One way to help with Hurricane Katrina...

I've been really disappointed with all the carping, blaming, and other irresponsible nonsense going on during this hurricane response in the Southeast...

Newt Gingrich and Fareed Zakaria had a really constructive conversation this morning on This Week with George Stephanopolous about future government emergency responses...Fareed emphasizing the need for investing in and rebuilding public infrastructure...and for more effective government responses, at the federal, state and local levels...

...and Newt with excellent ideas around devolving public responsibilities from large government bureaucracies to smaller, leaner, more effective government and private groups to create more decentralized efforts to deal with such a crisis...two very valuable suggestions, I think:):)...Newt's, in particular, to more substantially increase the number and variety of responses and efforts to help in such a tragedy...an advantage of the current response that most of us totally take for granted...but which we could still dramatically improve with a suggestion like Newt's, I think:):):)...

And George Will waxed eloquently on peoples' constant tendency to overestimate what government can do...something I very much agree with:):)...

And George Stephanopolous and Chris Matthews both, to their credit, did something novel as journalists:):):):)...to have constructive conversations that were sympathetic to the very dedicated efforts of public servants to deal with serious catastrophies, like this one...George more successfully with guests better engaged in that effort in Fareed and Newt...

Barack Obama had some very "soul-searching" comments on Chris Matthews, to use his words, that were a much better example of the thoughtful, constructive leadership that Democratic leaders might offer than anything I've heard, as of yet, from Hillary Clinton, Nancy Pelosi, or Harry Reid...

And my stepmom, Marilyn Kodish-Sutherland, sent an email, today, that outlined the efforts of her and my father and the hotel staff and volunteers in Dallas to provide shelter, food, assistance with finding housing and jobs, medical assistance, computers and internet access for evacuees to register with FEMA...very inspiring...and very expensive...

So...here's the deal:):):)...

If you want to contribute to efforts to help with Hurricane Katrina...

You can contribute to the Red Cross, which seems to have the most visible non-profit presence in dealing with this situation...

You can pay taxes:):):)...and maybe then some...to help support the Federal effort (and if you're in the relevant localities, to support local and state efforts)...

And you can donate to this fund that has been set up to help folks who have relocated to the downtown Dallas area, for now:):):)...

There are specific efforts you can donate to -- gas cards for people who need gas for their cars until they get paychecks...or donations to sponsor families staying at the hotel (about $55 per night) -- or you can donate more directly to either the hotel effort...or the efforts of a local non-profit, the Bajito Onda Katrina Fund, a 501(c)(3)...

Thanks for everything you might have to offer to this effort...including, as Marilyn mentions, any and all brilliant ideas that you might offer to better support people struggling with this terrible tragedy...

And thanks, of course, to Marilyn and my dad to giving so generously amidst this terrible tragedy...very impressive to me...

Marilyn's letter, below, has many more details:):):)...

Thanks so much mom and dad, for all your help:):):)...and to everyone who has given and contributed to help with Katrina's survivors (finally, a time where that word seems appropriate:):):)...

Love,
Ben

Dear Friends & Family,

Most of you know Chuck and I own a hotel in Dallas Texas. We have had 800 people at the hotel who are survivors of the hurricane since Katrina
hit.

We've got over 300 this weekend and we're getting a new influx on Monday.

People came to our hotel, expecting to stay for a day or two. When the hurricane hit, they lost their home, their job, everything. The paychecks
they were expecting never arrived. Other hotels turned people away when they couldn't pay but we couldn't do that. And when we found out the
only meal people were getting was our free breakfast because they had no money, we started feeding them 3 meals a day at no charge to them. It costs about
$1500 to provide 3 meals a day.

We have already moved 75 families into apartments (where we arranged 3 months free rent). Each family that has moved into an apartment received a
move-in package with household furnishings, linens, etc. put together by local churches. We're getting 75 more move-in packages tomorrow in
anticipation of moving the next group out to apartments.

We had our first job fair to help them get work last Wednesday, 2 days after the hurricane hit. Over 50 people have received permanent jobs and the
other adults have received temporary jobs (although many are minimum wage which isn't enough to support their families). We have people fill out
a universal application which we are sharing with companies who are looking to hire people. Today while I was at the hotel someone from Eatzi's (a
gourmet café/store) came to review applications and will be setting up interviews in
the next day or two.

Before the hurricane hit, we had one computer for our guests in the lobby. Within a few days of the hurricane, a church donated 5 more which are
in use all the time - so people can access services online and find their family members.

We have a warehouse full of donated clothes and shoes in bags and boxes that have to be sorted so that people can find clothes that will fit. We
need volunteers right now to do that. We also need volunteers to help people apply for their benefits online, find family members, get prescriptions
filled, and listen or whatever else they need.

These people are starting from scratch. It is unimaginable. Many do not know where their family members are. They have no job, no access to
money, a future full of uncertainty. They are so grateful for everything we do and are traumatized by what they have been through. And they need their
neighbors - that's you and me - now!

A member of Congress - Representative Eddie Bernice Johnson - is coming to our hotel tomorrow to see what we're doing and meet some of the
survivors.

Our local CBS affiliate - Channel 11 - reported on our "relief efforts" on Wednesday, saying "the Quality Inn hotel is the best organized relief
organization in Dallas". That is an amazing acknowledgement of the hotel staff and community that has combined efforts to service our guests.
We are hopeful we can get at least partial reimbusement for the housing portion
but haven't figured out how to do that yet!

What can you do?
1) Volunteer! Come to the hotel to sort clothes, help people navigate the system, just listen. We need people every day all day and will continue to need people until they are all settled into jobs and permanent housing. Everything makes a difference.
2) Donate a $50 gas credit card for people who have cars so they can drive to work (they need gas money the first week or two until they get paid)
3) Donate a gas card (so people have gas money their first week of work until they get paid) and/or a Walmart or Target gift cards (for special
needs like adult diapers for their grandmother or extra large clothes that are not donated or special clothes/uniform for their job or for household
items as part of the move-in package)
4) Donate money: (without this we can't provide the relief services we are committed to providing)
- Sponsor a family by paying for their housing and food - it costs about $55 night for each family
- Contribute to or sponsor a move-in package for when they move to an apartment (cost is about $500)
- Help us provide relief services like an extra van ($1600) to transport people to the FEMA or Red Cross office, etc.
5) Come up with brilliant ideas for what else is needed by these amazing survivors and take it on to help us provide that!

If you can make donations to the hotel directly, please write a check to the Quality Inn Market Center and trust us to use it to feed and house
these people. If you want to make a tax deductible donation, you can write a check to the Bajito Onda Katrina Fund which is a special 501(c)(3) fund
created in partnership with a local nonprofit to support our guests who are survivors.

To volunteer, show up!

The attached article is from the Dallas Morning News earlier this week and the end of the article talks a little about our hotel.

Why am I sending you this?
1) So you know what Chuck and I are doing as owners of the Quality Inn
2) So you have some sense of what is needed by these people as they create a
new life from scratch in a new city
3) So you know how you and others can make a difference for the survivors and for us in providing relief services

Each of you receiving this is someone who wants to make a difference with others. Thank you for whatever you can do, including sharing this
with others. Every conversation, every effort whether at our hotel or in your
own community will make a difference.

Marilyn Sutherland
Quality Inn Market Center
1955 Market Center Blvd.
Dallas, TX 75207
hotel: 214-747-9551
My cell: 214-797-9916
My home office: 214-696-6926
Email: kodish@swbell.net

The following is a recent note by a friend of mine who has been
volunteering
at the hotel.
============================================================================
============
Date: Thu, 08 Sep 2005
Subject: Katrina Update from the Quality Inn

Once again I was at the hotel this afternoon and things are changing
rapidly. Here are just a few of them:

We secured a truck yesterday to take our overflow clothing to Salvation
Army, but there was no room at the inn at any of their locations. Also
no
room at Texas Stadium for anything but new items. So all our overflow
is
back at the hotel in the warehouse area, free for guests at the hotel
to
take advantage of once they are sorted.

A funny thing happened this afternoon while I was in the warehouse
(there is
a huge one behind the hotel). A family of five was in the warehouse,
going
through boxes and bins and picking up things. They had three or four
laundry
baskets and had filled them to the brim and then some. As they came by
us on
the way back to the hotel, I noticed they must have had 40 pairs of new
socks. Wow, I said to my new friend Adam, did you see they have about
40
pairs of new socks. Yep, he said. That's a lot of socks, I said. Yep,
he
said. Probably more than they need, I said. Yep, he said.

At which point my objections kind of petered out. Oh, I said, the game
is to
give it all away. Yep, he said.

Well, I don't know if that conveys it, but I was trying to conserve
what we
had and we clearly had mountains more stuff than we need. It is a sea
of
generosity.

A doctor came down this afternoon to see patients. A pharmacist came to
help
with prescriptions. Three or four other medical professionals came as
well.
We found a local drug store that will deliver the prescriptions.

A church group is working on putting together more move-in kits for
families
moving into apartments. Another church group called about managing one
of
the meals on Sunday. Some bunch of guys showed up to cook dinner. It
smelled so-o-o-o good.

We are hosting a "block party" for all the guests on Saturday
afternoon. My
boss has given the tent we use all summer for a tent sale and I got a
local
tent company to volunteer labor and supervision and come down Saturday
morning and put the thing up on the parking lot.

Here is what is needed acutely now (besides the continuing need for
cash)
--VOLUNTEERS ON A REGULAR OR SCHEDULED BASIS.

