Do you know what I miss?

From an email I wrote to Melissa, today:

"Do you know what I miss, Melissa? You what feels missing every day of my life and has felt missing for more than 5 years, now?

A feeling of inspiration because people around me feel similarly inspired.

That's what's gotten better at school. People seem to be taking the job as seriously and caring about the kids closer to the very genuine concern that I have for them.

That was the feeling I had when Brandi and I were together that I miss so badly. Working on something important with someone who cares about it as much as I do and with whom I can share my passion and enthusiasm. I haven't felt that in a long time. And it feels missing every day of my life that I don't have it.

It's something I can't do on my own, I'm learning. It's something either you share with someone else or you don't. I miss it. And I live for it when it's around. And no amount of money can replace it."

It is awesome and amazing what two young people can kindle that together when they don't have the cynicism of older adults weighing them down.

That's the feeling I miss in my life more than any other. If I could have that feeling again, I wouldn't give two shits about anything else: money, prestige, influence, fame.

Nothing else matters when you feel that kind of love.

I have to hope it's out there. Because it would be a tragedy if no woman had the courage or love in her to step up to the plate and experience that kind of love and inspiration.

No matter how much of the other stuff I might come by, life will seem empty if I don't have that kind of love again.

It's the only thing worthy of my life. And love.

Love,
Ben