons.
Until their pride gives way to a humble appreciation for what is possible.
For me. For others. For the world.
And that is the only way forward that really offers anything real to satisfy the deepest sense of purpose and satisfaction in life, I am convinced.
Just how great can I be?
Just how great can you be?
Now's as good as time as any to enlighten the rest of us.
Poll: Support Drops for Afghanistan War
Something is amiss, these days, in America and the world.
And America's discussion about the war in Afghanistan should be the big red flag for everyone that this is so.
The Afghanistan war, for those who were never fully convinced - I include myself, here, when the war was initially declared - really was and is the war of self-defense. This is in contrast to the Iraq war, which was a worthy war of choice, I believe, with a far-less-than-worthy effort to persuade others of that fact.
After Al Queda attacked on September 11th, the means of capturing or killing remaining fighters, likely to strike again if not contained or killed, was limited by the their ability to find save haven. They had one in the mountains of eastern Afghanistan (and western Pakistan) with no recourse to capture or kill them given a Taliban government that was sympathetic to the cause of Al Queda and not likely willing, in any uncertain terms, to cooperate with the United States.
Absent a U.S. invasion, Afghanistan not only had one of the more brutal and oppressive regimes, over its own people whom had no say over the matter, and towards Muslim people, for those concerned about the fate of Islam under liberal or illiberal governents, in the world. More immediately threatening to U.S. interests, it was a safe haven for Al Queda fighters operating and planning future attacks on the United States and other targets with impunity.
In other words, without invading Afghanistan, the likelihood of Al Queda remaining on the offensive and attacking the United States again was very high. By invading, Al Queda played mouse to our cat and laid low in hiding (and we had a better chance of capturing Bin Laden and the lot) and a terribly ugly and brutal regime gets taken out, in the process, and Afghanis could elect a government of their choosing democratically. Just as we take for granted in the good ol' U.S. of A. as we debate the very issue.
Now, that is the argument that should have been made and debated in 2001, and was, in part, when America first invaded Afghanistan.
And the fact that we didn't discuss and debate this invasion or the invasion in Iraq nearly thoroughly, respectfully, open-heartedly, and open-mindedly enough - and with more focus on doing good than looking good - has everything to do with why the domestic politics is such a mess, on both this war and the war in Iraq and most issues America faces, right now.
So lots of fucking up in this war, the war in Iraq, and all around. And mostly, contrary to popular opinion, not around the military strategy - where America has always had overwhelming force - but around the political matters - in how we understand and engage the people issues, more honestly - and our failure to have an honest and respectful enough discussion and debate about all the people matters that matter.
And in a way where everyone did exactly what everyone is so loathe to do today.
To admit the only and most important honest thing they could possibly admit about anything of any import.
That they may not have all the answers. That they could be wrong. And that, thus, there was plenty to explore, with a genuinely open mind and heart, to arrive at better decisions.
All of this is true. And all of this has created an enormous clusterfuck in Afghanistan. And Iraq. And on most issues that America faces right now. Largely because we've all be acting like assholes and acting like acting like assholes has no consequences when it so clearly has.
So, now, that's where we're at, today.
Now, 9 years later, with nearly 10 years of emotional and upsetting debates about both these wars and any number of issues that matter to people, and with a long war with lots of Americans dying, people have grown war weary.
Understandable. Especially when a lot of folks are not completely clear on the stakes in this war. And many of them may just disagree with me, no matter how clear I am that the stakes are too high to just pull out and supposedly cut our losses.
What's not understandable is all of that meaning that America pulls out of the one situation where self-defense was and still is (as far as I know, Osama Bin Laden is still at large) the real legitimate reason to go to war. And to do so knowing that doing so will leave Afghanis to the devices of those brutal thugs who used to rule their country, in league with the very brutal thugs who killed our people and were the reason for us being there, in the first place, and will do so, again, as soon as they have the inkling they can get away with it.
What's not understandable, in other words, is quitting. Because it's hard.
All the while, pretending what tough little badasses we are to the rest of the world.