Please take on calling the hotel and volunteering to be there at a
certain
time (3 hour minimum, please) with a carload of friends. Call the
Katrina
Central desk at 214 747 9511. We are very short during regular business
hours and on week nights. We need 10 to 15 volunteers from 9 am to 9
pm.
Every day.

Ask a group of co-workers, or your family, or your soccer team ... and
your
group will have a big impact. Just carve out a time and let them know
you¹re
coming.

There is something for every skill level ‹ physical work like cooking
or
sorting the mountains of clothes, talking with the guests and just
helping
them sort things out, making phone calls, confirming all the myriad
agencies
and entities who are coming to the hotel, playing with kids, working
with
each family to make sure they are applying for all the benefits they
are
eligible to receive.

Today I got the tent, lent my cell phone to someone trying to track
down her
mail that¹s still being delivered someplace in New Orleans, took
pictures of
a little boy in someone¹s borrowed house slippers, hugged a lady I¹ve
seen
each day I¹ve been there, got half a dozen volunteers started on some
project or another, brainstormed with my friend Adam about what to do
in the
warehouse to make it work for everyone, accepted the offer at the dry
cleaner¹s of dozens of unclaimed cleaned and starched shirts on hangers
to
be delivered to the hotel in the next few days, carried several sacks
of
school supplies that had been donated from the office to the store
where
guests have access to them, etc. See, you could have done any of that,
too.

So drum up a car load and come on down.

That¹s all my Katrina report for tonight. Guests are still in good
spirits.
Those computers in the lobby are really in use. Almost all the adults
at the
hotel who want work have found something. Several families are moving
out to
apartments. And whatever you¹re doing, including just talking with your
friends, it¹s making a difference.

Something makes me doubt...

...that these folks know what responsibility looks like, at all:):):)...

The Blame Game: The Response and Responsibilities in a Disaster

I have to say that there has never been a time in my life...as someone who has largely identified as a liberal and a Democrat...

That I have been so ashamed of identifying as either:):):)...

There is an on-going emergency going on in Louisiana, Mississippi, Alabama, and Florida, right now...

And Democrats are spending valuable time trying to figure out who to blame?...

Why are they not on the phone with someone finding ways to get more help to people in need?...

Why are they not in Louisiana or Mississippi or Alabama or Florida getting a feel for the situation on the ground...and figuring out how they can best help?:):):)...

Why are they not talking with folks who are doing the on-the-ground work and seeing what they can do to be of more help?...

Instead of endlessly carping at the people who are taking responsibility for the situation?...

Is that what Democrats see as leadership for the future?...

Representing the endless whines of people who are frustrated that everything is not going as planned...

Because...if so...they aren't much of an alternative, really...

If I were to choose leadership based on who is taking responsibility during this crisis...and who isn't...

It's a pretty clear choice...

Republicans are taking responsibility...

And Democrats are avoiding it...and endlessly whining about what's not going exactly right...

I hope that's not their campaign slogan for 2008...

Clinton-Pelosi...Avoiding responsibility and sniping at people who do:):):)...

If you don't want to do the hard work...

Sit down and let people who are doing it do their jobs...

And if you want things to get better:):):)...

Stop your fuckin' whining:):):)...and pitch in:):):):):)...

Goddamn:):):):):)...

Thank you, Mr. President...Michael Chertoff...and Michael Brown...for dealing with this crisis as quickly as you possibly can:):):)...

And thank you Nancy Pelosi, Hillary Clinton, and Harry Reid for your concern:):):)...

But if you want to help...

Roll up your sleeves...

And pitch in:):):)...

Have a great day, everyone:):):)...

Love,
Ben

Idealism...

I had a great day today:):)...

A day of so much idealism:):)...

I thought, today, about how I don't want to ever do anything that I know is wrong:):)...about doing the right and the best thing, as much as possible:):):)...about being good and doing good for their own sake:):):)...and making peace with the times in my life when I've not done that:):)...

You ever have times when you're a kid...when you got in trouble for something:):)...and maybe get sent to your room or whatever:):)...

And after some time to sleep or cry or think or all of the above:):):)...

That peace you feel when you resolve yourself, again, to do good as much as possible:):):)...

That's the feeling I had today:):):)...

That peace that comes with that sincere commitment to doing good:):):)...to being a decent and better person:):):)...to being good:):):)...

It was really nice:):):)...

I was walking through the park:):):)...after a hot shower:):):)...and feeling that kind of peace:):):)...it was really nice:):):)...

I've been thinking a lot about my summer in Washington, D.C., lately:):):)...and about my days at Wichita State:):):)...

The idealism I felt:):):)...the feeling that things were always going to get better:):):)...and that they were better than they had ever been:):):)...

The total satisfaction with a modest and inspired life:):):)...

The feeling like I was on this earth to contribute to the welfare of others:):):)...and to do good by me, as well:):):)...

It's been great reminiscing about D.C.:):):)...and all the idealism that Brandi and I felt that summer:):):)...together:):):)...

I told Brandi at that some or some time later:):)...that what was so great about that time was how we reinforced each others' idealism:):):)...how we had created something, together, that neither of us could have created alone:):):)...

But...the great thing about these days:):):)...is that this idealism isn't dependent on anyone else:):):)...it's just something I feel:):):)...like I said in an earlier post:):):)...it's like being in love without needing someone to be in love with:):):)...

It's a great feeling:):):)...

I am so proud of the work I've done in my short time here in this life:):):)...and I'm totally looking forward to doing more good like it in the future:):):)...

And I so thank and am proud of my mom and stepmom and dad for doing such a great job -- warts and all -- of creating and supporting the kind of family -- along with teachers -- especially the folks at the special education department at the University of Kansas, Dr. Ericson and other teachers at Wichita State University, and all of the teachers and adults who have helped nurture that idealism:):):)...and friends -- especially my closest friends -- and extended family -- my Grandma and Grandpa Sutherland and my Aunt Kathleen and all of my dad's brothers and sisters, in particular -- who have made all that possible:):):)...

Have a great day, everyone:):):)...

Love,
Ben

Mental exhaustion...

I have been suffering from some kind of mental and emotional exhaustion the last day or so...

Serious mental and emotional exhaustion...like I'm having a hard time functioning mental and emotional exhaustion...

Just so many impossible expectations from people lately...at work...among friends...

People taking no constructive responsibility...or very little...and persistently expecting the moon and beyond from me...

It's just kind of worn me down...

Last night...I kept telling Melissa...I just can't go on...I can't go on being bullied by people and overwhelmed by stress...it's too much...

I feel better this morning...

But goddamn if I don't give a flying shit for the priorities of anyone pressuring me, right now...

If you are...you will be promptly ignored as soon as I can possibly manage...

Bullying people is no way to be responsible for any situation...

In fact...I am learning the stark contrast...

That bullying is the lazy person's alternative to thinking...

That brute force is the way to avoid reasonsing...

And there is no way that any of us can keep trying to function like that...

And now I realize that people don't do this for some well-developed reason, at all...

They do it because they haven't really thought about it or being seriously responsible for anything at all...other than as some kind of fantasy abstraction...

And the more they do it...the more they'll get the same consequences...

It is literally insanity...doing the same stupid, bullying thing over and over again...and getting the same stupid results...

As I was telling Melissa last night (who was being a really amazing listener as I was feeling totally overwhelmed with stress last night)...

Most people, I'm learning, are kind of mean, stupid, assholes...and stubbornly so...

And it's not charming...

It's annoying...and it gets in the way of those who are trying to be more authentically responsible for life...

And it's become something of a serious burden for me in the last day or so...

And my ability to cope with it has just been seriously depleted...

So I'm trying to rest...

And most people, really...just need to learn to grow up...to start taking responsibility...for their lives...and how their choices affect others...more thought and concern for others...and less bullying and stupidity...

Because I'm getting tired of absorbing the bullshit...and I'm sure everyone else is as well...

And for those who choose to deny that there's a problem with bullying our way through difficult issues...

I'd suggest that you're part of the problem too...

And I'd suggest that we all learn to treat other like we'd want to be treated...and stop treating one another like servants that we are entitled to use up until they just can't take any more...

Noone deserves to be treated like that...

Not President Bush...not me...not my friends or family or co-workers...not our supervisor, Ben...or our department lead, John...or my friend and the department lead on second shift, Kenny...or anyone...

And the problem is not that there are a few of us treating each other that way...

It's that most of us are treating each other that way...

And it's a dumb route...it slows everything down...it achieves little...and it treats everyone like shit...

And it's stubborn and foolish to maintain it no matter how much it makes it harder for us to be and work together...

I'm going to relax for a little bit...and try to recover, some, from all the bullshit that I've dealt with in the last week or so...

Love,
Ben

My parents' contribution to helping with Hurricane Katrina...

My stepmom, Marilyn, sent me this article, today, about the impact of Hurricane Katrina on Dallas, where they live, and downtown Dallas, where they own a hotel, the Quality Inn Market Center, and their efforts to help those in need...

My parents have been poverty activists for years...so their generosity never surprises me...but this level of generosity (see the end of the article on the Quality Inn efforts) is pretty amazing, I must say...

I gave $20 to the Red Cross when I went by the Community Mercantile, our local natural foods store, recently...

And I wish I could say I had the wherewithal to help in the way that my parents and the hotel staff did on this one...its pretty incredible, really:):)...

I have been terribly dissappointed to hear all of the pettiness and blame games and stupid bullshit come from people at all levels...

