A general apology...

Hey, y'all:):)...

Hope everyone's doing well:):)...it's been a down weekend, really...I've kind of blue about some of my observations and feelings about how base political conversation has gotten, lately...and how I've been treated by some folks over the course of that...

Just been feeling kind of numb, really, this weekend:):)...

Lots of movies, this weekend:):):)...

Angels in America:):):)...a great rendition of both of Tony Kushner's brilliant scripts:):):)...

Prozac Nation:):):)...a really nice movie-version of Elizabeth Wurtzel's story of being overwhelmed by the pressures of Ivy League education and writing for the national press:):):)...

And Six Feet Under:):):)...always a good time:):):)...

I just wanted to take a moment to give a general apology...

For being kind of condescending, too much of the time, around political questions...

I was just talking with Melissa about this, today...

I get frustrated, sometimes...that...I feel like I work with a standard that is...there's no other way to really say it...it's just a higher standard than most people are familiar with, I think...

There was a situation that came up, today, that illustrated the point, I thought...

Melissa and I were shopping for books at the local annual public library sale, today:):)...

We happened across this Applied Ethics book...that I ended up buying:):)...

There was this John Stuart Mill argument in favor of the death penalty in it...I oppose the death penalty...and I disagreed with Mill's arguments...though I did think it was one of the most comprehensive critiques of both an anti-death-penalty position that I had read...and of my general thesis -- that dealing with difficult matters of public policy with punishment rather than with a more constructive, forward-looking approach that has more integrity and honesty with and to all the people involved...including trangressors...is the far less effective means of dealing with such matters -- by definition, in a sense...but also substantially -- than is an approach that seeks to punish and hurt people to deal with those same issues...

So I picked it up:):)...and if you want a copy of what I think is the best critique of that general thesis:):):)...I highly suggest it:):)...

It's called Speech in Favour of Capital Punishment (1868)...it's in Peter Singer's Applied Ethics book (Singer edits it...it's original documents from other authors, as well as Singer:):)...put out by the Oxford University Press...1986:):):)...great book...especially around life and death issues...abortion...euthanasia...capital punishment...

And though Mill is my single favorite 19th Century philosopher...and perhaps of all time (John Dewey is right up there with him:):):)...

I just think Mill is wrong about this one...I think his argument is an excellent abstract argument for his case...but I think the realities of punishment and capital punishment work differently that Mill assumes -- and most people assume, I think -- in his argument:):)...

Melissa and I were talking about the argument...

And I was recalling another argument that Mill wrote that I read when I was an undergraduate:):)...that argued that slaves could not choose slavery...

At the time...I thought it was a brilliant argument:):)...

Mill was arguing that slaves couldn't choose slavery...because their choosing of slavery would leave them with no freedom to choose otherwise:):):)...

Now...as a definite opponent of slavery:):):)...

I thought...what a great argument:):):)...obviously slaves lose their freedom to choose otherwise...should they choose slavery:):):)...

But then today...as Melissa and I were talking about it:):)...

I thought...

While I clearly agree that slavery is wrong -- which was Mill's central argument, of course:):):)...

I think...now...when I'm not trying to just defend his argument...and when I think about it in a more realistic context -- which is the standard I work with, now, after a policy graduate education...

That Mill is factually wrong about that argument...even while I support it's intent:):)...

Meaning...

A slave actually CAN choose their own slavery:):)...AND they lose their freedom to choose, should they make that choice...which is a great argument against slavery as an institution...because it binds someone to an agreement out of which they can't be unbound...

But in reality...it's similar to choosing to die...

If you commit suicide...or if you choose to be euthanized...

You can't come back after it takes place...

But you can still choose to do it:):)...

It's just a bad choice:):):)...

Which is Mill's general thesis on slavery, I think:):)...and which is the reason that he and most modern day folks want/ed it abolished:):)...

And my thinking about that argument has changed...

Because my thinking about the world, generally, has changed...as I was held and held myself to a higher and higher standard of accountability on policy questions...based on their realities...not just on what outcome that I preferred:):):)...

Meaning...

It wasn't good enough...and it's not good enough, frankly...in policy circles...to argue that "such and such" is the way the world should be...

You also need to square your view of the way the world should be...

With the way that the world is...especially in its more fundamental ways...

This isn't a cynical outlook...

It doesn't mean that you accept bad situations...

It just means that you look at bad situations...

And figure out the most likely way to make them better...given more persistent and fundamental realities:):):)...and...our forever limited understanding of those more persistent and fundamental realities:):):)...

There's quite a bit more to it, I think...

I just want to take a moment...and apologize...

Because...the truth is...that most people...including me, for most of my life...don't hold themselves to that kind of standard when it comes to these kinds of discussions...

And over the last couple of days...especially after that discussion with Melissa...and after coming across in an internet search this terribly angry letter that I wrote back in grad school to this writer, Richard Poe, of Frontpage Magazine:):):)...

I realized just how much I've changed...over the years:):)...and especially out of my policy grad school education:):):)...

And how unfair it is to hold people to that kind of standard...

And how condescending it is to do say a lot of the things I've said given how different an expectation that is for most people...

I've just been frustrated, I think...with how out of control, in my view, the country has gotten...liberal...conservative...radical right...radical left...with political arguments and discussion...and...much more importantly...how we treat one another over the course of those discussions...

And I just feel bad that I've acted like everyone is supposed to know this stuff...

Or that somehow I'm some kind of final arbitrer on these matters...which I clearly am not...and have no place asserting or pretending to be...

It's an arrogant assertion...that's I've tried to avoid...but I don't think I have completely...frustrated that people often hold themselves to such a low standard...and my feeling that people often ignore the higher standard...as if it really doesn't mean anything...which it clearly does...to anyone who is more familiar with it:):):)...

It's definitely not my intent...

And usually...when it happens...it's just me feeling hurt...or feeling angry...about how I feel like I'm being treated in some conversation...

I'm just a guy...I'm not an angel...or some kind of wise man...

I'm just a guy who makes a lot of mistakes like everyone else, really...

And this one is one that I've tried like mad to avoid...

But which I just haven't been able to, I'm afraid...both because I'm human...but also because this blog is one of my main sources for venting all those bad feelings...as much as writing about my thoughts on important issues...

And because political conversations have just gotten more heated and cynical in the last five or years or so than I remember than being in earlier years...

Maybe because I was in a university setting for 12 years before the last couple of years...

But even there they were getting pretty bad the last time I spent a lot of time on a university campus...

And because I'm just human...and it's hard not to react...no matter how hard I try to be as decent as possible...

I watched this episode of Six Feet Under, tonight:):)...

Ruth -- the mom of the family -- gets married to George -- this very good and very decent geology professor:):)...

And the family is treating George like SHI-ITE:):):)...I mean major shit:):):)...even though George is a really good guy...I think, at least:):):)...

And George is doing his best to be a decent guy about the whole thing:):):)...

But in one conversation with Arthur, the funeral home's intern:):)...

George is kind of condescending:):)...in a conversation in his specialty...geology:):)...which..it turns out:):)...he was wrong about:):)...at least according to Arthur's source:):)...

But the larger issue for George:):)...is that he keeps getting treated like shit:):):)...by everyone in the house:):):)...

And I watched that:):):)...

And I thought:):):)...

I see myself in that:):):)...

And no matter why...or how it happens:):):)...

It's bullshit:):):)...no excuses:):):)...

So anyway...I just wanted to apologize...

I've been feeling like shit...

But that doesn't give any liscense to treat anyone else like shit...period...

I hope everyone's doing well:):):)...

Talk with everyone soon, I hope:):):)...

Love,
Ben