Taking responsibility

I'm a little underwhelmed by this sad little political period and with myself.

The truth is that my organization is a mess. I've improved significantly and I'm on a steep and ambitious learning curve. But I still stink. I've worked very, very hard at it and I am getting things, slowly, under control. I'm frustrated with the slow pace. But I've dealt with this problem for most of my university life - 12 years - which were the bulk of my young adulthood. So the fact that I'm making as quick of progress on this, at this point, is a big deal for me.

But so many of the more aggressive ways that people dealt with me and this issue - many of which were outgrowths of a period of far too much stress, pressure, aggression, and fear on everyone's parts (each of those issues are highly corellated) - so completely and clearly undermined me and the development of my organizational and teaching and other abilities, as they have my entire life. I've said so to coaches. They've ignored me. I've said so to professors. They've ignored me. I've said so to bosses. They've ignored me. As a teacher and an authority figure I see better, now, why people in authority ignore those they have authority over. Because they grow calloused and arrogant about all of the responsibility they carry and all of the terrible ways that they get treated in the course of carrying out that authority.

And I don't care, anymore. As a rule, at this point, I don't trust people with authority and only turn to them when I have no other choice. My commitment, at this point in my life, is to keep them out of my life and my work, as much as possible, unless I trust that they are there to genuinely help. Too often, as a rule, that is not the case. So I will stay clear of them as much as possible as a rule, from here on out, until that changes.

And that's where humanity is stuck, right now. We keep treating each other shitty. So we pass it around. And pass it around. And pass it around. And pass it around. Or we don't, and we hold it inside until we let it loose on someone within our path. Sometimes it means losing our tempers. Cho Seung-Hui and Eric Harris and Dylan Kleibold gave up hope and let loose on several of their classmates. And we pass it around. And we pass it around. And we pass it around. And we pass it around. And we don't learn our lesson. And we don't learn our lesson. And we don't learn our lesson. And we don't learn our lesson.

And the biggest lesson of all that we don't learn from is that all that aggression undermines our ability to learn the lesson.

Why in the hell do liberal democratic peoples think that all that growth and development in humanity's history happens as we lessen our aggressive ways towards one another and create more freedom for people? Why in the hell do liberal peoples think that every most signficant advance in the path of liberal societies has involved treating someone better? Why in the hell do we think that all of our most important advances have involved putting behind us a more forceful, more aggressive, more repressive, more inequitable periods in our histories?

And then we spend the rest of our sad, miserable, cynical little existences hoping that we're not too decent, not too nice, not too generous or forgiving. Not too good.

The truth is that all of our fears make us assholes. And we're bigger assholes, as Jesus used to say, because we spend all our time pointing fingers at one another talking about what an asshole the next guy is and how our shit smells like roses, all so we never have to admit our failures and fuck-ups.

The truth, in my little corner of it, is that I've been a miserable teacher this year. I've been exhausted and overwhelmed by all of the paperwork and all of the aggressive attitudes from teachers and kids and parents and everyone that have all gotten glorified this year. I've been constantly emotionally drained by all of the bullying and the unrealistic expectations and the pushing and the otherwise shitty behavior that I've encountered from all kinds of people during this time. My organizational and time management abilities have always needed serious work - work that I have done and that I'm really proud of, at this point; I am really getting on top of priorities that have long been a much more serious struggle - but my ability to improve them has been persistently undermined by all of the bullying and more aggressive encounters I've had with people. It's really very seriously undermined both my teaching and my capacity to improve my capacities all year. I've got much work to do in that capacity. But my and I'm sure everyone's abilities have likely taken a hit because of it all. That's fine with me because it both reinforces for me how shitty that way of doing things is and it has definitely weakened my commitment to folks who behave in this way, no matter who they are.

And that is why people give up on one another and turn to any number of escapes or pursuits or destruction towards themselves or others to fill the space in their hearts that all of that aggression they experience creates.