Including Hillary Clinton, who has done plenty of political grandstanding on this issue but has yet to do one thing that I've seen that constructively deals with this catastrophe...there's a reason why I have doubts about Hillary as President...and this is yet one more...a more important doubt -- the absence of constructive, responsible leadership in the midst of a crisis -- than I've had of Hillary up until now...

Michael Chertoff, on the other hand, the current Homeland Security chief, is doing a far better job of dealing with this crisis than any of his or Michael Brown's critics...most of whom seem to have little interest, at all, in helping people in need at the moment, which is still pretty serious for many people...and much interest in imposing impossible expectations on those who are taking responsibility for the situation...the convenient luxury of those who feel no sense of real responsibility for situations like this one...

Are Democrats forever doomed to be the party of entitlement?...rather than the party of generosity, responsibility, and enlightened self-interest that was the direction that Bill Clinton tried to lead the party in during his tenure?...

Why is it that lesser leaders think that recrimination and whining is some kind of substitute for doing something that helps someone?...especially when a crisis is on-going?...what total lapse in conscience in the face of a serious crisis does someone have to engage in to think that initiating a commission to figure out who to blame for this terrible tragedy is somehow equivalent to working responsibly to help those in need?...or to think that making the Federal Emergency Management Agency as cabinet-level office again will do a goddamned thing to help anyone in Louisiana, Mississippi, Alabama, Florida, and wherever else right now or even in the future?...

People who do this kind of thing need to learn to either do something that will help...or sit down and get out of peoples' way, for goodness sakes...

Thanks Mom and Dad for being so generous in your contribution to this terrible crisis...

Love,
Ben

Katrina's Aftermath: Texas Responds
Dallas, Texas
Evacuees turning to help beyond downtown Dallas centers
06:23 AM CDT on Tuesday, September 6, 2005

By ROBERT THARP / The Dallas Morning News


Thousands of unused cots were stacked high at Reunion Arena and the Dallas Convention Center on Monday as churches, suburban cities and individuals chipped in to defuse the crush of dispossessed.

Already, far more evacuees are living in an assortment of smaller shelters and hotels or doubled up with relatives than in the cavernous downtown Dallas relief centers.

Downtown volunteers served Sunday dinner to about 10,000 Hurricane Katrina evacuees, but at bedtime at Reunion Arena and the Dallas Convention Center fewer than 1,800 of the approximately 8,200 prepared beds were occupied.

Reunion Arena remains the bureaucratic center for evacuees, perhaps skewing the prediction that Dallas would need to house more than 8,000 evacuees, said Dallas City Manager Mary Suhm. On Saturday, Mayor Laura Miller alerted federal emergency officials that the city could take no more.

"It's amazing to me that individuals have reached out and not waited for the bureaucracy," Ms. Suhm said. "What I'm worried about is help two to three weeks from now."

14,200 registered
Louisiana residents who escaped to Dallas before the storm are now coming to Reunion Arena to register and receive distinctive green or pink wristbands that identify them as evacuees. By Monday, the registration list had exceeded 14,200 names. Authorities do not have a system to track where evacuees are staying after they register.

The latest visitors to Dallas have scattered in many directions.

John Johnson, a 56-year-old New Orleans native, has been living with relatives in North Dallas for more than a week. Nine people are sharing a two-bedroom apartment. He did not register at Reunion Arena until seven days after he arrived.

"Myself, I'd stay," said the hotel worker who owns a home in uptown New Orleans. "But my wife, she wants to go back home."

Many are going from dense urban housing in New Orleans to North Texas suburbs. Thirty-six people traveling in three cars showed up at the First Baptist Church of Duncanville, quickly followed by a busload of 50 from the Superdome, said the Rev. Keith Brister.

Like shelters everywhere, the number is fluctuating as fragmented families reunite and others move into longer-term housing.

"They leave and come every hour," Mr. Brister said, noting that the church got a call at 2 a.m. asking if it had space for 100. "We're trying to assess who's here to stay and who's heading out."

Public housing efforts
Dallas Housing Authority officials said Monday that they had placed 1,000 people – about 300 families – in public housing.

Workers with the Interfaith Housing Coalition were rushing to prepare several Old East Dallas transitional housing units and had placed more than 25 families in homes since Sunday. The agency had more than 1,000 evacuees awaiting housing Monday afternoon.

"We definitely have more intake than we have property units available," said case manager David Estrada.

In Wylie, a city of 30,000 in Collin County, the city shelter was sleeping 88, and officials were struggling to reunite a 15-year-old boy disconnected from his parents.

The First Baptist Church in Keller in Tarrant County had 128 evacuees by midafternoon Sunday. A yellow sign hung on a door that read "Welcome to Keller." A makeshift clinic screened evacuees with conditions ranging from asthma to diabetes. One man was not aware that he had suffered a minor gunshot wound inside the Superdome.

"It's like a little city within a church," said Ed Nelson, the church's business administrator.

In McKinney, the city, businesses and volunteers combined to transform a former Wal-Mart from vacant space to a shelter, complete with showers, meals, first aid and bedding for 250, in less than 72 hours. The building had been scheduled to be demolished this month.

By Labor Day, most shelters were still juggling a deluge of volunteers and donations, while enrolling students in area schools and trying to assist evacuees as they start to focus on the future.

At Mr. Brister's church, doctors from Charlton Methodist Hospital were planning to visit the gymnasium so evacuees would not have to come to emergency rooms.

Medical problems there included a spider bite, dehydration and ringworm. A pregnant woman was taken for prenatal care, and another woman who had fainted while waiting to be rescued at the Superdome was still complaining of a headache.

Praise for churches
In an address Monday, President Bush visited a Baton Rouge, La., church and noted the help provided by churches, synagogues and mosques. He singled out T.D. Jakes for the relief work of his Dallas church, The Potter's House, which has a predominantly black congregation.

The Rev. Tyrone Gordon of St. Luke Community United Methodist Church said African-American congregations feel a bond with the mostly black evacuees. Cars were parked bumper to bumper Monday afternoon, and volunteers worked shoulder to shoulder to organize the constant flow of supplies and services. Every day, more than 100 evacuees have stopped by the church's community center on East Grand Avenue for food, clothing, toiletries and housing assistance.

"Just being African-American, there are cultural ties," Mr. Gordon said. "Most that were affected were African-Americans. Many others had the means to get their needs met."

Starting to look ahead
No matter where they're staying, evacuees are starting to shift gears as they accept the reality that they will not be going home soon. Walter Brooks, a 50-year-old cook at New Orleans' famous Antoine's restaurant, contemplated a new life in Dallas and started looking for more permanent housing.

Mr. Brooks spent two days inside the Superdome and 16 hours outside the stadium waiting on a bus that dropped him off in Dallas on Saturday night. He registered at the convention center but came straight to the Quality Inn on Market Center Boulevard, where the hotel's owners have turned over almost the entire 265-unit hotel to evacuees.

The hotel lobby has become an impromptu clearinghouse of aid services. Evacuees can use a bank of computers to register with FEMA. Ballrooms are full of donated clothes, food and supplies. Another area of the lobby is devoted to finding permanent housing and jobs. In another room, stylists have given more than 200 haircuts.

Help for 800
Hotel director Dave Peterson estimates he's helped more than 800 people since evacuees started showing up more than a week ago. He stopped charging those unable to pay. By Monday afternoon, the hotel had helped find permanent jobs for more than 50 people and long-term housing for 27 families.

So far, the effort has been pulled off without help from local or federal authorities, Mr. Peterson said.

"This is all private," he said. "There's nothing here that wasn't brought to us by an individual."

Staff writers Jim Getz, Emily Ramshaw, Ernesto Londoño, Marissa Alanis and Holly Yan contributed to this report.

AID FROM ACROSS TEXAS
Texas is delivering social services to Hurricane Katrina evacuees as 240,000 people start to rebuild their lives in the Lone Star State. The state has provided school enrollment for 6,100 evacuee children and food stamp assistance for more than 26,000 families.

On Monday, Mike Leavitt, health and human services secretary, declared a public health emergency in Texas, saying it would speed federal assistance for the state.

"It will allow us to move the red tape and any roadblock out of the way in order to serve people," Mr. Leavitt said after he, Gov. Rick Perry and local leaders toured San Antonio's emergency shelters on the former Kelly Air Force Base.

A list of several Texas cities that have mobilized to serve thousands of evacuees:

AUSTIN: Donations rolling in
Residents filled three donation sites with clothing, diapers, toiletries and bottled water.

About 4,000 evacuees are at the Austin Convention Center.

Volunteers at an apartment complex in Williamson County prepared 47 rooms with donated goods for evacuees. "They have nothing, so they're going to need toiletries, dishes, food, clothes, dish soap," said Jackie Good, a volunteer from Austin. "The first weekend, everyone jumps out to help. In three or four weeks, I hope people will still keep coming out to help."

BEAUMONT: Country singers perform concert
Country singers Mark Chesnutt and Tracy Byrd performed a free concert Sunday to benefit relief efforts.

About 1,450 evacuees were housed at Ford Park Red Cross shelter.

BRYAN: Corps of Cadets volunteers for 200
Members of Texas A&M University's Corps of Cadets volunteered to help about 200 evacuees at Reed Arena, many of whom wore maroon and white T-shirts donated by the A&M athletic department.

The Bryan-College Station Eagle reported that $58,000 in cash and gift cards had been collected, not including $21,000 raised in one hour last week by the Rotary Club.

CORPUS CHRISTI: Vaccinations for evacuees
As of Sunday, the city had taken in 1,268 evacuees.

