Vegi pad thai, Miller 1855, and Endless Sunshine on the spotless mind...

Well...I came home and celebrated:):):)...

First...I bragged for about an hour to Melissa like a foul-mouthed sailor about my most recent successes in my classes...getting my first taste of sweet vindication as I recounted just how quickly we've been able to establish a pretty high standard of behavior and a serious focus on academic achievement in a very short period of time in a class for kids dealing with serious behavior and achievement issues...

And, specifically, having one of my kids with the biggest behavioral and academic challenges be one of my brightest stars, this morning...one of the most inspiring things I've ever had happen in a classroom in my life, nevertheless in my teaching career..

And then we ordered take-out from my favorite little Vietnamese place in Lawrence...the best vegi pad thai I've ever had in my entire life (other than my friend Francis' pad thai)...picked up some cheap beer...Miller 1855, which actually turned out to be really good, surprisingly (I just got it because it was cheap and different and I hadn't tasted it before...but it actually turned out to be really good...darker than your typical Miller...definitely the best Miller beer I've ever had in my entire life)...

And came home and watched Endless Sunshine on the spotless mind...one of my favorite little love/break-up stories, and one of the first movies that Melissa and I ever saw together at this really awesome little artsy theater in Milwaukee...

All before Melissa went to go make pot-luck snacks for a going-away party tomorrow at work with her new "friend":):):)...Eric:):):)...I think she's kind of got a crush:):):)...I hope he's a good guy:):):)...

A beautiful way to celebrate a really pretty brilliant day:):):)...and further confirmation, for me, that my efforts and my thoughts are very much on the right track:):):)...

I am such a little bitch, too:):):)...because all I can think that would make this moment even more beautiful...

Would be someone special to share it with...someone with my kind of passion and commitment and thoughtfulness and love for people and life:):):)...

I know it will be powerful once I find it:):):)...

But it's a pain in the ass just sitting around waiting for it...joining pathetic websites for people seeking love...developing crushes on every girl I meet:):):)...watching movies with Kirsten Dunst in her panties:):):)...

When the truth is that I would give anything to have that kind of love, again...for the first time...whatever...

I just want to have my heart pounding so hard that I can barely keep it in my chest...I want to my head to swim so hard I can barely focus on work or anything responsible...I want my priorities to totally shift as I think about spending my life with someone who blows me away as a human being...

That's not too hard to ask, is it?:):):)...

If you haven't seen Endless Sunshine, you definitely should...your life is incomplete without it...I guarantee it:):):)...

Have a great night, everyone:):):)...

Love,
Ben

Can I just say that it kind of sucks not to have someone to celebrate today with?

...that everyone I know is either...

...fighting me...a lot of ego games...a lot stubborness...and a lot of people just not even willing to consider that I might be right about my thinking about people...and they might be wrong...

...just don't get it...they don't share my passion...or enthusiasm...and, very often...just don't care about these kids or kids, period, or people, period, as much as I do...Melissa is supportive...but she's definitely not as passionate about people, generally, or kids, specifically, as I am...

...we're just not talking, right now, for a variety of reasons...many of which have to do with me and who I've been in the past...or who we've been, together, in the case of Brandi...but all of which are very much in the past...but I've just no entre to initiate those relationships again...and they have certainly made no effort...

...Brandi...Tom...Jeannie...Wayne...

Can I say out into the world just how much it sucks that there isn't even one person, that I can think of, right now...that I can share this news...this terrific news about this really great turn-around on this kid (one that I'm sure will have its ebbs and flows...progress and setbacks...in the coming months and years)...which is/was totally unanticipated...and a really great development in the life of a kid needing a lot of love and support, right now, as he grows up in the midst of a very difficult situation...

I shared it with his grandmother...who appreciated it, of course...

But not one other person I know -- not even my parents -- would be very enthusiastic about this kind of thing?...

What does that say about people...

That I would expect that they would treat kind of blase great news about a kid who's been in a lot of trouble...

Cynical, definitely...

Unbelieving...

Self-fulfilling in their prophecies...

Responsible for many of the problems that they bitch about...and do very little substantial and thoughtful with a view of the longest run to do much about...meaning...responsible...without taking much responsibility at all...

Foolish...

And not very much help...that's for damned sure...and sometimes real pains in the asses and obstacles to getting things done better...

Unimaginative...lacking creativity and commitment to really dealing with problems...but having plenty of cynicism to share with any unresolved problem (of which there are many)...

Lost...as Stitch would say from my favorite Disney movie of all time...Lilo and Stitch..."I...am...lost"...

Most people are just kind of lost...

And need some more grace in their lives...

Some hope...

And some passion...

And some belief...

And some love...just like my kid in my class...

And to believe again...

That things can get better...

With a little commitment...a little hope...a little thought...

And a lot of love...

Wishing you all the commitment, hope, thought, and love that your heart can absorb:):):)...and share with the world:):):)...

Love,
Ben

I think I have a little crush...

Today...

We had an I.E.P. meeting...with this counselor that I kind of have a crush on...

Why do I have a crush on this girl, you say?...

Well...ok...she's really cute...

But that's not the reason...there's plenty of cute girls interested in me, at this point...so it takes way more than cute to get my attention, any more...

What impresses me...

Is how much she cares...about the kids...it really endears me...she's forgiving with expectations...my kind of girl...and it really impresses me...

We got to hang out for the day on Tuesday at an I.E.P. inservice...we have a kid that we're both looking out for...and she's just totally endearing me how she believes in this kid even when others don't believe in him to the same degree...

