Take that to the bank

Maybe it's because I'm watching Joe versus the Volcano, right now.

Maybe it's because I'm working with a such a nice crowd - the teachers I work with at Capital City, not the students; although sometimes, like today, the students - at this point in my life.

Maybe it's because I'm at a time in my life when I've been shitty enough in my life and know well enough what freedom we all have to be shitty or decent and have no interest in being any shittier than I've already been in my life.

Maybe it's because the more I've seen the just how fucked up people can treat one another - that is the essence of studying politics, too often, sadly - the more I really appreciate people who treat others and me decently.

But for whatever reasons, I'm completely clear, at this point in my life, that the best that life has to offers is not found in money or position or power and certainly not in sex or drugs or even rock-n-roll, as fun as I'm sure all of these things are and as fun as I've had with each of them.

The best that life has to offer is found in the feeling of being with decent people who treat me and others with compassion, love, genuine concern, and an appreciation for something other than themselves.

Everything else is bullshit. And there's not a goddamn thing in the world that has ever taken the place of this feeling in my life, ever. Ever. Not even once.

And if you think differently, you have lived a sad little life bereft of any of the deeper, more intimate pleasures that come from loving others and being loved by others more than your selfish, petty little desires.

And having seen that life from a distance many, many times, and making choices in that direction more often that I am proud to say, I could never live that life if you paid me a million dollars to do it (ok, maybe I'd try it out for a week or so, and then I'd feel like I was a waste of life if I didn't return to a life of more meaning).

I've had enough of both to know that a life loving people and being loved by people more than a more self-centered life could afford is by far a better life and one where I feel better to be alive than anything that cynicism or money or power or whatever bullshit others may center their lives around could ever afford anyone.

And I will no longer listen to any asshole who says differently. Because it's completely clear to me, today, that the reason they say differently is because they are such self-centered and miserable schmucks. And boo-fucking-hoo for them until they face up.

In the meantime, a life of deep meaning and connection and a life where I am and feel loved because I have so much love in return is better than any paycheck you could offer me.

And you can take that to the bank.

Love,
Ben

Nice guys finish last

You know why the mythology (and all too often, the reality, at times) goes that nice guys finish last?

Because so many people, perhaps most, are such shitheads, and they reward people like themselves far more than they are worth.

And their cynicism preys on the fears of all people that being good doesn't pay.

That fact of life fucks up the world more than any other. That and all of the excuses that we've created for what shitheads we are rather than just facing up. And noone takes responsibility, of course, because shitheads don't take responsibility for their fuckups. That's the nature of being a shithead.

And all of that would be forever true if being good didn't pay, of course. But the trick is that it does pay. Just long after all of the fucking up that gets in the way, in the meantime. And being good pays in ways that are important but not always material.

And nice guys (and girls) often finish last on material measures because they care more about the intangibles than they do the material. It's shitheads who care more about money or power or whatever bullshit they pursue instead of being a decent person and spending their time with other decent people and doing good for all kinds of people, decent or not. And, as Warren Buffet and Bill Gates demonstrate, nice guys working with money often finish first too.

Cynicism can take you only so far in this world.

And where it will never take you is in the direction of more genuine happiness.

That comes with being a decent person and spending your time with people who treat you well.

And, in that respect, nice guys and gals generally finish first every time.

And shitheads just never know what they're missing. Because they never bothered to look into what life was like on the other side. And, by that measure, it's pretty fuckin' clear to me just who comes in last.

Love,
Ben

Being good or getting what you want

For many people, perhaps most people, it is more important to get what they want than it is to do good. And, as a part of that outlook, they will mock, snipe, and otherwise defend their self-centeredness.

I don't happen to be one of those people. And I take seriously the idea that everyone needs to behave better - in great part by embracing, honestly, their propensity to behave badly - and face up to the cynicism and work harder at being better.

So if you have more cynical input to offer me, be prepared that I am well aware that there are plenty of people who care more about themselves than about doing good.

I just don't listen to your sorry-ass excuses for what a shithead your being. Neither do I listen to my own, by way. At least not long.

Love,
Ben