Do you ever wonder if people have consciences?...

I do...

I don't know why I'm so morose, today...

But this is on my mind...

I do wonder what friendship and family mean to some people, much of the time...if it means anything...

And in moments like this...

I wonder if anything means anything...

I don't really know who I trust anymore...

That isn't true...you get a sense of it...who you can trust more and who you trust less...

I just trust less, today, a lot of people I used to trust more...

And I can't make heads or tails of it, anymore...

Even whether it matters, anymore...

Or what matters anymore...

I guess this is it...

I sure hope not...

Because it's a pretty shitty way stopping point on the road to a greater humanity...

No...I just think I'll let all the bitterness go...

All my bitterness about peoples' indifference...about their callousness...about their pretending...

I think I'll just let it go...

Nothing I can do to make people be decent...

And my bitterness just holds me back...

I think there's some people who actually think that if they pretend long enough...their shittiness will be forgotten...

Pretty wishful thinking, don't you think?...

It amazes me how much bullshit people will swim in...and still they come out of the pool clean...

I just need to let go of this shit...it's no good for me...or for anyone...

I'm sick...I'm going to bed...

Love,
Ben