The harder they fall...the more difficult it is to learn the lesson...

I had a really difficult experience in school, today...

That reinforced a very important lesson for me...

The reason to soften a blow...

Is because the harder someone falls...typically...in my experience...

The more difficult it is for them to learn whatever lessons need to be learned...

We just had a really great conversation, today, about why all people both resist and need some sort of authority...and why some kids, in particular, have a harder time with authority than others...and how to better facilitate conversations that lead everyone -- but especially those who struggle with authority most -- to respect authority...even when you disagree with it (and even when you want to change it, as I and I'm sure many people want to do, always...in fact...as much as anything...I want to change peoples' general relationship with authority, turning to it only when they absolutely need it...to intervene with current violence and prevent future violence (and only then when it is necessary)...and at no other time...everything else being compromise, I think...and finding ways to be grownups dealing with difficult matters of life without always turning to authority...and legal and political and economic and military armtwisting to get our way...especially when it clearly has the opposite or worse consequences than we expected (and could expect with less coercive alternatives)...

And today I had reinforced for me why such armtwisting is so counterproductive...not only because it means bullying our way through issues that need to be decided on their merits...

But because it undermines itself, eventually...because people not only stop respecting and trusting authority that armtwists and deceives its way through matters (hence the credibility problems the Administration faces now and has faced now for some time)...

But because it makes it harder...in situations where authority is used for a good cause...for the people involved to learn the lesson...

Campaign finance reform is both the highest level of hypocrisy on this that I can think of...and where this last point is most obvious...

Is anyone under any illusion that pursuing Tom Delay has substantively advanced the cause of campaign finance reform -- that is a good cause as a matter of example, that Bill Bradley, for one, set a high standard on in 2000...but which all his colleagues just look like recalcitrant hyporcrits on since they go after Republicans with the very same skeletons in their own closets...pretending all the while that the matter is on principle when it is very clearly and without a doubt political -- I hope not...because if you think that anyone has been persuaded of the need to have ideas rather than money or power animate elections out of this whole deal...you are living in a fantasy world...

Even though Tom Delay is clearly a power-monger who used money to hog up all that power...

It's just that fighting that battle legally has just put Republicans on the defensive (and Democrats, too, to be honest...do you hear any Democrats talking honestly, at this point, about how both parties are guilty of what Tom Delay is accused of in Texas?...of course not...they don't want to go to jail...does it make it less true that Democrats are as guilty as Republicans on the things Tom Delay is accused of?...obviously not, to anyone who knows anything about this issue)...

And that story...the story of the failure of campaign finance reform laws...

Is the story of humanity...

The harder we try to take someone down...

The more difficult it is for them to learn the lesson...

And the reason why it is so easy to stick by my guns on this...

Is that I'm not advocating for anything, really...

Except that we recognize it better...

So we can stop making the same stupid mistakes around it...

Denying the failure that I'm talking about...pretending like it doesn't exist...

Whether it be campaign finance laws...or gun control...or drug laws...or No Child Left Behind...or the Individuals with Disabilities Act...

Or anywhere where authority is used where it both isn't the best solution...

And where it often interferes with the substantive conversation that needs to take place to get to better solutions...

As, sadly...is more often the case in politics, many times...is the rule, so to speak...rather than the exception...

Authority is respected, more...where people value it...as a matter of self-governance...as a matter of an internalized appreciation of the spirit of the law...of the aspirations of the wiser uses of authority...

And in the meantime...authority gets used in a lot of arbitrary, petty ways...that have nothing to do with doing good...

And today...reflecting on my own experiences...and reflecting on the failure of a colleague to come to terms with some pretty clear failures on her part that are recognized widely by her colleagues...but which she, herself, is thoroughly oblivious to...

And realizing just how much this colleague's life is run on fear...fear of what others think...fear of getting in trouble...fear of parents...fear of students...fear of fellow teachers...fear of administrators...fear of failure...and fear of life outside of school...

It just seems to so sad to me...just what a waste of one's life it is to be so afraid of life...of the world...

And when I think of all of the challenges I've faced in my own life...

I'll always remember that this is the virtue of my lie that I must always appreciate the most...