It's fuckin' weak, is what it is.
It's fuckin' pathetic.
And it is exactly what America has become in the early 21st century the more we march down this dark path we've been on.
America wants to prove how tough she is.
Stick it out and do the right thing.
And stop making excuses for why we don't wanna.
Or why the fact that we don't wanna somehow means that the people who do want to stick it out need to follow suit. All to suit your ego. And pride. And whatever damn fool impulse drives you, these days.
In other words, perhaps Afghanistan can be a genuine restart.
An opportunity for America to do what she has been failing to do for the last 10 years.
To lead.
And leadership meaning building commitment to doing the right thing.
Patiently. Honestly. The way real, sustainable commitment of any kind is built.
Even when all the popular winds point otherwise.
I don't care how weary we feel.
We went here for the right reasons. And we're fighting there, now, for the right reasons.
And if we leave, Afghanis go back to a brutal, barbaric existence.
All so we could pretend how tough we were.
But not really be tough when it counted.
Meaning, resigning ourselves to being a nation of whining little pussies.
All the while crowing about how fuckin' tough we are.
And then bailing, when the going gets tough.
Leadership is calling out that bullshit for what it is.
And building commitment to something genuinely better.
And we are all welcome to follow anything else that we please.
But pretending like doing so is really our best, or toughest, or most thoughtful selves is really just bullshit. No matter how you try to spin that one.
And if America leaves Afghanistan. They deserve to be known for the fuckin' whiny, tough-talkin' little pussies they turned out to be.
And no amount of talking our way out of that one will make anything different from what it really is.
America is not a country of whiny, tough-talkin' little pussies.
Not for long, that is.
Because we have what it takes to be better than all that bullshit.
And we're gonna stick it out in Afghanistan and demonstrate that's true. And not just talk it.
Doubt that? Watch, motherfucker.
And you know why, captain?
Because nothing else would be worthy of the name American.
And, in my book, at least. That still means something.
I am convinced, at this point, the more I watch politics, and the utter failure of any political partisan to ever acknowledge any real failure, at all, that most progress in politics happens largely despite ourselves.
Despite our egos. And our stupid pride. And our failure to ever admit failure. Because we think by doing so we make it go away. Or, at least, not our problem.
Which explains most of the problems of liberal democratic politics, right now.
And, for that, we have only ourselves to blame.
What I know today that I did not realize more than 20 years ago, when I first started following American and international politics, is that political leaders are often the farthest thing from an example or role model for life that one could want. For one's children. And for anyone, for that matter.
Because political leaders so consistently fail to do the one thing that anyone would want out of a role model.
To admit their mistakes.
To themselves, at the very least. And to others, when they feel comfortable. A fact we make far less likely by making anyone, nevertheless those in politics, afraid of doing, for fear of the repercussions, even though it is the surest route to facilitating willingness to giving our mistakes up. So that we can move on and stop making them. The failure to do so being about the most damn fool way to live life possible. Because failing to admit your mistakes, of course, by any objective criteria of judgment, does not, in fact, mean that you are not making them. It just means you are repeating them. For as long as it takes for you to admit them.
Says the man to his mistakes.
There is no one in politics, these days - no one, not even one - person I look up to for this purpose. Which is how it should be, I suppose. Since the man I should be looking to for that purpose is myself, of course.
And if there is anything I have learned from politics in 20 years it is that there is so much to be learned, of any substance, from those in politics is of the variety of negative example. Sadly. And, these days, that is a more serious problem than I have ever witnessed it in my lifetime.
If you are looking for anyone to save you, outside of yourself, you are damned fool, is the bottom line, if you look to these people. They can barely take care of themselves, nevertheless you or your loved ones. And, after a time, if you are still looking to them to be a better judge of your life and what is best for you more than for yourself, you not only are a fool - because they can't do so, no matter how much you might wish differently, and, typically, are barely able to sufficiently do so in their own lives - but you really have no one else to blame but yourself for that foolishness.
