You ever get the feeling that people want to fail?

I finally decided, today...that some people, I'm growing convinced...just maybe want to fail...or maybe just to find enough excuses for why they didn't pursue success...

It makes me much more realistic about what we can achieve in schools...

I can do everything I can to set as many kids up, as possible, to succeed...but...ultimately...either they'll chase their dreams...with all the bumps and bruises, as much as the great parts of that journey...or they won't...

And I just create as many conditions, as possible, to make that a possibility...

Today, I had my first evaluation with my principal...everything went great...I told her about the efforts we've made to improve expectations for all students, including special education students, for behavior and academics...and the success we've had with it...along with the frustrations...

My principal is the person, other than me, with the highest expectations for students in the building...

And even she doesn't really have the highest expectations for students, sometimes...

The one really sour note in the meeting...was that somehow...that in the midst of the argument that the counselor and I had about the I.E.P. meeting I was in...the fact that I told her in a later private meeting that she was bullshitting me -- which I think she was, in retrospect -- about whether she was impugning a decision I had made with a kid earlier in the day to send him out of the room after a series of events that she was just not privy to, frankly -- the word "bullshit" got around to the principal...

And I realized...that if I have someone on my hands who's a tattle-tale...this is not someone I should trust...nor do I...if it was the counselor who passed on my comment...I was talking to someone I thought was a friend...and, as I told Dr. Ogburn...if she's not a friend...then there's no reason for me to talk with her like she is...

After that meeting...we had a S.I.T. meeting -- which basically means we were deciding if he should get special education help or not -- for a student...

And as I sat around this table...with so many bullheaded people...thinking that they were "right" about what was going on with this kid...this kid who was having conflict with some teachers, some of which the teachers are responsible for, I think...but the burden of the education being on the student, ultimately, fair or not...

I realized...that there was no way for me to move this entire school...or district...or even education, generally, necessarily...

I can put the ideas out there...and either people will run with them or they won't...just like with the kids...

And in the meantime...my identity is no longer...at any level...as a teacher...as a thinker...as a person...

...wrapped up in whether or not people pick up those ideas or not...

I have a life...separate from teaching...separate from thinking...separate from anything professional...

Which is all my own...

And where I could give two shits if people like my ideas...like my contributions...like my accomplishments...or even like me...or not...

I have a life that is my own...

And after I make these two calls...I'm going to go enjoy it, a little:):)...

Have a great day, everyone:):)...

Love,
Ben