And she and I think very similarly about a lot of our kids...which is that a lot of them just know a different world...that Andrea and I are just more familiar with than other teachers...a younger world...but, more...a more street-based outlook...a world that's not as all polite-society as the world of schools is more familiar with...

So...Andrea is like me...she's sweet...and gritty...all at once...and she really cares about these kids...without feeling like they're from different worlds...while, herself, integrating within her all of the different worlds to which she belongs...a feeling that I very much identify with...

She's not quite as ambitious as me, I don't think...but she's smart...and sweet...and the person in my building that I am most interested in, at this point, other than my hot little principal...

Today...Andrea starts talking all kinds of black while we're bragging on this kid that we were reviewing for his I.E.P. (his Individualized Education Plan)...I forgot to mention that Andrea is black...and a very attractive black woman, at that...

And I know she's thinks I'm cute...she's got that look in her eye whenever she sees me, now...I'm sure I do, too:):)...

Anyway...she's talking all kinds of black and it is awesome...because she's surrounded by three educated, middle class white folks...and she's just letting her hair down...and I'm totally falling in love with her while she's doing it:):):)...

Very much like me...Andrea is very polite and very articulate...and it takes a little time for her to let her hair down and just be herself, completely...until she trusts you:):):)...

But today was her day:):):)...

I wanted to fuckin' reach across the table and fuckin' kiss her mid-sentence the entire fuckin' time:):):)...

Whew...this girl's got me sprung, a little bit:):):)...

Because every time I look at her...I think...goddamn, she cares about these kids...

And that's what I'm looking for...

That kind of heart...

And lips like hers, too...

Goddamn...umm...

It may just turn out to be another fleeting crush...all the others have:):):)...

But she's a pretty special girl:):):):)...I hope she finds someone to make her happy:):):)...

I better go and get some lesson plans prepared:):):)...

Have a great day, everyone:):):)...

Love,
Ben

A better day...

Today was a far better day...

I kind of processed what I felt like was something of a set-back in terms of prioritizing what matters in schools that happened in my school, recently...

And I was feeling better...first of all...

But more than that...

One of my kids...that just got out of a long term discipline situation...who was really difficult, behaviorally, in that discipline situation...has just come back to class this week...

And today...he was on fire...

He's not only the best behaved student in class...

He's figuring out the fraction work we're doing better than anyone in class...including the students who are the traditional leads in class...

I make a point of it in class...how's he's the new star of the class...

Because you got to understand...

This is a kid who -- because of behavior -- has likely never been the star kid in any class...

And today...he was on fire...

It was one of the most inspiring moments I've had as a teacher...

Like I said...you'd just have to know how this kid behaved before he joined our class...from persistently defiant...to the best behaved kid in class...

My philosophy in dealing with students...

You are responsible for your behavior...and I am responsible for mine...

And I am just here to remind you to be responsible for your behavior...

And this kid...has stepped up to that expectation...rather than me stepping down to his lower expectations of himself...

And it's inspiring to watch it happen:):):)...

Also...today my team was out for an inservice training in the process for deciding if a student needs an individualized education program...

So I'm collaborating with substitute teachers, all day, to be the only behavioral check that kids have, in the room, who has seen them consistently, for awhile, now...so no getting over on the substitute...

And the stark contrast between my class...who have behaved very well for substitutes...which is the consistent feedback I've gotten at this point...and kids in other classes...tells me that my class running itself very smoothly...

And that's how a class should work...

Students...children...should, as much as possible, be responsible for their own behavior...and teachers...or parents...or other adults...should just be grown-ups in the vicinity to remind them to be responsible for themselves...as well as to lead the class or the activities, of course...

And my experience, today, confirmed for me that we have been very successful in my class -- Ms. Simmons, my paraprofessional, and I -- in facilitating and teaching and preparing kids to be responsible for themselves...even if I'm not in the room...

Very inspiring stuff...

And the best part of all...

My class is the special education class, remember...

My class is the class where well over 50% of my students are there because of serious enough behavior problems that it got them taken out of general education classes...

I'm very proud...of my efforts...of the kids' efforts...of Ms. Simmon's efforts...of all of our efforts...and all in such a short amount of time (I've only been here since November, remember)...

The conflict I had two days ago is since resolved...far less ideally than I would want...but better than where we started...

And I've made my peace with the compromise...

And in the meantime...I have no doubts about my teaching abilities, at this point...I know I'm young...I know it's only two months into my career...

But I have far beyond proven my abilities at this point...

Did I mention that I fuckin' love my principal, who is as much responsible for my success as anyone else in the building...whose support I could not have been this successful without...who's love and support and keen, smart, street-wise and world-wise mind I could not have done this well without...

Freda Ogburn is, by far, the most impressive principal that I have ever worked with in my entire life...she's a Ph.D...she takes learning seriously...she cares so deeply about these kids so many years after she started teaching...without a hint of cynicism at all, really (it's really pretty remarkable)...she's sweet and sensitive and vulnerable...in public, no less...all of this...and if she was single, I would have asked her out long before writing this...she's really incredible...and it's an honor to work with her, really...on top of all that, she's really attractive...she's probably in her late 40's, early 50's...and she is gorgeous...like a serious hottie...some people just have it all...doesn't it make you sick?:):):):):)LOL:):):):):)...she's incredible...

Freda Ogburn is the first principal in my life (and I've had some good ones...Keith Wilson at Jardine-Edison Junior Academy in Wichita, Kansas comes to mind...as does Michelle Whooten at BRIDGES, a last-stop alternative school in Kansas City, Kansas)...Freda is the first principal...to plant the seed in my own mind...of perhaps wanting to be a principal, one day...I've never, ever, in my entire life, had that impulse before...and Freda is the first person to inspire me in that direction...a direction I just may end up taking before I become a researcher and professor...or maybe while...who knows what might be possible (given real time and responsibility restraints, of course)...

