Our potential, good and bad

I'm starting to see, this morning, that what we've been going through at Eisenhower is growing pains.

Teachers not taking responsibility. Kids not taking responsibility. And all kinds of folks loading me up with responsibility to compensate for and blaming me for their failures. People pressuring for procedural issues and for results that I am stretched beyond my limits to provide at this point, even as I am completely in good faith.

It's been really overwhelming the last couple of weeks. It's been so overwhelming that I've been on the verge of quitting for some time now.

But lately, slowly, I've been noticing a change. I've been noticing an adjustment in peoples' direction. And if the adjustment comes out right -- meaning a school where each of us -- teachers, students, etc. -- take more responsibility freely, over and above required minimums, which is the way that too many people operate in the world, and taking on the really big challenges more openly and straightforwardly, then all of this insanity I've put myself through and that I've been put through will be worth it.

Last night, a kid on my special education caseload got first place in his chamber at our Congress tournament. It was a really big deal. And was really humbling for the smartest girl on our team who did not place at this tournament. It was a good experience for both kids and for all the kids, I think.

And I'm feeling caught, right now, between a microcosm of an emerging brilliant world where everyone has a shot at being smart and excelling in school and in life and where we all look after one another that I'm seeing on my speech and debate team and in some classes and the chaos of a world where kids and adults only look after themselves and everyone gets left behind, as a consequence, and where I'm always feeling caught in the crossfire.

As I say this, I'm listening to Rosemary Dugan give this really great lesson in her family advocacy class about kids imagining a better quality of life and being better people, the role that education plays in those dreams, and the need for us to trust one another to make those dreams reality.

I think, perhaps, our folks in our school are going through the growing pains of learning to trust one another.

It never occurred to me that this was something that my teachers and adults didn't do, growing up. But I'm learning that many, many adults don't trust one another or younger people or others in the world around them. They've been burned. They've been hurt. They've been scared. And they've learned to stop trusting.

That's what Maslow meant when he talked about the flyer with the photo with babies on one side and of adults on a subway on the other.

What babies have that too many adults lose is their capacity to trust the world.

Obviously we can all have our trust taken advantage of. We not only can have our trust taken advantage of. We do. Regularly. And that's what leaves us so mistrustful.

But we can't function in this world without trust. We can't function always wondering if we are the ones who are going to be left behind. Because, truth be told, it's not just kids in special education who are afraid of being left behind. It's all of us. No matter how smart or decent or worthy.

And if we want to be able to function in this world, we're going to have to learn to trust one another. And earn the trust of one another.

And to the extent that we fail to do that, life for all of us -- everyone; all of humanity -- will continue to be the giant mess that we've all created today.

And that mess will not be cleaned up by creating more rules or laws. That mess will only be cleaned up by everyone acting with stronger conscience in the face of their freedom do what they choose, good or bad.

We are living in a time of self-awareness of our capacity for free will, good and bad. And our saving grace is that our self-awareness makes us aware of the consequences of choosing against our consciences as well as choosing to abide our consciences.

And both choices have consequences for us to learn from.

And it is the learning from which humanity will thrive.

Love,
Ben