I think I'm beginning to understand why the life and the democratic marketplace get so skewed

Smart is not popular. Neither is love, necessarily. And mass appeal is the key to money and power.

And the truth is that so many people, if not most people, are kind of heartsick, lost in all kinds of cynicism and hurt and pain. Most serious issues that affect our lives are matters of the heart. That's why Maslow is a much better person to reflect on the larger issues in the world than so many political observers. Because he understood this better. And because he understood, better, that matters of the heart are best addressed with the heart, not with power.

But most people don't take matters of the heart nearly serious enough, I don't think. Because it hurts. And escaping is so much easier for so many people.

So ambitious people who want to stay close to money and power play to the lowest common denominator, providing every means of escape that people might need. Whether its smart or loving or not.

And hence a world distorted by our obsession with what's popular and thus brings the money and power.

Popular fades and changes quickly. And clever, ambitious people follow those trends to keep up with the money and power. Because the obsession with money and power seems to compensate for the dissappointment with a world full of pain and its many, many sources than does coming to terms with that disappointment.

And generally people who take this path, and all of us, really, lose track of themselves and ourselves in the process.

You know what the most important reason for me not to follow those trends is? Outside of wanting to do work that actually does some good, at some point, whether it's popular or not?

Because I don't want to lose track of myself. And that's worth a lot more to me than any money or power.

And I want to spend my time with friends and family and a woman and kids who don't lose track of themselves. Because money and power is not where they are centered (my parents and some of my immediate family have some work to do in this regard, but they're getting better).

That's the best reason to teach where I teach, to do the work I do, to make the chump change I make, to do the writing that noone reads (that noone reads yet, I can only hope) and to care about a lot of stuff that most people either don't care about or take for granted, generally.

Because it keeps me honest.

As much as I actually like most people and pop culture and pop music and keep up with popular trends as much as the next person, I'd rather be honest, and know my shit stinks just like everyone else, than I would be close to all that money and power and mass appeal any day of the week.

It matters more to me to be myself than it does to get credit or the rewards. Because no credit or rewards that I have ever gotten in my life have been more important than that. One of the advantages of getting a lot of both early on in life, I suppose. But mostly just a function of caring more about me than about how people think about me. And knowing that the latter is a sad and lonely way to live.

And knowing that I'll only ever find someone who really loves me for me if I can be myself, more often than not, in their presence. And that I can only love my wife and kids and friends and family, for real, when I love myself enough, for real, that I'm willing to embrace who I am over pretending to be something else for others.

And that is the secret to a happy life. No question about that in my mind, at this point.

Good guys finish last because they keep their focus on doing good, and not on rigging the game in their favor.

But good people finish first in all the things that matter most. And that is why they are the folks from which progress flows.

Love,
Ben