That really says something to me about a principal...because I've never had one, ever, as a student or as a teacher...who I so admired...

And who has taught me so much:):)...

God I fuckin' love this work:):):)...

Now I just need someone to share this life with:):):)...

Whoever she is...

I hope to never again make a woman sorry for committing her life with mine...ever again...

I hope to earn the love and trust of someone like Freda...but single:):):)...she is my new gold standard for a woman that I admire:):):)...

I wonder if she realizes just how much I respect her...

I've got to plan some classes:):):)...

Have a great day, everyone:):):)...

Love,
Ben

Why the fucked up assymetry in the world?...

Do the dumbasses and the cowards always determine how things go in life?...

I do think that individuals matter...though the ones that really matter usually get treated like total shit, I'm learning...

But why is it that dumbasses and cowards have such a fuckin' hard time following the lead of their betters?...

Me...if I think someone is better than me at something, I'll generally follow their lead...at least at whatever I think they are better at doing...at least if there are no other examples or options available...

And I have as low a bullshit relationship with people as possible...

Meaning...in my heart...I don't follow anything you do until I trust you know what you're doing...everything else is just a compromise until I get away from you...which will be as soon as possible, generally...

But the no bullshit conversation would go like this...

"You know what you're doing better, I'll follow you more...and still double-check to make sure that I think you know what you're doing...and still look for better models and examples to follow until I'm confident that yours is the one I trust most...and even then it's not absolute...it's only at those things I think you do better"...

"And if I stop following you...it's because I think you are either completely full of shit...or full of shit enough that you don't have much, substantially, to offer me any more"...


"And generally I still hang out with you...unless you become an utterly worthless asshole trying to impose your will when you aren't good enough to back up your ideas with a better example and better real life experience to demonstrate that you have better ideas...or at least a better ability to engage the conversation that humbly acknowledges when you don't know what you're doing"...

I know many, many, many, many people in that latter category...self-deluded assholes who what to assert their entitlement to my trust without earning it...

The technical name for that category of person, I believe, is worthless...and it's the most annoying quality I can discover in a person, I think, other than murderer or terrorist or such...

I would...once...once in my entire fuckin' life...

Meet someone who was confident in themselves and their ideas for good reason...because they know what they're doing...and when they don't...because they have the balls to ask themselves the hard questions and admit when they don't...

Just once I'd like to meet a person like that...it's such a fuckin' rarity...

And the reason why I want people like that in my life...and why I get tired of people not like that in my life...

Is because I get easily bored of the bullshit...

There are a million times when I want to tell someone...

"Who gives a shit what you think when you clearly no fuckin' clue about what you're talking about"...or..."Who's gives a shit what you're talkinga about when you are clearly bullshitting me and yourself"...

But I don't...because I'm a nice guy...and I just let people go on in their clear self-delusion...until and if I feel comfortable calling bullshit...

Maybe that's why so many adults feel the need to compel others to follow their wishes...

Because they are so fuckin' full of shit...that their scared that noone will want to follow them, otherwise...

And you know what I have to say about such bullshit?...

Pathetic...you fuckin' loser...

Get better and people will follow you're example, more...

And bet that it has something to do with them not trusting that you are as competent as you need to be to earn that trust...

And too fuckin' bad until you get that competent...

Earn it...

Love,
Ben

It turns out that it actually doesn't matter...

I've decided to stop fighting...and to stop giving a shit...

I am tired of mediocre colleauges constantly dumbing me down...because they just can't take the smart advise...

And I've just decided that it really doesn't matter...

Which means I just need to find a way to independent wealth and get away from the losers who just can't face when they're efforts fail and their ideas suck...

There is no way to make things better...

Because noone really wants things to be better...

They'd rather stubbornly defend all the ways that made things bad in the first place...

And I just don't care any more...

Good luck to all the losers defending -- or should I say whining and bitching while simultaneously defending all the shit that keeps in place what you're whining and bitching about because you were too dumb and cowardly to think bigger than the situation you were in so you don't keep dealing with the same problems -- what a shitty world we live in...

You're gonna need it...

Ben

The harder they fall...the more difficult it is to learn the lesson...

I had a really difficult experience in school, today...

That reinforced a very important lesson for me...

The reason to soften a blow...

Is because the harder someone falls...typically...in my experience...

The more difficult it is for them to learn whatever lessons need to be learned...

We just had a really great conversation, today, about why all people both resist and need some sort of authority...and why some kids, in particular, have a harder time with authority than others...and how to better facilitate conversations that lead everyone -- but especially those who struggle with authority most -- to respect authority...even when you disagree with it (and even when you want to change it, as I and I'm sure many people want to do, always...in fact...as much as anything...I want to change peoples' general relationship with authority, turning to it only when they absolutely need it...to intervene with current violence and prevent future violence (and only then when it is necessary)...and at no other time...everything else being compromise, I think...and finding ways to be grownups dealing with difficult matters of life without always turning to authority...and legal and political and economic and military armtwisting to get our way...especially when it clearly has the opposite or worse consequences than we expected (and could expect with less coercive alternatives)...

And today I had reinforced for me why such armtwisting is so counterproductive...not only because it means bullying our way through issues that need to be decided on their merits...

But because it undermines itself, eventually...because people not only stop respecting and trusting authority that armtwists and deceives its way through matters (hence the credibility problems the Administration faces now and has faced now for some time)...

But because it makes it harder...in situations where authority is used for a good cause...for the people involved to learn the lesson...