About 1,000 evacuees were given vaccinations Sunday at Memorial Coliseum.

Bishop Edmond Carmody has asked residents to house victims who might arrive in the Coastal Bend area.

EL PASO: Festival goers pitch in
About 435 evacuees arrived at the Judson F. Williams Convention Center on Sunday night.

A Fiesta de Las Flores spokesman said festival attendees filled two vans with toiletries, clothes and food.

GALVESTON: Ships to house 5,000
Two Carnival cruise ships will be docked at the Port of Galveston and house about 5,000 evacuees.

HUNTSVILLE: 275 housed by church
About 275 evacuees were housed at First Baptist Church.

Sam Houston State University established a hurricane relief fund.

LUBBOCK: Hanging out
About 400 evacuees arrived Sunday in Lubbock. They will be housed in a hangar at Reese Technology Center and Lubbock Municipal Coliseum.

Breedlove Dehydration Plant is preparing 1 million servings of food to deliver to a warehouse in Magnolia, Ark., 20 miles north of Louisiana. Breedlove also is preparing food shipments to warehouses in Dallas and Houston.

Compiled from wire and Internet reports

I think I've come to terms...

...with the fact that I can't make people think or reason fairly...or do anything, really...

I can encourage it...and talk with them about it...but even that has limitations...

People...ultimately...all of them...make their own choices...and reason through them in their own way on their own time...

And that I...ultimately...just have to let them do that...

I guess that's a really good realization to have as a teacher...as a parent...as a friend...as a brother...as a son...as a human being...

That...ultimately...all I can do is have my say...to think...to write...to talk...

And then I have no control over anything after that...

None of us do...

Maybe that will leave me less frustrated with people...to understand that about them...about myself, as much as anyone else...I'm no different, after all...

And to know that I really -- no bullshit from me -- I really did my best to make things better...

And that's all I can do...really...

And all I ever can do is just keep thinking about things...and try to come up with something better, if possible...

And that's it...that's life...

Hope everyone is having a great Labor Day weekend:):):)...

Love,
Ben

Gunner Palace...

I'm doing what I can on applications without a printer (the library is closed today and tomorrow for Labor Day:):)...

And while I'm at it...Melissa and I are watching Gunner Palace, a really fascinating 2003/04 documentary of daily life of American soldiers in Iraq...

Highly recommend it...really interesting look into the lives of American soldiers in Iraq...and into Iraq post-invasion...

Musical interests are fascinating...a lot of rap...some rock...other soldiers I've seen are often into punk and metal...SPC Stuart Wilf plays a soft, sweet tune on an acoustic guitar...

The Iraqis regard the Americans as very friendly...the Americans do much to try to bring security to Iraq...and support some normalcy in daily Iraqi life...the interactions between soldiers and Iraqi children are particularly touching:):)...

American soldiers train Iraqi soldiers...and it is so interesting to see how much more independent and confident American soldiers are than Iraqi soldiers...a facet of a more democratic military force that Americans so often take for granted, I think...

Soldiers parody the weakly armored vehicles they ride in...they parody the mission...and they have a mix of varying opinions about their cause of rebuilding Iraq...

But all of them seem to be and say that they're proud to be American soldiers...

Definitely recommend this movie:):):)...you won't be disappointed:):):)...

Love,
Ben

Feeling Better:):):)...

I'm feeling much less angry than I was yesterday...though I'm still feeling hurt:):)...it'll take time:):)...I'll work through it:):)...I've talked at length with the involved parties:):)...one seems to have backed off of past bullshit...one has conceded outright and apologized...and one I'm still waiting to hear from...

I'm working on teaching and substitute teaching applications today:)...work has exhausted me in a way that has made this impossible up until now:)...though I was able to finish my resume once again:):)...but I have an extra day this weekend and I am using it:):)...yesterday's drama sapped me of a valuable day to do this work...but it had to be dealt with because it was really important and my friends just couldn't seem to get off the need to be dicks with me enough to let me just focus on this stuff:):)...I love them:):)...all of them:):)...but goddamn it if they can't be some recalcitrant dicks with me too much of the time:):)...

Got totally eyed by this little blonde hottie at the Community Mercantile (our naturual foods store) today:):)...it was really flattering:):)...she was pretty smokin':):):)...and this really amazing looking brunette I have this huge crush on from second shift was eyeing me last Friday:):):)...

It's just eye candy and for fun:):):)...but a lot of fun it is while I'm looking for my true love:):):)...I never got these kinds of looks when I was in school:):):)...well...a little:):)...at the end:):)...but not as much as when I left school and become some kind of flirt magnet that I have no idea whatsoever where it all came from:):):)...it must be my lustful "fuck me" eyes:):):)LOL:):):):)...

Melissa and I made up yesterday (she was a less serious part of this whole mess), ate pizza, and watched the second season of Six Feet Under all night last night:):):)...I had seen it:):)...but it's quality television:):)...so I didn't mind at all watching again:):)...especially the Christmas episode where everyone reminisces about their dad, husband, and boss who died a year previous to begin the series:):)...

Did I mention that I love my life?:):):)...even with all the bullshit:):):)...though smoking is a sucky way to cope with painful shit in life:):):)...I smoked three cigarettes yesterday after not smoking for months...ugh...maybe if we weren't so shitty to one another...we wouldn't feel a need to turn to destructive substances to deal with the pain...just a thought:):):)...

I suppose I'm going to mosey on down to the library so I can use a printer down there:):):)...and finish up these applications:):):)...

Hope everyone is having a great Labor Day weekend:):):)...

Have a great day, everyone:):):)...

Love,
Ben

Sad news...

Chief Justice William Rehnquist Dies...

The Chief Justice and I definitely had lots of disagreements...

His efforts to speed up executions were callous and arrogant, I think...

His vote against overturning sodomy laws may have upheld states rights...but they stomped all over the individual rights of gays and lesbians...

While his vote against affirmative action policies in college admissions violated the autonomy of colleges, even as I largely agree with his intent of promoting a merit-based university educational environment...

And his vote against both the original Roe v. Wade decision and against Sandra Day O'Connor's majority decision to affirm it while an affirmation of life that I appreciate was also a serious abrogation of a freedom that has probably done more and will do more to reduce abortions, long term over time, than original laws against abortion...

And the Bush v. Gore decision was a thinly-veiled partisan vote on the part of conservatives and Republicans on the court to appoint a fellow Republican President...

And...

William Rehnquist was a really terrific man, I think:):)...

He was full of humor and good spirit:):)...his effort to break from tradition to wear four gold Gilbert-and-Sullivan-inspired stripes on the sleeves of his black robe was really kind of sweet, I thought:):):)...a man with a reputation for tradition looking to break free of small traditions:):):)...

William Rehnquist was a good man...a man of God...a humble man, generally...a decent man...passing up the life of wealth and riches that often tempted and still tempts other lawyers for a life of tradition and more high-minded philosophy and of serving purposes higher than himself:):):)...

A widower who loved the court and did much to care for its image and prestige...

William Rehnquist led traditional Christmas carols even as it was becoming more politically incorrect...along with a more traditional Christmas party...

He waxed brilliantly about the case for states' rights in his dissent in Raich v. Ashcroft, the John Paul Stevens majority decision to overturn California's law legalizing medical marijuana...

And his majority decision in Van Orden v. Perry and his dissent in McCreary County v. ACLU affirmed the right of state and federal governmental institutions to display the Ten Commandments -- one of several law codes serving as precedent for our contemporary criminal and civil law, and a symbol of an important part of American and Western religious and cultural heritage:):)...

And his most important legacy -- to help nurture a majority to affirm the rights of states and limit the power of the federal government -- is his proudest and most deserving of praise...an important check on the overreach of the federal government in limiting the freedoms of individuals and states, alike:):)...

William Rehnquist was a good man...and a good justice...anyone of any judgment who has ever witnessed the courtroom of a bad justice -- of which I have watched too many -- must acknowledge the decency and respect for the court, the law, the debate, and the people about which the debate centered that Chief Justice William Rehnquist demonstrated:):):)...

Thank you Mr. Rehnquist:):)...for your intelligence, humility, and good humor:):):)...thank you for your service to the high court and to America:):)...

And thank you for your all too brief stay here on Planet Earth with all of us:):)...

All rise...

Court is adjourned:):)...

Love,
Ben

Being patient...

I just talked with my neighbor, Jesse...

And I guess the conclusion I'm coming to...

Is that I have to be patient...

That people are, generally...not very fair...and not very thoughtful about much of anything...and certainly not forgiving...though they aren't even very fair or thoughtful when there's nothing to forgive, either...

That people are more prone to get stuck on an opinion...and to defend it...than to really think through it...

And though that IS the primary reason for why most of the most preventable stuff in the world, happens...murder...terrorism...genocide...all the most awful things...

And though supporting a more seriously thoughtful and freer, more democratic culture is the thing that's gotten us this far...and that is going to get us anywhere in the future...

That's it's going to take a long time...far longer than I ever, ever imagined...to get us to a place where people take values that I think of as basic to life...to take them seriously...to think about the world beyond their own narrow and self-centered and self-righteous interpretations...to stop thinking about the world in terms of which gang they can belong to so that they can rationalize which other gang is wrong about the world...or whomever...

To be Crips...or Bloods...or Vice Lords...or Junior Boys (the gang at my high school in Wichita)...

To be men...or women...

To be black...or white...or Asian...or Hispanic...or Native...

To be Democrats...or Republicans...or liberals...or conservatives...

To be Americans...or Canadians...or French...or Brits...

