A life non-political...

My principal just announced a new get-tough-on-drugs policy she's adopting...an issue on which I am completely, without a shadow-of-a-doubt clear getting tough is unequivocably counterproductive for all the things that people say that care about...

And I'm thinking about maybe choosing a non-political life, of some kind...

Teaching is definitely one of the more political careers I've been a part of...

And I'm thinking that maybe I should get into a scientific career of some kind...something meaningful but more low-key... I just get tired of the disappointment in watching us constantly taking backward steps on issues...without much thought about what takes us forward...

I have much to write on important policy issues...but I'm just not all that convinced that anyone agrees or is terribly interested...and there's just not much use in being an obscure academic if you're wrong...it only makes sense to do that kind of work if you're right...if you know what you're doing...I think I do...but if it's all just for naught because we stubbornly cling to policies no matter how counterproductive they might be or if somehow someone has some persuasive arguments for why they are productive that I've just not heard yet, then I begin to think that it might be better to just do something where I can be more productive...

I'm tired...it's been a long week...

And I'm tired of fighting battles where no meaningful discussion takes place...where the constant refrain is "Getting tough is good because it's not soft" or "not naive" or whatever stupid fuckin' new excuse people have for why it hasn't worked up till this point...

I'm tired of having a discussion where people can't be honest about the failures of their policies because the policy has become more of a sacred cow than the solution to the problems the policy was meant to create...

Maybe I can find something cerebral where I can stay away from people...who really kind of fuck up their own and each others' lives plenty enough to need my help, I think, most of the time...

I've got to get some sleep...

Have a good week, everyone...

Ben

Exhausted...

It's the last week of school...and maybe the most exhausting weeks in my entire life...the kids have been out of control (though they've been better today)...I'm tired and sore and out of patience, right now...

And I'm wondering why I do any of this work, today...

Why do I take a stand of conscience and out of just being more seriously thoughtful for the use of the least possible necessary force or least possible necessary aggression around a whole host of issues that is so unpopular in so many circles?...

Why do I work on behalf of kids and parents who are perpetually ungrateful and take the opportunity of education so for granted the way they do?...

Why do I set myself up to be thought of as "soft," which is code for "unmanly" or "not tough enough," neither of which is there any satisfaction for and neither of which are genuine concerns about anything except how people are perceived...

When I think about it, the biggest reason is because the idea that arguments would be won by intimidation and muscle rather than by a genuine concern for truth and better ideas is just repugnant to me...and should be to everyone...except many if not most people would rather get their way, often, than subject their opinions to a more genuinely open-ended discussion and debate about whether they are good or the best ideas or not...

And because that way of engaging arguments and ideas just seems cowardly to me...and I just can't stand for cowardice...no matter how tired and worn out I might be...

I can hardly believe, really, that such cowardice gets confused so readily with more genuine courage...

But then Melissa and I rented Lord of the Flies, last night...
And I was reminded of just how easily people are fooled into believing that tough equals good...

And I just look over the course of history...to see all the places...where force justified by the need to be tough rationalized all of the worst attrocities of the 20th century, alone, if not the history of humanity...

And I think...someone has got to have a conscience amidst that kind of rationalizing...

But right now I just want some sleep...and for this first year to be over with as soon as possible:):)...

Have a great week, everyone:):)...

Love,
Ben