Campaign finance reform is both the highest level of hypocrisy on this that I can think of...and where this last point is most obvious...

Is anyone under any illusion that pursuing Tom Delay has substantively advanced the cause of campaign finance reform -- that is a good cause as a matter of example, that Bill Bradley, for one, set a high standard on in 2000...but which all his colleagues just look like recalcitrant hyporcrits on since they go after Republicans with the very same skeletons in their own closets...pretending all the while that the matter is on principle when it is very clearly and without a doubt political -- I hope not...because if you think that anyone has been persuaded of the need to have ideas rather than money or power animate elections out of this whole deal...you are living in a fantasy world...

Even though Tom Delay is clearly a power-monger who used money to hog up all that power...

It's just that fighting that battle legally has just put Republicans on the defensive (and Democrats, too, to be honest...do you hear any Democrats talking honestly, at this point, about how both parties are guilty of what Tom Delay is accused of in Texas?...of course not...they don't want to go to jail...does it make it less true that Democrats are as guilty as Republicans on the things Tom Delay is accused of?...obviously not, to anyone who knows anything about this issue)...

And that story...the story of the failure of campaign finance reform laws...

Is the story of humanity...

The harder we try to take someone down...

The more difficult it is for them to learn the lesson...

And the reason why it is so easy to stick by my guns on this...

Is that I'm not advocating for anything, really...

Except that we recognize it better...

So we can stop making the same stupid mistakes around it...

Denying the failure that I'm talking about...pretending like it doesn't exist...

Whether it be campaign finance laws...or gun control...or drug laws...or No Child Left Behind...or the Individuals with Disabilities Act...

Or anywhere where authority is used where it both isn't the best solution...

And where it often interferes with the substantive conversation that needs to take place to get to better solutions...

As, sadly...is more often the case in politics, many times...is the rule, so to speak...rather than the exception...

Authority is respected, more...where people value it...as a matter of self-governance...as a matter of an internalized appreciation of the spirit of the law...of the aspirations of the wiser uses of authority...

And in the meantime...authority gets used in a lot of arbitrary, petty ways...that have nothing to do with doing good...

And today...reflecting on my own experiences...and reflecting on the failure of a colleague to come to terms with some pretty clear failures on her part that are recognized widely by her colleagues...but which she, herself, is thoroughly oblivious to...

And realizing just how much this colleague's life is run on fear...fear of what others think...fear of getting in trouble...fear of parents...fear of students...fear of fellow teachers...fear of administrators...fear of failure...and fear of life outside of school...

It just seems to so sad to me...just what a waste of one's life it is to be so afraid of life...of the world...

And when I think of all of the challenges I've faced in my own life...

I'll always remember that this is the virtue of my lie that I must always appreciate the most...

Everything I do...I do it because it's the right thing to do...and no other reason...because I choose my life...I am not afraid...

And in the context of that freedom...I choose a far more responsible life...than most people ever even aspire to...

That is a life I wish for others, as well...

But it is a virtue of my own life that I always have to remember...when I struggle to remember why I chose this life...as I did this afternoon...

I was tired of being afraid...especially when I was so clearly in good faith...

I hope others are tired of being afraid, too...so they can give up the fear...

But if they don't...

My life as I've lived it...is worth it...for that reason...if for no other...

When I was in grad school...

I would listen to Tom...my advisor, and professor...speak passionately in class...about how everyone was always out of compliance with this and such law...disability law was generally what we were talking about, since it was special education...

And would listen to Tom go on and on (as he had a tendency to do) about how the world was always coming to an end with everyone out of compliance...even as Tom, himself, was the master circumventer of university and grant rules and regulations...always bobbing and weaving his way through university rules...often for good reason...

And reading Tom Skrtic's work is like reading one long excuse for why schools could never really improve themselves...except in Tom's world...the sky was always falling as they failed to...

Rather than life being one long road of trying to figure out...how to accomplish the goals that we want and need to accomplish...

It is true that the stakes are high in policy...that's why we call it policy...it would reach our level of attention if the stakes weren't high...but we will survive...as we persistently do...through our failures...until we develop more successful ideas for dealing with the challenges in front of us...

I guarantee...

That you could pass a law...against terrorism...today...

And there would still be terrorism tomorrow...

Guaranteed...

Because only works...when it works...which is not nearly as often as advocates of various laws would like to believe...

It only works...

Based on the good faith efforts of average citizens to fulfill the spirit of the law...as they struggle to understand its purposes...and probably not really able to fulfill the spirit of the law...until they more fully understand its purposes...

I listened to Judge Samuel Alito's very eloquent remarks, today...about America being a place where noone -- no matter how powerful -- was above the law...

And what an important bedrock for America and democracy that principle was/is...

And recognize why people who take democracy seriously...take that principle so seriously, because of how important it was/is in distinguishing a fundamental of democracy...

...of equality...equality before the law...and before our fellow citizens...

But I also recognize...

That we must accept the realities of the shortcomings of that principle...as it confronts a real world...that doesn't always fall within the law...and often for good reason...

Since the law so clearly conflicts with the other much more important principle of that American Revolution...

Independence...and freedom...and peoples' need to independently develop their own ideas of what to do with that freedom...to be more responsible citizens...and people...and neighbors...

And the openness that democracy creates...for people to develop those ideas over time...

And not staticly...and stubbornly...attach more significance to those laws...than they really deserve...

Ultimately...democracy is to allow people to develop a more independent conscience...a more independent and self-governed sense of themselves...

And anything that frustrates that...

Will always fall short of the reality of a world where people do good...for its own sake...

I love hearing Christians rationalize...as I have this weekend...talking with a preacher walking through our neighborhood...and talking with a janitor at our school, here...that being good is not the important thing...it's accepting Jesus Christ into your heart...