Or Chinese...or Cubans...or Iranians...or Syrians...

Or Sunnis...or Shias...or Christians...or Muslims...or Jews...

Or whatever...

That kind of self-righteousness...that kind of thoughtlessness is so destructive...it solves nothing...it does nothing...it builds and creates nothing...

It is self-serving...and it doesn't even do that very well...

And in the meantime...

It is destructive...of good efforts...from good people...

I listen to all of the criticism of the effort to help folks in Louisiana and Alabama and Mississippi and Florida and wherever...

And I hear all that self-righteous nonsense...the kind that saps the energy of good and decent and constructive efforts...

And I experience every day, really...

At work...

Among friends...

Even among family...

And it drives me crazy...

It drives me crazy...

That people spend so much time lost in ignorance...and stupidity...and hatefulness...and bitterness...and cynicism...and whatever...

And hurt who they want to hurt, in the meantime...

Since that shit is never isolated to just who it is intended for...

And, as Terrence McNally's really brilliant movie, "Love, Valour, Compassion" says...

All that hate and bile is for all of us...we all have to eat that shit along with whomever holds onto it...and is blinded by it...and reads the world through its seriously fucked-up vision...

I'll just to be patient, I suppose...

Because I can't make a goddamn person think more...more clearly...more broadly...fairer...more rigorously...and with more inner and outer debate and discussion...

I can't make people think better...

I can only encourage it...model it...be an example for it...and learn from them...keep an open mind...and keep the conversation open...

But goddamn it if I am not infuriated by how goddamn stubborn most people are about this...

How goddamn arrogant most of the goddamn world is that they think that others should take their self-righteous, stubborn opinions about the world more seriously than they should when they don't take the time to think about them more...

And they are so goddamn retiscent to acknowledge that maybe...just maybe...

They might be wrong...

That maybe there is no right gang to belong to...or nationality...or race...or ideology...or gender...or sexuality...or age...or position...or authority or not...

That there is just us...and thinking and feeling...and doing both of those better and more constructively over time...

"Why is that so goddamn hard?," I wonder...

I admit...I used to belong to the Democrat gang...and the liberal gang...because I thought that Democrats and liberals had all the answers...and because Republicans and conservatives were all standing in the way of those answers...

But I've definitely taken off those blinders...

And I don't belong to the intellectual gang...

I think everyone can think at the most rigorous levels...

But most people, I'm afraid, don't really give a shit about doing that...or at least they don't think they can do it...and they resist every effort to do so...

They give a shit about how dumb they think everyone else is...

But not necessarily about thinking seriously in a way that treats everyone fairly...and decently...and takes rigorous thought serious about most matters...

And I guess I'll just have to be patient...as people get over that one...

As people get over the bullshit that I've been dealing with ever since I left grad school...

That neither takes education or the most rigorous thought seriously...except as a kind of fascination...nor does it aspire, really...

The second of which is the really serious problem, to me...

Not having education...or not being the brightest are not necessarily anyone's fault...

But not aspiring...and stubbornly resisting it...that's a whole other matter...

And there's not a goddamn thing I can do about that...

But given that it is the only thing that has a chance of moving us forward...

I just have to wait...and be patient...and hope...hope that we get there...

I have to remember that all over the world...that people go without so much that I take for granted in the world...

And that the only thing they have is hope...

Because they are often genuinely helpless to do much about it...or to know what to do better...

And perhaps there are just things in the world that I will have to learn to just hope for as well...as well as working on them...with far more of a reality-check on where we're at on those aspirations than I ever imagined...

I remember reading Abraham Maslow's The Farther Reaches of Human Nature when I was in grad school...and thinking, "Goddamn...wouldn't that be a great world"...

Abraham called it "Eupsychia"...and I now I know why...because it was this barely scratched out utopia...that even Abraham must have realized what far from realizable in his own lifetime...

But it's better to carve that vision out...and to work on making the world a better place...

Than to just engage in the mental masturbation that is cynicism...the constant, "I told you so"...with no effort to make things better...and to make up a million stupid rationalizations of the way the world is...without trying to imagine how it might be better...and to make it better...

The world is far better for Abraham Maslow's musings...

He is one of the most read psychologists in the world, today...and one of the most read authors in education schools, where I study...

And he got us thinking about where humanity is at in terms of its thinking...and its values...and how its thinking affects its values...and how peoples' thinking about life is what makes us so adaptable to life...what gives us this amazing ability to navigate challenges to our lives and well-being...

This amazing ability called intelligence...

That is so unique in most ways to our species...

And which we totally take for granted...constantly...no matter how much it makes our existence as we know it even the slightest bit possible...

How without it...

We have no internet...or homes...or workplaces...or technology...or a million inventions that make our lives possible...fire...the light bulb...medicines...

How all of our lives are so intimately dependent on our intelligence and the intelligence of others...

And yet how we all take it so much for granted...

And how so many of us just can't imagine that thinking about people -- in the social sciences...in history...and policy and political science...in psychology...and anthropology...and criminology...and education...and a million other places -- like somehow that thinking just wouldn't matter...

That somehow that kind of thinking is just so intangible...that it's just mental masturbation...

Well my fucking mission in life is showing people that it's not mental masturbation...

That is matters...

That thinking matters...

That education matters...

That deep thought...and profound thought...and wisdom...

They matter...

And they matter to all of us...

And that we can all learn that...

With better and better engagement on terms that we understand...

And with better understanding...including the understanding of the need to let go of the propensity to have stubborn opinions about life that aren't accountable to anyone or anything else than our own random rationalizations...

That freedom...and democracy...and all those ethereal values that go along with them...

That they matter...that they really matter...no matter how much we consistently take them for granted...

And that all of us learning these things...and me engaging people on these things...is more important than any goddamn thing on earth that I could spend my life doing...

It matters that much...

But goddamn it if I am not infuriated as all hell both trying without success too much of the time to make things happen that I can't make happen...that people have to choose...with or without me...

And goddamn it if I am not infuriated living in a world where people don't take them nearly seriously enough...and which I have to live with in the meantime...and which affects me as much as anyone else on this mark...

But there is no way to move forward with humanity...until we get clear on this one...

There is no way...

There is no progress without more intelligence...and thought...and care...and concern...and valuing the important things in life...without more decency...and humanity...and love...and compassion...and forgiveness...and understanding...

There is no way forward...

Period...

Everything else is a big fuckin' illusion...

That cannot be skirted just because we don't feel like making the effort...

Goddamn do I hope that the people I'm dealing with right now either give me a really good goddamn reason for why they are treating me like shit, right now...

Or that they give it up...and give up the bullshit that comes with the self-righteous reasoning that most of the world engages in, to be honest...

Because God knows that I have lost all patience with this world...and with the bullshit that comes with it...

I can't think of anything else to say...

I just hope life gets better, I suppose...

I'll keep my fingers crossed:):)...

Love,
Ben

Life...no serious thought necessary...

I think what I'm getting taste of is what the world looks like with less rigorous thought...and more reactions...that get rationalized in a whole host of ways...

A life without rigourous thought is a life of random experiences and random thoughts and random reactions...

A life where anything can be rationalized for whatever purposes...under whatever guise...for whatever reasons that we might assert in the moment...

A life where presumption of good faith isn't needed...because the worst can always be assumed...

A life of self-fulfilled cynicism...

A life where we all believe what we want to believe...just because...no real serious thought necessary...

And where we all just self-righteously assert our right to believe whatever we want to believe...no serious thought necessary...

And where we all do whatever we want...no serious thought necessary...

Where we hurt others...in whatever ways we please...no serious thought necessary...

A life where the only thing we are accountable to is our own goddamn egos...and experiences...and "stories"...and our isolated thoughts...or even poorly conceived thoughts reinforced by one another...

No serious thought necessary...

That's how we ought to introduce people in the world, I think...

Life...no serious thought necesary...

Because the truth is that that's how most of us really think about the world...

Life...no serious thought necessary...

And what an ugly world it is with no serious thinking thought necessary...

Surely there's got to be something better...

Ben

I think I finally understand Tom...

Mood: Angry...disillusioned...

After almost 3 years out of grad school...

I think I finally understand how my grad school advisor got to be so cynical...

Because people are such a goddamned crock of shit...

Noone ever takes responsibility for anything...except to take credit...

Noone ever says they're sorry when they fuck up...

Just a bunch of bullshit...

And when you see all of it in its totality...all of the ways that people drop the ball on being big people...especially on the really important things...

And when you see that they have no interest in doing a goddamn thing except for reinforcing their own stupid fucking rationalizations for how things are...or how they think about them...

And when you feel finally so goddamned trapped and hopeless about being able to change that...because people are more committed to their goddamn egoes than they are to doing better...

You give up...

And the cynicism sets in...

Because you finally accept that there's nothing you can do about it anyway...

I have never in my life felt as serious about this route than I feel today...

I have never in my life thought to myself, "Humanity is really just unredeemable"...

And thinking like that has always seem so fruitless...

Because if I were to ever truly believe it...

What use would there be in going on in this world, for goodness fucking sakes?...

Who the fuck cares if people are unredeemable?...

If people can't ever take responsibility for their bullshit...

I mean really...

Then there's nowhere to go...

There's no progress...

There's no way forward...

There's no improvement...

There's not shit...

There is just some miserable fucking existence...

As Hobbes wrote..."nasty, brutish, and short"...

And then a world where we only care about getting our way...and getting more of whatever it is that we want...

And generally being selfish shitheads...

Only makes sense...

But death makes as much sense in the face of that...