Everything I do...I do it because it's the right thing to do...and no other reason...because I choose my life...I am not afraid...

And in the context of that freedom...I choose a far more responsible life...than most people ever even aspire to...

That is a life I wish for others, as well...

But it is a virtue of my own life that I always have to remember...when I struggle to remember why I chose this life...as I did this afternoon...

I was tired of being afraid...especially when I was so clearly in good faith...

I hope others are tired of being afraid, too...so they can give up the fear...

But if they don't...

My life as I've lived it...is worth it...for that reason...if for no other...

When I was in grad school...

I would listen to Tom...my advisor, and professor...speak passionately in class...about how everyone was always out of compliance with this and such law...disability law was generally what we were talking about, since it was special education...

And would listen to Tom go on and on (as he had a tendency to do) about how the world was always coming to an end with everyone out of compliance...even as Tom, himself, was the master circumventer of university and grant rules and regulations...always bobbing and weaving his way through university rules...often for good reason...

And reading Tom Skrtic's work is like reading one long excuse for why schools could never really improve themselves...except in Tom's world...the sky was always falling as they failed to...

Rather than life being one long road of trying to figure out...how to accomplish the goals that we want and need to accomplish...

It is true that the stakes are high in policy...that's why we call it policy...it would reach our level of attention if the stakes weren't high...but we will survive...as we persistently do...through our failures...until we develop more successful ideas for dealing with the challenges in front of us...

I guarantee...

That you could pass a law...against terrorism...today...

And there would still be terrorism tomorrow...

Guaranteed...

Because only works...when it works...which is not nearly as often as advocates of various laws would like to believe...

It only works...

Based on the good faith efforts of average citizens to fulfill the spirit of the law...as they struggle to understand its purposes...and probably not really able to fulfill the spirit of the law...until they more fully understand its purposes...

I listened to Judge Samuel Alito's very eloquent remarks, today...about America being a place where noone -- no matter how powerful -- was above the law...

And what an important bedrock for America and democracy that principle was/is...

And recognize why people who take democracy seriously...take that principle so seriously, because of how important it was/is in distinguishing a fundamental of democracy...

...of equality...equality before the law...and before our fellow citizens...

But I also recognize...

That we must accept the realities of the shortcomings of that principle...as it confronts a real world...that doesn't always fall within the law...and often for good reason...

Since the law so clearly conflicts with the other much more important principle of that American Revolution...

Independence...and freedom...and peoples' need to independently develop their own ideas of what to do with that freedom...to be more responsible citizens...and people...and neighbors...

And the openness that democracy creates...for people to develop those ideas over time...

And not staticly...and stubbornly...attach more significance to those laws...than they really deserve...

Ultimately...democracy is to allow people to develop a more independent conscience...a more independent and self-governed sense of themselves...

And anything that frustrates that...

Will always fall short of the reality of a world where people do good...for its own sake...

I love hearing Christians rationalize...as I have this weekend...talking with a preacher walking through our neighborhood...and talking with a janitor at our school, here...that being good is not the important thing...it's accepting Jesus Christ into your heart...

As if somehow Eric Rudolph can accept Jesus, blow up abortion clinics and gay clubs, and be saved...

But Mohatma Ghandi or Elie Wiesel or a million other great non-Christians...

Are all going to hell:):):)LOL:):):)...

As if being good for its own sake...

Was something you could circumvent...

By just believing in the right Messiah...

There's no way around this one...

Being a good person for its own sake...

Is the only thing that counts in this world, really...

Everything else is just bullshit...

No matter which way you cut it...

And I've heard it cut a million different ways...

And they're all just a million different ways...to cut the same bullshit...

And always will be...for time immemorial...

Until we take the business...of people taking being good seriouslly...for its own sake...and for no other reason...seriously enough...to make it a reality...

And until then...my example...will be of someone who took it seriously...whether and how others rationalize their ugliness...or not...

And the biggest benefit that comes from living that life...

Is that someday...I get to spend the rest of my life...with someone I really trust...just like I trust myself...

And today, I learned a little bit better...to trust myself a little bit more...because I just won't live my life...any other way...

Have a great day, everyone:):):)...

Love,
Ben