As if somehow Eric Rudolph can accept Jesus, blow up abortion clinics and gay clubs, and be saved...

But Mohatma Ghandi or Elie Wiesel or a million other great non-Christians...

Are all going to hell:):):)LOL:):):)...

As if being good for its own sake...

Was something you could circumvent...

By just believing in the right Messiah...

There's no way around this one...

Being a good person for its own sake...

Is the only thing that counts in this world, really...

Everything else is just bullshit...

No matter which way you cut it...

And I've heard it cut a million different ways...

And they're all just a million different ways...to cut the same bullshit...

And always will be...for time immemorial...

Until we take the business...of people taking being good seriouslly...for its own sake...and for no other reason...seriously enough...to make it a reality...

And until then...my example...will be of someone who took it seriously...whether and how others rationalize their ugliness...or not...

And the biggest benefit that comes from living that life...

Is that someday...I get to spend the rest of my life...with someone I really trust...just like I trust myself...

And today, I learned a little bit better...to trust myself a little bit more...because I just won't live my life...any other way...

Have a great day, everyone:):):)...

Love,
Ben

My kids were on fire and I had nothing to do with it...

I had an all-day inservice on I.E.P.'s (Individualized Educational Plans) today...

So I prepared an extensive lesson for the substitute, today...

And I don't know what was in the water with those kids, today...

But they were on fire...

I come back to school dying to know how they did, today...two of them got sent out of class one special education teacher tells me...so I'm a little disappointed...

But then I look at their work in class (we keep folders with all their work every day)...

And they are solving equivalent fractions left and right...they're all over it...one student has her answer space covered in equivalent fractions far and above what the question asked her to do...

I scheduled some time for them to play a game they love playing...it's called Pizza Party...and it involves pizza pieces in the form of fractions that the kids use to learn about fractions tangibly...

And it doesn't even look like they touched that game...

They just spent the whole time doing equivalent fractions...and they did me proud...

Tomorrow we talk about what went well...my para-professional, Ms. Simmons, and the sub, Mr. Rainey, were both here...and whatever they did was great...and I'd love to hear what went great from the kids, too...

Do you know how much I want these kids to succeed?...in my math class...in school...in life...

Do you know how frustrated I get with every single unnecessary road block to that success?...including and especially the road blocks they create themselves?...

I want every single kid...no matter how far behind their peers they are, at this moment...

I want them all to succeed...and to love school...

They may or may not succeed equally...

And if some of these kids take on the kind of self-motivation and big dreams that it takes to succeed in school and in life...they could surpass their peers if they wanted to...

But getting them there will take a lot of work on mine and their part...

And choosing to do so on their part...

It's the most frustrating part about being a teacher...for every teacher...that you can't choose for your students...

But the mixed blessing in that is that one or two and hopefully all of those students...will come back to report that they are not only meeting and exceeding your expectations...

But they are kicking your lilly white ass beating those expectations...

And that's when you know that you've succeeded as a teacher...

When your students are kicking your sorry little ass...

I've got work to do to get my students to take on that challenge...

And in the meantime...

I've got a classroom full of 6th grade special education students...

On fire with equivalent fractions...

As Ice Cube would say...freaking niggas every way like M.J...I can't believe today was a good day...

Love,
Ben>

I am kicking ass and taking names...

I am a born teacher, I'm convinced (though an awful lot of fuckin' work went into to my efforts)...

Things are going extremely well, here at Eisenhower...my classes are going very, very well...the behavior in my class -- which is a special ed class where at least 50% of my kids are there because of serious behavior problems that got them removed from previous general education situations -- is better than most of the general education classes I work with...and though these kids are starting out low...my goal is for them to compete with the other general ed math classes on the next Kansas math assessments...that's my goal, at least...we'll see how they do:):)...I haven't seen breakdowns on this last test for my kids, individually or as a class (though I know they did terribly since I received the practice test like two days before we were to take this pre-test, and we were nowhere close to prepared for that test)...I do know they were aggregated with the 6th grade math class that performed best among 6th graders...so we'll see...I've requested a disaggregation for my kids...and we have ambitious goals...so we'll see...

I'm working on planning a field trip this semester with the kids to interesting, exciting, and/or purposeful workplaces where they can see school-smarts (and math, in particular, as well) in action...my para has a brother-in-law who works for Mercedes-Benz...and while I'm looking into classes at University of Missouri - Kansas City, to finish my certification, I'll look at opportunities to show them around there as well:):)...

My goal is to give them the best, most interesting, most exciting, most purposeful workplace visiting experiences we can create for them to get a concrete experience of the future that education can create for them...to take them to places where math and reading and social studies and science and music and physical education and any and all school class situations might prepare them for...and to demonstrate in some concrete detail where and how school matters in their lives:):)...

And...as much as possible...to do that with people who actually believes school matters...and whose example demonstrates that...I can't say that that was exemplified very well even by most of my university professors, by my standards...but perhaps knowing that a group of kids are coming to learn that lesson might inspire some adults to reflect and understand and effectively communicate that to kids...that's the hope, at least:):)...

Least possible necessary aggression has clearly made a difference here at Eisenhower Middle School (and a school discipline system that roughly match the principles, and teachers and administrators who are supportive and ambitious)...and my own efforts, too, of course:):)...

No ivory tower bullshit for me, thank you very fuckin' much...I'm developing ideas that work...and when they don't...I face up honestly...and develop better ideas, over time...