Because it just doesn't matter what direction we take at all, really...

Because if the only thing that matters is all the stupid shit in the world...

The money...the power...the fame...the sex...the drugs...the alcohol...

...the gluttony...the lust...the greed...the vanity...the wrath...the envy...the sloth...

And the eighth deadly sin...

The self-righteousness...

The most persistent and least recognized amongst religious and non-religious folks who portend to take such matters seriously...

If those are really all the things that really matter in life...

Then nothing really does matter in life...

Life doesn't really matter...

For some reason...

No matter how alienated I feel from people right now...I suppose the feeling you feel when you feel alienated from your closest friends...

I just can't believe that completely...

I can believe it enough to smoke my first cigarette in months...

But I just can't believe it for real...

But the truth is...

I don't know what to believe in anymore...

Because goddamn if I'm going to believe that this is all she wrote...this petty little life that we've created for ourselves...this petty little bullshit life...

I don't think I've ever quite felt this betrayed by friends...

And I don't think they give much of a shit about anything, really, except avoiding their own bullshit...

And fuck them for it...

"Why?" is always the question I go to when something fucked up happens...

But...there just hasn't been an answer to why on a whole range of issues...

There's just been "Because that's the way I'm going to handle it, motherfucker"...

The rationalization of the bully...

Not the thinker...

But the lesson I've learned that I'm sure must have made Tom so cynical after years of dealing with it...

Is that people just don't give a shit much of the time...about thinking about a goddamn thing...

Except about what will stroke their goddamn egoes...

And I've never believed in that bullshit...

Because ever since I was...I don't how old I was...

I believed...and was involved in efforts to make life a better place to be...for everyone...not just for me...

But I'm learning that no matter how hard I do that...

It will never matter...

Ever...

Ben

I think I'm really giving up this time...

I think I'm really giving up this time...

Something happened this weekend involving a whole truckload of my best "friends" -- I say "friends," because I can barely call any of them friends, at this point -- that has just about convinced me that I am wrong...

That people do not ever take responsibility for their bullshit EVER...

That people are just rationalizing motherfuckers...

And that there is no need to do this work any more...

Because it is hopeless...

And that I need to do instead...

Is to just go a place where I can make a shitload of money...

And stay away from everyone...from now on...forever...

I need of life of serious misanthropic hermitude...

Where I don't deal with people any more...ever...for the rest of my life...

Because the truth is...

You can't count on a goddamn one of them...

Noone...

Hurrican Katrina and her critics:):):)...

kanyewestisastupidasshole posts a really interesting article this morning from the Globe and Mail on his/her blog linked to the comments on the Time Magazine cover story on my Blogspot blog:):)...and is does seem that Kanye West is being something of an asshole:):):)...

Kanye West takes Bush to task during NBC telethon

I am concerned about the "shoot to kill" kinds of comments that are being made around looting in New Orleans and those surrounding areas right now, which Kanye makes mention of...he is right in the sense that many people -- black and white -- are just looking to get needs met in the midst of the chaos that is post-Katrina in those areas hit...

But the idea that help or lack of it is racist in any intentional way is a sad exploitation of this terrible situation for political purposes...

It's so funny...the longer I do politics...the less centered I am in it...and the more silly it seems to me people who are too centered in political interpretation of events rather than just human interpretations of human events...

The situation in Louisiana and Mississippi and Alabama and Florida and the Bahamas and all the places effected is a terrible tragedy for a lot of people, right now...

But it's nooone's fault...it just happened...and now everyone is doint their best to help pick up the pieces...including the President...who's doing a fairly nice job of it, right now, I think...more can always be done, obviously...but President Bush and President Clinton and President George Bush Sr. and all kinds of people, in America and around the world, right now, are doing their best to respond to this terrible crisis as quickly and as calmly as they can amidst chaos that needs calm to resolve it more peacefully and constructively...

The President is doing just fine...and he and we all need each others' support, right now...not endless and fruitless bickering about who gets help first...in fact, the President's calm is very reassuring, right now...he's made comments (that I haven't been able to locate again) which were very reassuring to me that he is both doing everything he can in Iraq...and that he is learning, better, about the pressures that come with making all the hard calls...

The country needs and is trying to come together around this, right now...and this kind of nonsense is counterproductive...and hurts our ability to help people as much and as quickly as possible...

The President is doing everything he can...and so is everyone else...to help everyone who needs it...in the midst of this crisis...

And what we need, right now...is calmer heads and hearts...as they do everything they can to deal with the devastation...and get everyone to safer ground as quickly as possible:):)...

Have a great day, everyone:):)...

Love,
Ben

Loving ourselves:):):)...even the manipulative shitheads that we are:):):)...

Things at work seem to be moving in a much more positive direction, these days:):)...

Both in terms of behavior and in terms of productivity we were slipping last week:)...

But this week...on both counts...we seem to be moving in a better direction:):)...we're on schedule, at this point, to avoid mandatory overtime:):)...

The guys have been really shitty to me at times:):)...

But I have to say that I love these guys:):)...I mean that:):)...no matter how shitty they've been with me:):)...

And hopefully what I'm sharing with them:):)...is that we can all love ourselves:):):)...

No matter what manipulative shitheads that we can all often be:):)...

Noone escapes that:):)...

Conservatives are right that people are really just often shitheads, unfortunately:):):)...

But liberals are right that we can love ourselves no matter what shitheads we often are:):):)...

In fact:):):)...the bigger the shithead we are:):):)...the more we need to love ourselves:):):)...and the love we need from others:):) (though our whiny little asses can deal until people are able to dig deep enough to find that love for them:):):)...

We're responsible for ourselves:):):)...that's for sure:):):)...

But if perfection is required for us to be loved:):):)...we are all in the some deep ass shit:):):)...

Because those human beings don't exist...never have existed:):):)...never will exist:):):)...

We are who we are:):):)...and we get better over time as we learn to love ourselves and others:):):)...

We're kind of shitheads in the meantime:):):)...

Doing everything we can to avoid responsibility for our behavior and its consequence on everyone else's life:):):)...

But...over time:):):)...as we learn to love ourselves and one another:):):)...

We become less and less of the shitheads we have been in the past:):):)...

And more and more the better people we all knew we could be:):):)...

If you haven't seen the testimony of the Schindlerjuden -- the survivors of the Holocaust saved by Oskar Schindler -- on the Schindler's List DVD, by the way, you definitely need to...it's really touching...

And a powerful testimony...that perfection is not necessary to do enormous good in the world:):):)...

Love,
Ben

The physics of human aggression and force:):)...

I've been playing around with the idea of human aggression or force as a physical property with concepts like valence theory in organic chemistry...

But it just occurred to me, today, that physics would be the best place to start:):)...

Force as a physical property...

I have a lot of studying up to do:):)...

Ben

Jacques Derrida on 9/11...

I ran across this today:):):)...

9/11 and Global Terrorism: a dialogue with Jacques Derrida

Why again do so many people (including myself at one point) take this fool so seriously?:):):):):):):)...

Apparently Jacques never learned the distinction between being clever and being smart:):):):):):):)...

What a moron:):):)...

Having said that...especially as I am reminded of it after reading Kenny's blog, today:):):)...

I totally respect Jacques Derrida's efforts to understand language and politics and world as best he could:):)...

And don't wish to disrespect someone who has passed from us...who taught me a lot...even if it was learning, often, about how to avoid intellectual obtuseness:):):)...

And, as Kenny points out on his blog...is a real human being...with friends and family...and a life beyond just being an intellectual:):):)...

Thanks for being with us, Jacques:):):)...

Love,
Ben

Least possible necessary aggresion: military and criminal applications...

I'm in the middle of U.S. Air Force (I know, Phoenix:):) LTC (Lieutenant Colonel?) Tony Pfaff's fascinating discussion of the overlap of police and military rationales for use of force in complex military/peace-keeping/criminal law enforcement situations...

Ethics in Complex Contingencies: New Demands on the Warrior Ethic...LTC Tony Pfaff...

I was kind of curious whether others were writing/discussing principles like least possible necessary force or least possible necessary aggression...

And LTC Pfaff's article was the first I happened upon...

It's a fascinating discussion of military and police ethics that I highly recommend to anyone interested in the use of force and the practical implications of the ethics of its use...

I'm still not done with it...so I'll try to comment more later...

But two things in the meantime...

First...this is a really welcome look at the emerging need for joint efforts by law enforcement and military personell in combat and law-enforcement efforts (Tony gives an example of joint police and Marine efforts during the 1992 Los Angeles riots that is a really fascinating illustration of how law enforcement and military personell differ when they use the term "cover")...

...and of the general philosophical issues around the use of force...

I understand and yet disagree with Tony's dichotimization of least possible force and most possible force between law enforcement and military...I don't think Tony's thinking broadly enough about what would constitute "most possible force" (he clarifies this in a graph below that illustrates, better, I think, that Tony is talking about more and less force...not most possible force as I think he mislabels it...most possible force could involve an awful lot of force, if one really thinks about it...including the use of atomic or nuclear weapons to resolve all matters of military conflict...something that I don't think that Tony is advocating)...

Tony is not arguing literally for the most possible force, as he argues later...he is arguing for most possible force by military personell with the restraints of proportionality and discrimination...which he goes into with some detail in this paper...

The graph, I think, helps to illustrate what Tony is arguing...that law enforcement uses less force -- though, while I wish they would use the least possible necessary force...they often, do not...and often with full consent of civilians...not as a matter of violating any law enforcement ethic -- and that the military tends to use more force...for reasons that are understandable...something I totally agree with, of course...

