A hard talk with myself...

I'm still dealing with this bitterness I just realized the other day that I still carry around...

This bitterness about choices involved with being a teacher...

Here goes...

Being a teacher is a real honor, for me...at some level...it means a lot to take the kind of responsibility is involved with imparting knowledge...and there is a sense of purpose in it and with those who do it that makes it a much better profession to be a part of than most professions, by my judgment...it's very much like being a soldier, or a police officer, or other kinds of less-well-paid public servants who do what they do because they want to do good and not for other reasons...

But when you do it...and you deal with as many different kinds of people as I do...you also think...

"Why don't people value school more?"...meaning...why don't the dumbasses whose lives are most in need of serious learning...why do they take it so much for granted?...and why do they so foolishly fail to see their own self-interest on this?...and why do so many of their children fall into the same mistake?...and how can it be made more plain for them just how foolish they're being?...

"Why, persistently, do the great works and the great music and the great ideas in the world always get so consistently rewarded less than those that provide more immediate gratification?"...the answer to this one is obvious, which is that most people are kind of dumbasses...and popular culture reflects their ignorance, much of the time...we all are, at some level...but some are clearly more dumbass than others...

And intellectual depth is just kind of rare, really...more rare than I ever imagined, I think...

I guess what scares me and concerns me about that is asking myself the same question that a lot of my less intellectually-oriented friends ask themselves...

Then why is it important?...

And I guess the answer to that...is just because you don't see the reality as thoroughly or as completely or with as much depth...

That doesn't make it go away...

Meaning...

Just because you don't understand the principles of physics that go into motion or the principles of chemistry that go into the various materials people use...

Doesn't mean that that understanding isn't important...

It just means that it's rarer to meet someone who understands those principles than it is to find someone who does...

And the same is true of people, I think...

When I think about it that way....it isn't something I have to be frustrated with people about as much (though most people are pretty arrogant about what they know and what they don't know about people and what makes them tick)...

It's just that most people don't really have much clue, really...

I'm really sick...I've got to get home, soon, and get some sleep...one more day before I have some time to really power up before the next semester...

Have a great week, everyone...

Love,
Ben