Right now, though...I am both one of the more respected and more popular teachers at Eisenhower in a very short period of time...I'll take the first long before the second...but the second doesn't hurt, either...school's just a more honest place than most places...so popularity is not as loaded with bullshit as it is in the world outside of school...which is so loaded with bullshit, I'm surprised most people can tell the difference between honesty and their own bullshit, most of the time:):):)...

I have also decided...after much thought...and after sharing the story many times, now...

That...though I don't think that I could have done much more with grad school than I did when I was there...

That...with some experience and maturity and thought...that I would do grad school over again, today, if I could...I would have made a lot fewer mistakes as a young man...I would have put up with Tom, more...I would have recognized his good faith efforts to be a better teacher and advisor, better...I would have worked to support him, better, to be a better advisor and professor rather than leaving him and my program out of frustration...

I can only see these things in retrospect with the experience of hindsight and experience and more wisdom...which is how a lot of lessons get learned, I appreciate better, today...

I don't want to rationalize my mistakes as a grad student and as a young man growing up...fucking up my relationship with Brandi was the biggest fuck-up of that time...but there were many fuck-ups in my relationship with Tom and my professors and my fellow grad students, as well...a lot of lessons have to be learned the hard way, I'm learning...by experience...but I'd rather learn them than not...

And I don't want to rationalize just how shitty Tom often treated me when I was at KU...or how much he and Wayne, more than Jeannie (by the end, I had three co-advisors...though she did lack courage, there at the end) ignored my concerns with how my program was going when I raised them...how they condescended me, which was particularly galling to me since they were not doing academic work even close to my caliber...and, largely out of insecurity and an inability to acknowledge just how strong a thinker and a teacher I was, ran roughshot over me, much of the time...a feeling that I got used to after I left school and discovered that the whole fuckin' world is a bunch as petty assholes and son-a-bitches who treat people like me like shit all the fuckin' time (hence the reason why Zenobia Washington teaching us Billy Budd my senior year of high school is so important to me now...since this is the theme of Billy Budd...that good and decent people often get treated like shit by not-so-good-and-decent-people because they are good and decent and for no other reason)...

But the truth is that I had a lot of growing up to do and maturity that I have since gained over time that I could have done in school, had I stuck with it or had a better example...of which I had neither, frankly, at the time...so I had to learn on my own with a lot of hard knocks...and a lot of reflection...

And the biggest lesson I've learned from the whole experience...is that once the person with the highest standard (which was me, in the case of my grad school experience, of all my professors and fellow students) lowers that standard...then everyone goes to shit...everyone with a lower standard lowers it even further...as was the case with Tom and my professors and even fellow grad students, as well, after I left school...

It's time for me to consider a different program to do my certification work in, I think, since I just think my relationships with Tom and the grad school at KU are just too soured to work any more at those relationships without effort on their part (which I'm not seeing at this point)...

And I'm thinking, after that experience, that perhaps a more formal policy Ph.D. program would be better to finish my Ph.D. work in, with an advisor I can trust...and I'll be very picky about that last part, this time...I only needed to get burned on that one, once, to learn that lesson...I'm going to go back to Wichita, in the next few weeks or so, and talk with my undergrad thesis advisor, David Ericson, who is a political science professor, about who I might do a Ph.D. program with...Dr. Ericson is the professor who pointed me in the direction of Paul Peterson's work at Harvard (though I had no clue, at the time, and I don't know if Dr. Ericson did either, that his primary work is in education policy...perhaps he did)...

I like how Harvard's graduate program is set up...how much freedom it offers its graduates...

But I would rather find a public university...I genuinely believe -- after some experience in both private and public schools and universities -- that public schools and universities are better...and I would rather do any formal studying I might do in a public university as much as teach in a public school...

But finding one that I trust will be a chore...and not one that I'm in a hurry to complete since my work is far and above most professors I've ever worked with or met, I think...and I'm not worried that I'm missing out on anything, at this point, except that I might like to learn more in some classes, to do a formal dissertation and thesis, and to graduate and have my parents and others see me graduate...

I'll be thinking about it...and talking about it with Dr. Ericson when I find time to go meet with him...

I bring with me the pretty compelling ability to secure grant money, I think...and I'm sure I could likely win a Spencer grant or similar grant money for my work, especially given successful experiences as well as compelling theoretical work, at this point...so I could likely get my grad education paid for with some hard work...

And if I'm going back to school (as with finding a new mate)...I want to make sure that I'm working with the best...and in neither situation, have I been working with the best in the past, I'm convinced...

I want a mate who will support me as well or better as I would support them (a challenge that no woman has ever been able to meet at this point...and I, at least, want a woman who will aspire in a serious way that leaves Brandi Fisher in the dust...I have done so, at this point...and I want a significant other who will do the same)...

And I want teachers who will support me as well or better as I would support them...none of whom I have met, at this point...

Brandi and Tom and the faculty at KU tried...but none of them even came close to living up...

And it is my challenge to find people who will...

And if they can't...

Who aspire...

I haven't met those people yet...

But goddamn if I'm going to drop my standards just because everyone else is doing it, these days...

You know what I say to everyone rationalizing why they're being such shitheads these days?...

Fuck 'em...

I'll be holding my standards high, motherfuckers...

And you don't want to follow...

Then so fuckin' be it...

And I'll just keep racing right the fuck past you, dumbass...

Because dumbass rationalizations only last...

Until they see the break of dawn...

And dawn has to come sometime...for everyone...

That's how progress happens, I'm learning...

Some of us are just far ahead of the curve:):):)...

It's after 8PM here at Eisenhower...I should probably head home before Melissa starts to wonder where the fuck I am:):):)...

Have a great day, everyone...

Love,
Ben

You ever think...