Tony uses deontological principles as the principle to limit force in military situations...which I think is a mistake...deontological principles, as Tony rightly argues, are absolutes...

"You don't do such and such because it's wrong...period" (I ran a deontological case my freshman year of college in debate and it was a bitch to defend because of all of the problems inherent in the flawed logic of deontology...Immanuel Kant, notwithstanding:):):)...

But...as Tony argues later in his paper...this is a really problematic way of arguing that often leads to "morally self-defeating logic," as Tony appropriately calls it when he argues against an absolute principle of no risk to non-combatants during military operations when civilians can be used as human shields (a really fascinating example of the "morally self-defeating" logic, as Tony puts it, of arguing from moral absolutes...which I think applies more generally than Tony is arguing here, beyond just this one example of combatants putting non-combatants at risk during military conflicts)...

I agree, obviously, that military conflict involves more force...though not the most possible force, as Tony argues and, I think, wrongly labels his own argument (which he is not arguing in practice throughout the paper...which is why I think it's a mislabel rather than just a disagreement between Tony and I)...

But I still think that in both military and law-enforcement practice that the least possible NECESSARY force is the principle that should guide how force is used...

Meaning...and I don't think Tony would take issue with this...

If military operations can be undertaken WITHOUT risking civilian lives, they should (as I imagine many if not most military personell in democratic countries, at least, do as much as possible and as much as they think to as is)...

And while I agree with Tony that the use of force can minimize the risk to law enforcement and military folks...

I think Tony is seriously underestimating (and maybe I just haven't gotten to a fuller discussion of this in the paper, yet) how the use of force can INCREASE the risk to military and law-enforcement, which, to my mind, has clearly occurred in Iraq...and to a lesser degree, in Afghanistan...

As Tony argues in the paper...collateral damage means that someone's father, mother, brother, sister, wife, husband, child, girlfriend, boyfriend, friend...whomever...has died...and an awful lot of people want to take revenge in that situation...as well as withholding support for soldiers, in warfare, and police, in law enforcement, who make those mistakes erring on the side of more force and killing or seriously hurting civilians...and, unfortunately, supporting terrorists and insurgents and other actors who are hostile to both those soldiers, democratic countries, generally, and specific democratic countries, like the United States...

I whole-heartedly agree with Tony that military and law-enforcement officials must do more joint training (as I think happens, de facto, a lot, as is...since many of my military friends go on into law enforcement careers like police and prison guard duty)...but Tony and I are thinking of something that more formally explores the overlap and needed collaboration between these groups in dealing with a whole range of issues...

From the Los Angeles riots...to peace-keeping...nation-building...to terrorism...

There are many places where important distinctions need to be made as law enforcement and military responsibilities increasingly overlap...

I think a better way of arguing Tony's case is not that the military use the most possible force (which it clearly doesn't now...and shouldn't in the future)...nor that law enforcement use the least possible force (which is also a complicated principle...I changed the principles I was working with from least possible aggression to least possible necessary aggression to avoid the confusion that somehow I was expected people to adopt "morally self-defeating," (as Tony would put it) principles of pacifism in the face of aggression...which I don't think are appropriate principles at all...but rather that they use the least possible NECESSARY aggression or force, to avoid the unintended consequences that often come with the use of aggression either, one, when it is not necessary...or two, using too much force, when lesser force would accomplish the mission, in a military context, or secure the situation, in a law enforcement context...

Tony's conclusions are important to ponder, I think...both because of his appropriate focus, I think, on a better developed professional education that deals with law-enforcement and military joint exercises...and his focus on the political benefits from taking the moral high ground in warfare...and remembering that the moral high-ground -- not a morally self-defeating moral absolutism...but authentic moral high ground that comes from the better use of moral judgment based on utilitarian principles, properly understood -- not the morally bankrupt principal that the ends justify the means...as is too often practiced in contemporary politics and warfare...but the moral utilitarian principles that long term moral ends should be considered when choosing means... more than based on morally absolute deontological principles...which are inherently, I believe, morally self-defeating, as LTC Pfaff so eloquently puts it:):):)...

"US operations over the last decade are filled with stories of where Coalition forces restrained the use of force in order to preserve civilian lives, even when the law and morality of war did not require it. This author does not question the commitment of the military, as an institution, to upholding the principle of noncombatant immunity. However, what is lacking is a conceptual framework that accounts for how to apply the principle in the wide variety of environments members of the military find themselves—often within the scope of a single operation. This is necessary if we are to have consistency in the face of this complexity.

What also follows from this discussion is that it will not always be clear what threat soldiers are facing, which means it will be up to military professionals to rely on their experience and judgment to discern which approach, criminal or enemy, is appropriate to apply. This underscores the need for a professional education curriculum that accounts for the demands of both models. Further, while the discussion of proportionality and discrimination was meant to suggest the kinds of obligations, permissions and prohibitions that exist regarding the use of military force in complex contingencies, it is by no means complete. The restoration of civic peace is not only a job for the military and more work needs to be done to build a comprehensive approach that draws on the professional resources and experience of civilian institutions which are necessary for creating the conditions for civic peace.

Some may argue that placing such constraints on fighting a deadly enemy needlessly and irresponsibly restrains soldiers from pursuing courses of action that allow them to effectively to protect themselves, as well as the civilians they are sworn to defend. But it is also true that prosecuting a war in a way that violates our own values risks undermining the political will necessary to successfully see the war to a successful end. Coalition forces should pursue an aggressive policy by which they engage insurgents and terrorists wherever and whenever they find them. But they must also must recognize when violations of individuals’ right to life and liberty is not permissible and restrain the use of force accordingly.

This requires policies and procedures that recognize necessity must be constrained and interpreted in different ways, depending on the situation in which it is applied. In some cases it means using the most force permissible, given the restrictions of proportionality and discrimination. In others, it means using the least possible and never in such a way that civilians are knowingly put at risk. Furthermore, even if in particular situations conforming to moral obligations leads to restraint and perhaps missed opportunities, this may be the short-term price to pay in order to gain the long-term benefit maintaining the moral high-ground brings.[41]"

I definitely encourage those who are interested in the use of force in international policy, in warfare, in law enforcement, and even just in everday life to check out Tony's very thoughtful discussion of its use in this article:):):)...

I'll write more as I finish the article:):):)...

Ben

More on Tony's article:):)...

There are many issues that I would want to touch on in Tony's article...

But one, in particular...is Tony's discussion of the distinctions between what he calls fourth generation warfare and previous military conflicts and dealings with terrorism...

Tony, I think, is trying to deal with the complex discussion of how terorists should be treated...terrorism, Tony rightly argues, I think, is a complex matter for military and law enforcement officials...it is crime, in the sense that is is murder for political ends...and it generally uses low-level warfare...but it is distinct from warfare between states or populations in the sense that is is warfare that is generally regarded as illegal, often and generally in the states or among populations where it is conducted...

So the need for some kind of military response is present since conventional law enforcement are not prepared or armed to deal with such matters...and yet...terrorists, as much as possible, need to be brought to justice to account for their crimes, rather than treated as simply enemy combatants...but their armed resistance and their threat to the lives, bodies, and property of civilians and others complicates this effort...

But Tony is wrong to argue, I think, that 9/11 represents some kind of qualitatively different form of terrorist crime that existed pre-9/11...terrorism, in its nature, involves a threat from those engaged in some kind of guerrila warfare to states and civilians, as much as a form of organized crime...

What separates terrorism, as a category of crime and warfare, from, say, the mafia...is that mobsters do not typically engage in guerilla warfare to accomplish their ends...and that mobsters are not typically engaged in organized crime for political reason...they usually use criminal means to violently enforce their desire for money, power, influence, etc...

But neither of these groups of criminals are sanctioned by a government or by law...which clearly doesn't necessarily make combatants legitimate, as the principle of just war, itself implies...since, in order for war to be just, one set of combatants needs to be engaged in unjust or less just warfare...and another set of combatants needs to be engaged in just or more just warfare...noone argues, for instance (I hope) that Saddam's troops were justly governing Iraq and fighting American forces...if they are, they either are naive about the nature of Saddam's totalitarian regime...or callous to the oppression experienced by the Iraqi people...

Terrorists, in their nature, typically target states...and, often, civilians...contrary to Tony's analysis of the situation...

Meaning...the challenge we face today...is not because the threat has changed necessarily...

It is because our view and reasoning about the situation has both filled out in terms of the complex realities, initially...and because we are beginning to think about these matters, differently, given those new realities...we are all becoming, hopefully, better policy thinkers, in other words...

And one of the most important realities of terrorism that has changed...is that we have found more successful ways to deal with terrorism than simply trying to crush terrorist forces...which has been largely unsuccessful in the past...

And...in Northern Ireland...in Israel...at Guantanamo...at Abu Grahib...and in a whole host of situations...

We have learned that rationalizing "by any means necessary" has consequences that we never intended in dealing with terrorism...that necessitates a more sophisticated way of dealing with this very sophisticated form of crime and guerilla warfare...

We've made a lot of mistakes over the course of dealing with these and other various challenges...we...as a country...and as a culture...not just individuals that we might scapegoat for our general failures in reasoning and responses...

And we owe a lot of slack to individual soldiers who are charged with conducting operations in Iraq and Afghanistan and other places around the world that we have both engaged with good intentions...and that we've made serious mistakes around, especially larger policy mistakes, over the course of our operations in the last 5 years or so...