Because there is no politician who is ever going to come down from on high and tell you:
"Most of the time, we're just doing our best to think of something and get elected. The truth is, we haven't thought nearly enough about this stuff, either. We have strong opinions. Just like so many of you. But just like so many of you, that really doesn't mean jack shit, in the real world, is the truth. Opinions are like assholes. And there's an awful lot of those, too, doing their damage in this tiny little world, now aren't there?"
It's the most profound thing I have to say on the matter, these days. Because I am so fully convinced that these idiots will never say so themselves. So someone has to say it.
The most important thing I have for my kids, for any kids, and for anyone in life, at this point, I'm convinced, is my example.
And the most important example I have to offer, right now, I'm convinced, is that if you want to be an idiot in life, it is all yours. Enjoy it. Because it's going to hard to enjoy anything else, given the mess you're likely to make of your life.
Says the man to his mess.
But I don't want to make a mess of life. And I know, without reservation, at this point, that the surest way to a tidier, self-respecting life I might love is to be the best man I know how to be. The best father. And husband. And son and brother. The best man I know. And to let the idiots have their idiocy. And to live a life I'm genuinely proud of.
Like opinions, anybody can be an asshole. Doesn't take much, frankly.
And anybody can have the damn fool life that comes with it.
I'll take something with more real love, myself.
And I just won't be settling for anything else, at this point.
No matter what gets laid on the table.
And that's the only kind of progress that could ever be worth anything even approaching anything real in my too short a lifetime.
In any lifetime, for that matter.
I'm weary of the lie.
The lie that my lying and cynicism is exactly what make me worthy of overpowering you.
Obama's Cynical Maneuvering on the Health-Care Mandate
"On page 25 of his decision, Judge Hudson writes, “Despite pre-enactment representations to the contrary by the Executive and Legislative branches, the Secretary now argues that the Minimum Essential Coverage Provision is, in essence, a ‘tax penalty.’
If you slow down, enough, to hear it, as I've been, here, recently.
This guy is unbelievable.
Who I'd want my daughter to marry, at least.
Thanks, Jack. Thanks for everything
At some point, in every person's life, we are faced with the choice.
Am I going to follow that herd? Even when they have stampeded down that dark path.
Or am I going to have courage to croon that ballad I sing quietly in my own soul?
The road less taken, says Frost.
To your own heart be true, sings the Bard.
And Jack. He thinks the answers could be found. We could learn from digging down. But no one ever seems to be digging.
And you. I'm curious. What verse might you have to share with the heartfelt world?
What secrets are whispered in your tell-tale heart.
What dreams hunger expression.
What love needs your heart to breathe.
Now that's a tune, if you ask nicely, I just might just be willing to give a listen. Or two, if you listen to the sad, lonely melody in mine.
How awesome is it to basically tell everyone else in your business:
I am the smartest, sweetest, most beautiful motherfucker up in this joint.
What the fuck are you gonna do about it?
Jack Johnson. Loving the fuck out of everyone. And that means you, too, bitch.
If we opt for life to become like prison - where the most aggressive can bully to get what they want - are we willing to live with prison conditions?
Where everyone becomes more and more aggressive to ward off potential retaliation and where aggression and retaliation make everyone feel unsafe, and too insecure to give it all up?
Or, to put it a bit more simply:
Do you really want life to be like prison?
Or should we save prison for the truly dangerous?
And the rest of us just learn to behave better? And stop acting like prisonyard bullies?
Something to chew on.
Outside the gruel they serve around here.
Maybe the world really doesn't have anything better to offer.
Maybe tragedy is the only language we will ever speak.
Or maybe.
ZenHabits - What's Wrong With the World? Not a Damn Thing.
This is your moment of Zen.
Nobel head: Liu's prize based on universal values
"The Nobel Peace Prize panel on Thursday defended its award to jailed dissident Liu Xiabaobo as based on 'universal values,' rejecting Beijing's accusation that it is trying force Western ideas on China.
Dear American partisans (Left and Right, and whichever rock you hide under),
Thank you, from the bottom of my heart.