And noone wants to admit the mistake. And noone wants to admit the mistake. And noone wants to admit the mistake. And noonne wants to admit the mistake. And we pass it around and pass it around and pass it around and pass it around. And noone wants to admit the mistake and noone wants to admit the mistake and noone wants to admit the mistake. And we pass it around and we pass it around and we pass it around.

There are only two pathes out of this.

Either we begin to cut it out.

Or we stay stuck.

Each choice will have consequence.

And we will all be stuck with those consequences until we face up.

It's either pass it around, pass it around, pass it around, pass it around.

Or it's beginning to cut it out.

That's it. That is the fundamental choice for humanity's road forward. That is where the only genuine progress lies.

Everything else is manipulative and self-centered and dishonest.

Either we will have the courage to admit that.

Or we will stay stuck and stagnate.

What we are doing, right now, I think, is growing. Very, very slowly. Very, very slowly we are facing this much more fundamental question for humanity.

All because we can't and won't be honest with one another. All because we are scared of the consequences. So we scare each other with consequences. So we are less honest. So we grow less quickly. And on and on and on until we face up to this ugly legacy.

You know why I'm so confident that we'll overcome this foolishness? Because there is no other way out. Everything else is a bluff and bullshit. Even the proponents of its alternatives know this. They've just just gotten too used to the bluff and the bullshit. But they know it's bluff and bullshit. When they're honest with themselves. Though that may be all too rarely.

And that is the question that humanity has to answer before it more genuinely begins to move forward: when are we going to get more honest with ourselves and one another?

It's ironic isn't it? How rarely people take responsibility in the era of accountability?

It makes total sense to me. Because the aggressive and forceful ways that we've approached accountability, these days, completely encourages us to withhold taking responsibility, and the forgiveness that goes with it. And we pass it on and we pass it on and we pass it on and we pass it on. And noone admits the mistake and noone admits the mistake and noone admits the mistake and noone admits the mistake. And we pass it on and we pass it on and we pass it on and we pass it on.

And the saddest thing of all is that we pass it on to the very children and young people who we say that we do it all for. And then when they grow up and they feel good about life and look forward to life and treat people better than we do, we look on them with suspicion and say, "You know why you're so fuckin' happy? Because you don't know the real world yet." The real world that we created and pretend is all going so much better than it really is. And we look at those same young people and we say, "You're so sweet because you're so naive."

All because we can't bring ourselves to face ourselves and do the one thing that we lecture them to do their whole lives:

To take responsibility.

And we pass it on and we pass it on and pass it on. And we don't admit the mistake and we don't admit the mistake and we don't admit the mistake and we don't admit the mistake.

Hitler carried on like that. Until he lost the war, that is. The Soviets did too. Until they fell apart.

And now we face the same choice. Do we listen to our consciences and admit the mistake? Or do we fail to admit the mistake and keep passing it on?

It is the choice that all of humanity faces. Every generation. Every lifetime. It is the choice that each person faces in their lifetime. Do I listen to my conscience, to my better angels? Or do I stubbornly refuse to face the mistake?

Jesus was right. It is easier to see this mistake in others before we see it in ourselves. And choosing to acknowledge that mistake is the fundamental choice that we face in our lifetimes.

May we choose wisely.

Love,
Ben

What engaging the culture war has wrought

For those liberals who were convinced that taking down conservatives was going to resolve important political and cultural issues and schisms, we sow what we reap.

Here is the consequences of the bitterness among conservatives that the most recent round of liberal political takedowns is sowing:

"In an exclusive interview with NewsMax Magazine, Bill O'Reilly declares that the U.S. is engaged in a "culture war" pitting those with traditional American values against "secular progressives" who want to overhaul the nation.

And O'Reilly is using his power as a top radio and TV "talker" to fight for those traditional values. Warrior O'Reilly says Christianity is under attack, identifies the country's most dangerous man, and scoffs at the influence of Hillary Clinton. Here's a sample of what O'Reilly has to say: "The far-left smear machine is already cranked up over ‘Culture Warrior.' You basically have to begin with the definition of the culture war. And it's between traditionalists who believe the country is noble — America is a noble nation, we can make mistakes, but basically at the heart of our system is a nobility that makes the world a better place – and secular progressives, who believe America is a deeply flawed nation that needs a fundamental overhaul."