As LTC Pfaff makes clear in this article...the problems associated with the complexities in these wars and in dealing with terrorism are not "attitudinal," as Human Rights Watch charges...

They are theoretical...they are at the level at which we think...not just at the level at which we feel...

And LTC Pfaff makes a very admirable effort to think at a broader level on these matters that we should all take seriously if we are to treat both civilians and service people with the kind of respect for their lives and their freedoms and their judgments and consciences that they deserve...

Education...and life after grad school...

Welp...I was right...

After several months of this whole non-speaking about my education...

I finally confirmed, today, what I've been suspecting for almost the entire time I've been in shipping at Amarr...

Which is that the issue I've been dealing with...

Is peoples' pettiness and jealousy and bullshit around my having so much education...

It came out today in a conversation I had with our supervisor...a guy I respect and like quite a bit, actually...but whom I've been suspecting and was right was treating me bullshit at least in part because of my education...

My friend Deway and I starting having the much more honest conversation, today, about education...about it's importance in life...like it or not...why...how...etc...

I had been getting treated like shit for far too long, up to this point...and it was the only honest conversation to have, at this point...given all the bullshit I've dealt with...

And Ben very nicely, I thought...was making sure that Deway and I weren't going to be at each others' throats:):):)...but clearly with more appreciation for Deway's perspective than mine...since he largely shared Deway's perspective, I think...

That this punk college kid just doesn't ever listen...that it, of course, has nothing to do with anything Ben or Deway may be doing or not doing:):):)...

Deway, remember, is one of my very closest friends at Amarr...I still consider him one of my closest friends...even though he acted colder today...

And Ben I respect quite a bit...he knows his shit...and I respect that in a lead...that they know what they're doing...and didn't just get promoted through the ranks for stupider reasons...including that they have more education...which is a really stupid reason to promote or hire people into management positions, I think, generally...since education doesn't guarantee a damn thing -- at least with making and shipping garage doors -- in terms of knowing what you're doing and working with people...though it can help:):)...

But having an education...and being book smart, as people with less education often refer to it...doesn't hurt for goodness fuckin' sakes...and it doesn't at all mean that you can't learn on the job...to the contrary...it's definitely an advantage...

If you're not dealing with the huge fuckin' chips that most people carry on their shoulders about how smart they think they are or aren't all the time, that is...

And what Ben and Deway are having a hard time facing...

Is that I am learning quite a bit from them...

But the truth is...they are both stubborn as hell about learning much from me...

And in the meantime...on the inside...they are saying to themselves...

"Fuckin' college kid...thinks he knows everything...I don't need no college...college don't mean shit..."

Blah...blah-blah...blah-blah...blah-blah...
blah-blah...

A whatever million other rationalizations that people like Deway and Ben have for why college is no good anyway...and it's not their own stubborness that keeps them from learning...that it's the uselessness of college or education or whatever...

Not that they're just stubborn motherfuckers not wanting to face their own limitations on this one...and how it impacts even something as simple as shipping garage doors at Amarr...

So...

Ben's asking me -- jokingly -- how a college kid like me could make mistakes that I make at Amarr...and -- jokingly -- why I didn't learn about this kind of stuff in college:):):)...

And I'm like, "Of course they don't teach about working tiers in college"...

And I'm thinking...this is a fuckin' garage door warehouse...it's not like it's rocket-science to work a fuckin' tier for goodness fuckin' sakes...because if it was...this department would be in deep fuckin' shit:):):)...because I don't see any fuckin' rocket scientists around here:):):)...

I'm taking Deway's and Ben's feedback, mind you...and try to make that clear as much as possible...

But what Deway and Ben are both working on is how they have tough conversations...Ben is better at them...but he also feels uncomfortable with conflict in a way that I am not...because I do policy for a living for goodness fuckin' sakes...conflict is the name of the game in my line of work...and not just any conflict...but the deepest, most profound issues in life are the subject of the conflict that I am used to engaging in:):):)...

So garage doors seem like a piece of cake to have an argument about, really:):):)...because...at the end of the day:):):)...they're just garage doors:):):)...

Anyway...the point for me is...

That...paradoxically...

I think these really honest conversations (I hope) have brought all of us closer together, actually...rather than further apart...

I know that Deway and I are fairly close (no matter what he was saying last night:):):)...

And I'm positive that Ben and I have gotten closer than when he first became our supervisor:):):)...when I was still just this punk college kid who he was sure thought had all the answers (which wasn't and still is not true)...

Now I'm someone he can rely on to be fairly reasonable, I think...and to explain, better, his reasoning on issues that he needs communicated with the guys...which they don't always understand very well, at first...

And hopefully he notices that I'm not someone who bitches about every last little stupid thing at Amarr...as most of the guys do...

That the conflict I engage in involves important shit...not the menial bullshit...which I let go of all the time...

It's a start, this conversation...

After feeling really discouraged...

And for me it was a serious reality check...and a confirmation of what I've been concerned about...

That many of the issues that I've had with people in the last 2 and a half years out of school...

Have involved this conversation in the background...

That I'm just some punk college kid...some Ph.D. wannabe...some overeducated idiot...or whatever...

That rationalizes for people...why I'm not worth listening to...and why I don't know what the fuck I'm talking about...even when I do...

And often...even when I clearly do...and more than the person I'm talking with...

Because often it's not about having an honest and fair conversation...

It's about a big emotional defense...a big chip on peoples' shoulders...that people just don't understand their brilliance...and people with more education than them DEFINITELY don't understand their brilliance...because they've got all that useless education...and they just don't have common sense (meaning they're not stupid enough:):):)...

And it's one long load of bullshit...

That I am far beyond sick and tired of getting from people...

And my attitude at this point is...

If you want to be left behind with all the dumbasses of the world...

Then by all means...

But it wasn't because I didn't try to as nicely as possible bring you into a smarter world...

It's because you were too goddamned stubborn to get over yourself...and to realize that, generally...though I was probably also challenging you...I was also, generally, supporting the hell out of you too (there are some exceptions I can think of to that rule...and they involve people who have been nasty with me with no let up...so they can fuckin' deal, frankly...little fuckin' babies)...

But the truth is that when I say I don't want anyone left behind...

I mean it...

Meaning...

A lot of intellectuals give up on the idea that everyone can be smart...

Because of all the bullshit that I'm dealing with now...

But I believe that everyone is smart, in some way, at least...and everyone can be smart...in the conventional way that we think of smart...

And in the meantime...I don't think it's healthy to have this world of have and have-nots when it comes to smarts...which impacts the world of haves and have-nots in so many other ways, as well...

And the truth is...that though I'm sure I can always get better at this...

That...generally...I am probably one of the coolest motherfuckers that you will meet around this issue...

For one, I really care about people...even when they don't reciprocate...

And I don't condescend people...

But if you're not going to be condescended...

Then you're going to have to deal with being challenged...

Because it's the only way to improve...

And I'm up to the challenge of working at a garage door warehouse...

The question is if the guys I'm with are up to the challenge of learning that things I have to offer to make this place run better...

And I think they are...

And if they're not...then they need to just be honest with me and with themselves about their conceding defeat...

Rather than treating me like shit because they don't want to face their own goddamn egos...

I am really tired of this in my life, frankly...

I haven't had to deal with this like I've had to deal with it until the last couple of years out of grad school...

And saying that it and its consequences for my life have been overwhelming is putting it really mildly...

I've lost jobs over this...I've been treated really seriously unfairly several times over this...at jobs...by friends...by family...by my professors, I'm convinced...by my best friend, up until recently...Brandi...

By everyone I am close to and not so close to in my life...

And it's bullshit...and it's unfair...and I'm tired of it...

And it's about goddamn time that people started doing the tough work...of taking responsibility for their bullshit on this one...

Ayn's Rand wrote a really excellent novel about this theme...it's called Atlas Shrugged (actually it's a theme in much of Ayn's work)...

It's about a engineer -- John Galt -- who convinces brilliant businessmen all over the world...to leave their businesses...and to join him in a secret society of rationalists...to shrug, so to speak...and, as if the Greek hero, Atlas...allow the globe -- that Atlas was fabled to carry on his back -- to fall from their shoulders and to come tumbling down...

And I've been learning that shrugging only goes so far...

That...eventually...people have to start learning to pick up the ball on this one...

And stop being so damned stubborn and self-centered...and stop being such assholes...

To face their bullshit like big people...

And stop treating me like shit...

Because I'm goddamn tired of it...

And I can't keep being friends with people who are going to treat me like shit...and then pretend that they're not really treating me like shit...

If that's what you're doing...FUCK YOU...you deal with your own bullshit...and stop treating me like shit because you feel bad about yourself...

Get over yourself...and get some humility...so you can get smarter...not keep trying to bring me down to make you feel good...which isn't gonna work....for you or for me...

And the irony is...that...generally...I totally support people at what their good at...

Even working a fuckin' tier or loading or staging or whatever the fuck at a fuckin' garage door warehouse...

But most people don't ever support me with a hundreth of the support that I give to them...so much do they take it for granted...

And fuck you for both taking me for granted...and taking all the support I give to you for granted in the meantime...

Face the bullshit...and stop making me eat it...so you won't have to deal with it...

I'm tired of dealing with this...

And if I'm not hanging out...this might have something to do with that, I imagine...

I could talk about this for hours...but I'm not going to...so I don't tax people more than I already tax them...

But I needed to talk about it...

Because it was nice to finally get it out in the open, at work, at least...and get a serious reality check for the bullshit I've been dealing with for the last 2 and a half years...

I hope everyone has a good day:):):)...

Love,
Ben