For shitting all over my country.
Thank you for what an insane mess you've made of America.
Though how terribly strange and sad and small of you that you behave like this and call it anything even resembling good or decent or honest or anything of the sort.
How thoroughly mindless and weaselly that you shut down all reasonable discussion and understanding, and lately, our short term economic fortunes, and take no responsibility for the consequences of any of it. All while you destroy others for their own failures. And for your own purposes.
Whether you admit it or not, Mr. and Mrs. Left or Right Wingnut, you are responsible for the mess this country is in.
And no one cares what your excuses are anymore.
I certainly don't.
The Wiemar Republic quickly became the Third Reich when left-wing and right-wing partisans did the same to the German government and economy in the 1930's.
Thankfully, in America, we take our right to think and speak for ourselves more seriously than all that bullshit.
But thank you, just the same, for fucking up my country and acting like no big whoop.
And thank you for continuing the legacy that has killed, oppressed, and made miserable the lives of more human beings than any other legacy that our species has to offer.
And telling the world, "What the fuck are you gonna do about it?" while you shit all over it.
In other words:
Fuck you. You mindless bullies.
And get used to that refrain. That will be my response to anything you ask for. At all. Ever. Anymore. For as long as we know one another.
You don't like that. Humble thyself.
If not, enjoy the consequences.
I don't care about your causes, anymore. Not until you stop being shitheads.
My patience is finally worn.
Sincerely,
You Know Who
Quick question.
Doesn't progress mean things get better?
Talk amongst yourselves.
After a weekend of some honest reflection on my life, I'm wanting to take a slightly different turn with my life, from here on out, I think.
I've been too angry for too long with a world too stubborn and foolish to give up the unnecessary tragedy. A world of homo sapiens, especially, who bully and kill and oppress and hurt one another for no real useful purpose. A species that, too the contrary, creates most of its own tragedy. And gives ammunition to the excuses of all its friends and especially its enemies. All in the name of avoiding that same tragedy. Or so it says.
I'm tired of the theatrics and tired drama of the Hominidae. The liberal and the illiberal variations. Their politics and their money. Their violence and their power envy. Their popular and their higher culture. Or so they say. And all the rest of the world that all the rest of the world is focussed on.
I want to make a difference, is the truth. I want to contribute what might make the world a better place to live.
Some honest and loving understanding on all of it might offer something along those lines, I hope. Can't do worse than all the alternatives, I reckon.
I just appreciate this sort of contribution better, is the truth. Jack's quiet reflections on life. On a world consumed with itself, to be sure. A world consumed with one another. A world consumed and consumed with consuming.
And a life reflecting on life, with my own heart, with friends and family, with a wife and kids, with everyone we love, without the theatrics and tired drama we so often choose. In lieu of something more loving and understanding. A little life more full of love and understanding.
Be a damn shame, wouldn't it?
A world more loving and understanding. Lives more thoughtful and full of love. Respecting each others' limits and learning and consciences.
Be a goddamn shame, wouldn't it?
Not possible, say cynics. Because of cynics like us, say the same. Or at least those other cynics on the other side of this godforsaken garden.
Maybe not tomorrow, says yours truly. But maybe not impossible, either, says the same. If we stop making all the excuses, that is. For us. And our failures. And all the rest.
For my children's sakes. And for their children. And for their children. And all the rest.
For all the children that are bigger than us and our opinions. About ourselves and one another. Even if we won't be.
For my children, in the meantime. And for all the rest, while I'm at it.
The one thing that the left and right agree on, these days.
Whether it's business, government, the press, or whomever gettin' their macho on, these days.
They sure as hell aren't responsible for any of the messes America finds itself in, today.
America: As lame as we wanna be. As long as someone else is doing the real heavy lifting.
A kind-hearted yiddish response to Charles Krauthammer's sweet-natured musings.
From our own Linda Richmond:
Da Wikileaps dumps, like leaks to mainstream media, aw good fah freedom and demaw-cracy. And America. Talk amongst ya-selves.