...that maybe you understand why someone may seem and maybe are/were acting petty...when they really also might be looking out for you?...

I just got that feeling, today...

And...underneath all the pettiness...of which there is/was much...I appreciate the part of these people looking after me:):)...

You had to be there:):):)...

Love,
Ben

The court battle over vouchers...

I'm sure that this is far from the last time that we have heard this case...

Florida Supreme Court strikes down voucher program...

The U.S. Supreme Court affirm the Milwaukee voucher program over similar objections...I would be surprised if voucher advocates don't take this case to that same court...

In the meantime...what are public schools so afraid of, I have to wonder?...

Not enough money, is the best answer I've heard...

The biggest problem with that argument being the failure of liberals and others who oppose opening up the public school system to come to terms with the fact that taxation will always be resisted to fund public schools...more autonomous funding -- as with other non-profit institutions...universities being a key similar institution -- would far better serve public schools than wasting resources fighting vouchers...

Voucher advocates, I must admit, are on much surer footing when they are advocating private vouchers fundraised in the private market rather than grabbing for public money...but I also don't see why public school students and parents ought not be able to take the money with them to whatever schools serve them best...

As Paul Peterson, William Howell, Christopher Jencks, Chester Finn, and other voucher advocates have argued powerfully...

Funding of public schools, ultimately, should serve children...not schools...and when schools are failing children...children should be able to use that money to find other schools to serve them better...

More money is the consistent case made by public school officials...a case I agree with, generally (though public schools have all kinds of places where their failures create some of those money problems...lawsuits like this one being just one example)...and there is a very fine line between taxation and voluntary fundraising...one involving coercion...and the other offered freely...though American citizens are so, generally, opposed to increased taxation that advocates of more funding have to do a lot of persuading to get taxpayers to spend more money on public schools...

And, in the meantime...as with other non-profit institutions...there is no reason that public schools can't be responsible for raising money more directly and more effectively autonomously rather than through coercive taxation...though it will be a slow process getting to that point, I'm sure...

In the meantime...I and most Americans, I think, are tired of public schools using the excuse of "never enough funding" to avoid facing their failures...and the failures of students and parents, along with teachers and administrators, especially in poor districts...

Pitying students does not teach them...and learning for the future is far more important than reinforcing that kind of pity...and self-pity...

Wealth equity issues must be addressed...obviously...but they're not going to get addressed overnight...and addressing them is complex and needs to happen, much more substatially, primarily, and ultimately, I think, in the private market...rather than through government redistribution...

And ignoring the obvious -- which is the failure of too many public schools and public school students, teachers, parents, and administrators to take the highest standards of education more seriously than the politics of wealth equity -- will not earn the confidence of the public that schools want funding from in quite the same way that actually earning that trust will...by taking those standards more seriously than less important matters, like wealth equity, schools can earn public support in a way that have far more potential to raise funding and substatially improve student and teacher performance than more taxes ever could...or a greater share of the public school dollars, as this case is an attempt by public schools in Florida to maintain...superintendent pay in public schools isn't high enough, I hear...three-digit incomes are just a little paltry for those poor souls...same goes for all the lawyers who make all kinds of money off of cases just like this one and a million others (with cases ranging from special education to desegregation orders)...

Meanwhile...the measley little salaries of a beginning public school teacher, like myself, in Florida, improves not a smidge by this ruling...though the lawyers involved made plenty of income off this court battle, I'm sure...

And what gets lost in all of this...

Is the most substantial opportunities for raising standards for all kids' educations...kids in public schools...and kids in private schools...it's almost as if voucher and charter opponents would rather see private and charter schools and their students fail...rather than share the wealth...

Ironic that so many of the people we're talking about are liberals, isn't it?...

Share the wealth...except for ours', that is...

No matter...

The most substantial efforts to improve education in America, public or private...

Occurs in classrooms, not courtrooms...

It would be nice if this is where are money got spent...

But instead it gets spent on court battles like this one...

This one isn't over, I'm sure...and neither is the issue dead, by a long shot...

Though those of us who are more concerned with improving public and private schools than with the politics of the matter may want to spend more time on those substantial efforts...rather than political and legal battles over funding...

There is plenty of money in America to fund all schools and then some...by a large margin...

The real efforts in education reform...

Are around earning the trust which such money follows...

Have a great day, everyone:):)...

Love,
Ben

Coming to terms with just how rare really strong thought is...

I can't sleep...even though I have to wake up and work in just 2 hours or so...tomorrow's going to be fun, I can tell...

But I am grateful for my resurgent idealism...

I'm beginning to come to terms with just how rare really strong thought is...how rarely people aspire for it...and how important it is that people be accountable to it...because it's the only and better alternative to all our dumbass brutishness...

I do believe that everyone is capable of brilliance...but I am coming to terms with how rarely people aspire to it...which is what makes it rare more the many various alternative explanations...a biological proclivity...madness as a spark for genius...and the other million different excuses that most people have for why they don't aspire for brilliance, even though it's important in every endeavor...no matter how mundane...

People like Joe Nye stand out because they're so goddamned good...and they're so goddamned good...because they aspired...and they didn't let the nay-saying hold them back...

It's so sad...we just had a discussion, today, in our teacher inservice about why academically successful black children are accused of "acting white" by their peers...and the sad truth is that so many kids...like so many adults...are just insecure...about their intelligence and their abilities as much as about themselves...and instead of seeking to improve their abilities to deal with that insecurity...they seek to bring others down who have talents that they lack...

It's so sad...

And it is how so many people in the world, nevertheless in schools, live their lives...

And the saddest part about it...is that intelligence matters to everything we do...from international policy...to education policy...to military security...to criminology...to fixing cars...to being a decent fisherman...to being a decent teacher and parent...

