Knowing your own shit stinks

I have lesson plans and grading to do.

But I wanted to write for a moment on the nature of humility.

As a young adult, I've come to learn that humility is a quality that you don't come by abstractly. People who have humility for real get it by screwing up, by being arrogant and having to face themselves and their limitations.

Humility is not some notch in the belt of perfection. That's called pride. It's the opposite of humility, actually.

Real humility and real virtue and decency, from that, comes from knowing that your shit stinks. Because you've fucked up and you've faced up.

The older I get, the more important I realize it is to spend as much time as possible with this kind of decency and real humility. The older I get, the more I realize it's probably more important than other virtues, if for no other reason that it means dealing with someone who knows their own and others' limitations and their more prone to accept you for yours' as much as always trying to improve you.

That's probably the reason why I am closer with the my dad's family than with the my mom's family, as much as I am becoming closer with my mom's family, lately.

You just have people in your life that you can trust more that when when your shit is stinking that they will love you for it and despite it and not hold it against you.

And generally, the people with this kind of real humility and virtue come by it because they know their own shit stinks. And so they're not trying to prove to you and everyone else just how righteous and virtuous they are all the time.

Fucking up, paradoxically and counterintuitively, I think, can actually make us better people, I think. It means exploring our limits and figuring out our weaknesses and limitations as a human being. And it leads us to accept better the weaknesses and limitations of others, as well.

And I want to spend the bulk of my life with people who know their shit stinks. And more importantly I want to spend my life with a woman who knows her shit stinks and doesn't have to constantly prove to me or to herself otherwise.

Love,
Ben