Threatening our way into oblivion

I just got out of a Wednesday afternoon inservice. The district administrators have decided that they are going to remove Dr. Ogburn (who is the best teacher in the building, with few exceptions) from giving the inservice and instead have our instructional coach give the inservice (who is a nice woman, but not Dr. Ogburn).

What's been happening, I'm realizing, is the the school may not make AYP (adequately yearly progress) this year. And that threat is now being held over the head of every teacher and administrator in the building.

And moral is low.

It's not low because people don't have hope and aren't making all kinds of efforts to create student success. They are.

Moral is low because everyone in the building, no matter how much more self-sacrificing they are than almost anyone else engaged in school reform discussions, are now being threatened with some kind of external take-over of some operations or coerced action if the school does not meet AYP.

And this afternoon was just a taste of what that might look like.

I just want to note that no matter how such efforts fail, I seriously doubt you will ever hear a district administrator or a local, state, or federal politician take responsibility.

Because they are not in the business of creating school success. They are in the business of blaming schools and teachers when do they do not. Which is exactly what the very dysfunctional and punitive political discussion about school reform has wrought.

And when it fails -- which it undoubtedly will -- you will hear Democrats and Republicans alike do exactly with this effort what the Administration has done with the war in Iraq:

Never accept responsibility.

Even though the punitive efforts associated with the No Child Left Behind Act are exactly the kinds of measures that undermine school success.

And I will be making that argument as clearly and as openly as possible until people start facing up.

I'm starting to realize that the trust that I was feeling work its way through the faculty, today, is based upon a common recognition that the only way that we will all get through this miserable experience is if we start doing this work for all of the noblest reasons. And fuck George Bush, Ted Kennedy, and the fuckin' No Child Left Behind Act in the meantime.

Fuck them and their demands for results that none of them, noone involved with the school reform discussions -- noone; no exceptions -- know how, with certainty, or have even come close to demonstrating that they know for sure how to produce.

We will be producing results. And George Bush, Ted Kennedy and every single person involved with passing that act will get absolutely zero credit for our work.

Because the truth is that when we do it, we will be doing it despite their impossible demands, not because of them. And they can fuck off if they will be looking for any credit.

You cannot force and threaten your way to progress. And when you try, and progress gets made despite you, noone will be supporting your self-celebrations. You can cheer for yourself all you want. But noone will be giving you credit except for yourself.

Eisenhower is going to succeed. And we will be doing it often despite our district administrators, and local, state, and federal politicians (even as all of these people provide some limited support to our efforts).

And I don't care how much they cheer for themselves. They will not be getting congratulations from me, and I doubt from any of my colleagues. I'm sure they will be paid far better than our faculty. But none of them will be getting credit for our work.

In the meantime, the NCLB (No Child Left Behind Act) just became a much more serious obstacle to success in our school, no matter how much Margaret Spelling, our Secretary of Education, and apologists for this very bad legislation, are defensive about its failures.

This situation just gave me much more substantive reason to swear off any party affiliation. They're not corrupt. They're just all self-centered as the day is long. It's a byproduct of a punitive world and an aggressive political climate.

I cannot feel any loyalty to people who avoid responsibility at the expense of me and my friends, colleagues, and students. I can love them. And pity them. But I will not pretend that they are helping when they are clearly in the way. And I don't give a shit, anymore, what party such arrogance derives from. It's all hubris to me.

As my friend, Earl, said the other day: it's teachers who are the real heroes in the world, these days. In a world obsessed with controlling people in the name of helping them (a theme straight out of Orwell, when anyone would stop to think about it), teachers are the people most committed to education rather than force as the means to improving the world.

Our faculty is being seriously tested in that regard, these days.

And something tells me that we are likely to pass tests that district administrators and politicians never imagined we would face. Because we are about to pass tests that noone ever demanded or forced us to take.

We are about to pass tests that can only be faced by people choosing to be better than their situation.

Love,
Ben

Our potential, good and bad

I'm starting to see, this morning, that what we've been going through at Eisenhower is growing pains.

Teachers not taking responsibility. Kids not taking responsibility. And all kinds of folks loading me up with responsibility to compensate for and blaming me for their failures. People pressuring for procedural issues and for results that I am stretched beyond my limits to provide at this point, even as I am completely in good faith.

It's been really overwhelming the last couple of weeks. It's been so overwhelming that I've been on the verge of quitting for some time now.

But lately, slowly, I've been noticing a change. I've been noticing an adjustment in peoples' direction. And if the adjustment comes out right -- meaning a school where each of us -- teachers, students, etc. -- take more responsibility freely, over and above required minimums, which is the way that too many people operate in the world, and taking on the really big challenges more openly and straightforwardly, then all of this insanity I've put myself through and that I've been put through will be worth it.

Last night, a kid on my special education caseload got first place in his chamber at our Congress tournament. It was a really big deal. And was really humbling for the smartest girl on our team who did not place at this tournament. It was a good experience for both kids and for all the kids, I think.

And I'm feeling caught, right now, between a microcosm of an emerging brilliant world where everyone has a shot at being smart and excelling in school and in life and where we all look after one another that I'm seeing on my speech and debate team and in some classes and the chaos of a world where kids and adults only look after themselves and everyone gets left behind, as a consequence, and where I'm always feeling caught in the crossfire.

As I say this, I'm listening to Rosemary Dugan give this really great lesson in her family advocacy class about kids imagining a better quality of life and being better people, the role that education plays in those dreams, and the need for us to trust one another to make those dreams reality.

I think, perhaps, our folks in our school are going through the growing pains of learning to trust one another.

It never occurred to me that this was something that my teachers and adults didn't do, growing up. But I'm learning that many, many adults don't trust one another or younger people or others in the world around them. They've been burned. They've been hurt. They've been scared. And they've learned to stop trusting.

That's what Maslow meant when he talked about the flyer with the photo with babies on one side and of adults on a subway on the other.

What babies have that too many adults lose is their capacity to trust the world.

Obviously we can all have our trust taken advantage of. We not only can have our trust taken advantage of. We do. Regularly. And that's what leaves us so mistrustful.

But we can't function in this world without trust. We can't function always wondering if we are the ones who are going to be left behind. Because, truth be told, it's not just kids in special education who are afraid of being left behind. It's all of us. No matter how smart or decent or worthy.

And if we want to be able to function in this world, we're going to have to learn to trust one another. And earn the trust of one another.

And to the extent that we fail to do that, life for all of us -- everyone; all of humanity -- will continue to be the giant mess that we've all created today.

And that mess will not be cleaned up by creating more rules or laws. That mess will only be cleaned up by everyone acting with stronger conscience in the face of their freedom do what they choose, good or bad.

We are living in a time of self-awareness of our capacity for free will, good and bad. And our saving grace is that our self-awareness makes us aware of the consequences of choosing against our consciences as well as choosing to abide our consciences.

And both choices have consequences for us to learn from.

And it is the learning from which humanity will thrive.

Love,
Ben