I'm thinking about quitting

Today was an insane day. I have a fellow special education teacher who is seriously undermining me. And I just can't handle the bullshit, anymore. She doesn't give a shit about the kids, really. She only cares about herself. And she's become a serious pain in my ass. And I just think that maybe what my school needs is for me to move out of the way and let people like this teacher lead the way.

You know what the truth is about why inner city schools are so notoriously bad? You want to know why so many problems in the world go unresolved?

Because people don't really give enough of a shit, is why.

And noone wants to face up to that.

You know why we don't have a commitment to universal health care coverage in the U.S? Because people don't really care enough.

You know why power and wealth equity issues are still not taken very seriously by most of the world? Because people really don't give enough of a shit.

You know why we don't have a peace agreement in the Middle East or why the Administration hasn't figured out better ideas for handling Iraq or why they can't seem to face the failure of their policies in Iraq or North Korea or why their opponents can't seem to face up to the fact that they're pressuring and strong-arming the administration has failed so miserably?

Because people don't really give a shit.

Not really.

Because if they did they would look more seriously at the clear and plain reality that strong-arming our way to those goals has failed, and change course. But they are more committed to their strong-arming and the power than they are to resolving those issues.

There's plenty of that problem in any career, and with far too much of the world, in general. And there's plenty of that in suburban schools and private schools and all kinds of other schools that have better reputations.

But most of the people I work with just don't really give enough of a shit. Most of the parents don't give enough of a shit. And many of the kids (though I have become close with a lot of exceptions to this rule) do not give enough of a shit.

The truth is that about most things that matter...

Most people care more about themselves and about covering their asses and about looking good and about looking after their own wants and needs than they do about resolving the important problems.

The truth is that most of us just don't really give a shit.

And then we wonder why shit is all fucked up.

And I am tired of being taken for granted.

I work harder than most people. I confront realities more fully. I think about issues more seriously (which significance really is the big issue that a lot of people dont want to face). I'm more selfless.

And most people are just kind of dicks, really. They're constantly looking after themselves, covering their own asses, acting as selfish as they want to, and then acting like it really doesn't matter.

And right now, we are a huge mess. We are all acting like such dicks and acting like it doesn't matter.

And maybe, I'm thinking, I just need to leave people who don't care enough to their own devices.

The kids, now, really are my most serious point of connection.

But I can't do it with the kids, alone.

I need staff who support me. I need a team committed to doing a good job and trying hard. And most people, these days, are just being dicks. And they just don't want to face up.

And I'm just tired of pretending like people are being better than they are.

Everyone is covering their ass, these days.

And I just don't know why I care so much when others really don't.

It's such a discouraging reality to face about the world and about people and about schools.

And the current political moment has everything to do with it.

You threaten people all the time, people start to look after their own rear ends and stop thinking so much about helping one another.

And we just can't face it.

And I just want to escape and spend time with more people who care more about life and what they do.

I am tired of people constantly forcing my hand because they just can't face being wrong.

I am extremely good at what I do. And I thinking about quitting my profession because I just can't handle people holding me back, anymore, because they just can't face that they are wrong. And that all too many people give a shit about is themselves.

Love,
Ben