Freedom and democracy: It's like da bread and da butta.
Happy Hanukah, bubbellahs.
A serious sign of just how bad things have gotten in America. This guy, I mean.
When an FCC commissioner starts talking about regulating the content of news and journalism, you know respect for the spirit and the letter of the First Amendment face serious threats.
Liberal my ass, Michael. You need to spend some more time figuring out what that word means, Commissioner.
In the meantime, go fuck yourself, Mr. FCC.
The grownups in this country will sort this out just fine without your oversight.
Exactly what it means to be a grownup in the free world.
Thomas P. Barnett has the strongest reflections on the WikiLeaks mess and the lessons it offers for American foreign policy that I've seen.
Wikileaks and Obama's False Utopia
"So the Obama administration says America's relations with our allies around the world can survive the latest WikiLeaks dump of U.S. diplomatic cables, and I'm inclined to agree. Truth is, the whole thing reads like a booze-addled Thanksgiving argument spun out of control, and nothing more. So the Middle East's corrupt autocrats hate each other and constantly goad the White House into taking out their garbage — big deal! God only knows the same good ol' boys will be the first to condemn us once things get tough and we choose to act. (To say nothing of Julian Assange's impending lawsuit.) In the meantime, sell the bad guys a few anti-missile defense systems and tell 'em to shut the hell up, because President Obama has one helluva lot more on his plate right now than just Iran, or North Korea, or Pakistan, or... you get the point.
But here's the bigger point: What really screams out from all these very much undiplomatic cables is how little Obama ever really broke from the Bush doctrine. I mean, in a certain way, he never really broke from it at all. Yes, there's been a laudable break from Cheney's Toughonics in terms of rhetoric, but in spirit, Obama still hasn't gotten realistic with his foreign-policy ambitions all that much. The president is constantly lecturing us about how America can't do it all, and yet consider how many plates he's trying to spin around the world. He keeps talking about how we need to accept this new world and how we can't solve any big problems on our own, but he hasn't acted like that's the case — not enough, anyway. And, quite frankly, Obama's lack of adjustment to his own articulation of a global future is starting to make America look weaker than we really are.
If I might be so bold as to warn of a strategic trilemma here: America can't simultaneously be about stopping the spread of nuclear weapons and promoting democratic regime change and unwinding our wars in a responsible fashion. Something's got to give, on multiple fronts...
...It's high time, then, for Obama to put his Nobel in the closet, get his inner Nixon on, and get to work in the one arena where John Boehner and Mitch McConnell don't share his bed. If we really want to move the ball forward instead of just keeping a bunch in the air, compromise had better start sooner than the hunt for some Australian "journalist" with a fancy Web site."
I highly recommend reading his entire thought process.
He's right.
The weakness of the Administration is not that it is too soft. Or compassionate. Or any other damn fool notion of weakness.
It is too much hubris. And ambition. As with his domestic policy. And American policy, domestic and international, writ large.
The weakness of American international and domestic policy is not too little muscle.
It is too little humility.
What weakness looks like in any serious human endeavor. For those for whom strength has meaning beyond their own egos.
And ignoring that fact just entails more failure.
Have at it, boys. I say. I'm sure it will make all that failure go away.
Just like North Korea. Or Iran. Or Cuba. Or Zimbabwe.
Or any government organized primarily around power rather than around freedom.
Failure is nothing new to the cynics who manipulate for power.
What is new is the notion that no one should be listening to their excuses.
No how matter how many ways they spin it. Or try to talk their way around the failure.
Strength is humility in the face of failure.
And a commitment to real success. When making excuses is easier.
Says the man to his excuses.
Perhaps something stronger is in order.
Love thy neighbor would be a good start. To understand him or her.
Respect for freedom of conscience would help us learn and comprehend the world better.
And the liberty and democratic self-determination that flow from those principles, for peoples as much as for individuals, would center all of our efforts more effectively.
And the proof is in the rotten pudding made of its alternatives.
Enjoy that pudding, folks
Myself. I'll just be expecting something better.
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