What I want more than anything else, right now

I want someone to be nice to me.

I want a nice girl to spend quality time with. I want to go down to Wichita and hang out at the River Festival, maybe.

I want to spend some relaxing time with someone who is more interested in being decent than in being right. I like debates about important issues. And my experience is that the people who feel most comfortable with debating and arguing openly are the most sensitive and decent of the people I know.

And I want a girl like that to spend some quality time with. Lay in bed and talk about nothing. And everything. Watch a movie. Take a roadtrip. Bitch about my lousy, stressful day with someone who can be a good listener and give me a hug and not lecture me about knowing what I got myself into. Long, deep kisses with someone more passionate about being in love and about how people are doing than about any other self-righteous cause.

I want some kindness from a girl who treats everyone decently, so that I know that I can count on her treating me decently, more often than not.

If you make me choose between nice and smart, I'll choose nice, because I'd rather have someone be decent to me than someone I can verbally spar with. I'm afraid I will never really feel close to someone unless she is nice and smart and have a little courage in the world, though. Because I need someone who understands the slings and arrows of my life to be able to have any reasonable level of empathy.

I want a nice girl, because I've had quite enough of a people being rough with me. I think everyone has, no matter how tough they might be.

I want someone to be nice to me. Because having people be jaded or mean or calloused just doesn't get me out of bed in the morning. And it certainly doesn't put me to bed at night.

Love,
Ben