NewsMax Magazine's October edition features a wide-ranging interview with O'Reilly — author of the new book "Culture Warrior."

Warrior O'Reilly says Christianity is under attack, identifies the country's most dangerous man, and scoffs at the influence of Hillary Clinton.

Here's a sample of what O'Reilly has to say:

"The far-left smear machine is already cranked up over ‘Culture Warrior.' You basically have to begin with the definition of the culture war. And it's between traditionalists who believe the country is noble — America is a noble nation, we can make mistakes, but basically at the heart of our system is a nobility that makes the world a better place – and secular progressives, who believe America is a deeply flawed nation that needs a fundamental overhaul."

He also states in the interview: "There isn't anybody more vilified in American culture than me. Why? Because I know what [secular progressives are] up to, and I know how they work."

And he says: "The Republicans fear me, not as much as the Democrats, but believe me, Dick Cheney isn't kicking my door in to get on ‘The Factor' because I've got their number."

O'Reilly is also unafraid of taking on his colleagues in the media. As for MSNBC's repeated attacks on his Fox show, O'Reilly said, "It's desperation. There has never been an operation that has failed as much as this operation. You've had a 10-year failure. Not one success." Perhaps O'Reilly's most surprising comments were about Hillary Clinton, a polarizing figure that's become the bogeyman for the right. Not so fast, says O'Reilly, who argues that Hillary is "not a hard core secular progressive" but simply a "knee-jerk liberal."

In his interview with NewsMax, O'Reilly also tackles the ACLU, George Soros, John McCain, Rudy Giuliani, Newt Gingrich and other figures on the national scene.

The accompanying NewsMax Magazine feature article "Talk About Power" takes an in-depth look at the world of talk radio and its impact on the nation, spotlighting NewsMax's Top 25 Most Influential Talkers in 2006 — including Rush Limbaugh, Don Imus, Michael Savage, Sean Hannity and Laura Ingraham.

The "O'Reilly's War" edition of NewsMax Magazine has been hitting newsstands across the country, including many Barnes & Noble, Hastings, Follett, Borders, B. Dalton, Books-a Million and other major bookstores, as well as Publix supermarkets in the Southeast."

I've tried my best to convince liberals to avoid this path. They refused. This is the consequence.

Here's my favorite question: who's going to take responsibility?

I'm sure it will be all those Democratic leaders in Congress. Probably all those radical and liberal activists. Perhaps it will be all those professors who have helped rationalized a leftist assault on conservatives.

Or, perhaps, worst of all, it will be noone.

How sad that would be. A world that is truly hopeless because noone will ever take responsibility for any of the most serious mistakes.

Except...

That world can't sustain itself. So something else will have to take its place.

Perhaps a world of that is less harsh and which allows for more genuine responsibility.

It really is the only honest way forward.

There is no culture war that will finally resolve our problems. Or an election. Or a final caged match where only one ideology comes out alive.

There is only a path that creates the space for more genuine responsibility.

And that is the path where we treat one another better and where we borrow from the best ideas, no matter where they come from.

That is the only path forward and has always been the only path forward, for as long as humanity will survive and thrive. And it is the only honest path forward for a humanity that is too scared and scary to make a thriving world less difficult to sustain.

Here's to a more genuinely thriving and sustainable world. It will only come when we pay closer attention and treat better our one most important resource on the planet: each other.

Love,
Ben

The problem that humanity has faced since its conception

It suddenly occurred to me, this morning, that I decided to take on the problem that humanity has been facing for 2000 years. How to get humanity more honest with itself given its propensity for aggression and force and repression to undermine that honesty.

I was just looking to make things better.

Honesty does tend to win out, in the end. But repression sure does get in its licks doesn't it?

Love,
Ben