It matters to everything, really...

But we all live these separate lives...

Because some of us get convinced that there are smart people and dumb people, and they are on one side of the tracks or the other...

Rather than everyone taking thought and learning seriously...

My commitment is to reducing and ending that separation and the subsequent achievement gap in schools and in life that grows out of it...

But I have to say that there is so much to overcome on that one...attitudinally as much as around changing peoples' commitments...and changing relationships between teachers and students so that they both believe this, more...and so that they each have sufficient freedom to bring it into fruition...

Creating a society where brilliance is the soft but real expectation for everyone...will take a lot of time and patience and freedom...in schools as much as in the choices parents and students make about schools...

But it is the only real alternative to a world that is constantly rationalizing its baser, meaner, nastier, dumber instincts...no matter how many people get hurt in the process...and no matter how ineffective those instincts are to accomplishing the goals people desire...

It is the "illusionism" that Joe Nye speaks of in that National Interest article...the failure of people to see how their intentions are not leading to the consequences they desire...

And as I've wrestled with whether or not to trust my judgment...my instincts...my thoughts...my idealism...

Whether it's me that is deluded and the world that is just dandy...and as I am perpetually open to the idea that there are things that I'm just not seeing, yet...

When I think about how rare it is, in the broadest picture, to read someone like Joe...or Benjamin Barber...or Stephen Ambrose...or Amartya Sen...or Abraham Maslow...or Joseph Campbell...

People who have these brilliant insights into the world...

That so few people really have...

The more confident I become that I will be one of those folks, with time...as my ideas and thinking get recognized...

Friedrich Hayek had a really hard time getting hired in economics departments until the University of Chicago hired him...

But what distinguishes folks like Hayek...and more folks like Sen or Nye or Maslow...

Is just how deep and profound their insights are for humanity...

It is disappointing for me to discover just how few people aspire to engage and develop and have such insights...

But it also makes it easier to see just who has more valuable things to say, generally...

And what's interesting...is just how much the best people get recognized, eventually...no matter where they started off...

It is good to see people aspire more...people like the teachers I work with...and my family members...and the friends I engage on various internet forums...and the various groups I've belonged to...and even my lame ass friends (they know who I'm talking about) here in Lawrence, when they have aspired...

But it is really rare to read or meet people...who's insights are so truly profound...that they change the way that you look at the world...

But I do have to say that...

If we can't create a world...where all liberals can appreciate the brilliance of a thinker like Friedrich Hayek, more...

Or where all conservatives can't appreciate the brilliance of Amartya Sen, more...

And where they try to bully one another, instead...

Then the ideas aren't for naught...that's for sure...they're the only thing keeping us afloat in this god-forsaken dysfunctional world...

But the less thoughtful bullies of the world do blunt the impact of great ideas...and make their implementation more difficult...and cause a lot of damage and havok and chaos, in the meantime...

And all for naught...always claiming credit where they don't deserve it...and always overlooking their failures...to keep their defenses in tact...to avoid constructive criticism...and maintaining the cycle...of failure and whining and blame...

Until it can finally give way to more thought...

And that's all she wrote on that one...

Either we'll learn the lessons on this...

Or we'll keep living with the sorry-ass consequences...

All of us...

Though some of us at the expense of others...

But all of us being bankrupted by the cynicism...and the lack of thought...and the lack of openness to being wrong...

For all of the hassle that this life I've chosen has caused me...which is beyond plenty, for me...

I'm glad I've chosen a life of the strongest ideas and the highest ideals...

Because every other life just seems so bankrupt, in comparison...

I don't think it has to be that way...

I think we can all learn to appreciate, better, what each of us has to offer...including our engagement...and criticism...and disagreement...when they are fair-minded and constructive...

But as we build that world...

This life of big ideas is the only one that I think I could ever inhabit and be most deeply humbled and proud of my efforts...and the efforts of like-minded folks...

And the big advantage of casting a broad net for the best ideas...

Is that it makes is so much more clear just how rare and impressive are those folks who have something really profound to contribute...

I respect all of the various doers in the world...from the janitor and the convenience store clerk...to the entrepreneur and the political activist...to the teacher and the police officer and the military serviceperson...to the scholar and the professor and the researcher...

But the people with the really big ideas in the world...who are always doers and thinkers, which is the only thing that makes great ideas possible...great thinkers can't help but being doers because its the only thing that informs better thinking...everything else is too abstract to be useful...which is the fate of the thought of most scholars and non-scholars alike...

But great thinkers and doers...are the folks in this world I admire most...

The people who change the world against all odds...and who imagine better worlds...and think carefully about how to create them and make them better...

By inspiring and leading others to take on those ideas...and make them reality...

And that is where real leadership is and always has been in the world...and the only kind of leadership that sustains itself over the long haul...

I better sleep for a little bit before I have to go to work...

Have a great day, everyone:):)...

Love,
Ben

Tired of hedging idealism with fear...

We had a first day back to school, today...an inservice for teachers...and an afternoon to work on grades...

A million new pieces of bureaucratic minutia made its way past me, today, totally overwhelming me...

And I'm thinking...

Has everyone just totally lost track of the really serious thinking and learning that should be the largest focus of schools?...

I don't mind doing less important paperwork...

But the idea that it would overwhelm our more important purposes of more serious teaching and learning in schools is just too much for me...

In so many ways...what has changed in my outlook this time around in schools...is both a grounded realism about the importance of schools and education to real life outside of schools...

And this persistent fear of being treated arbitrarily if I aspire to excell beyond the more minimal expectations of others because of a more small-minded outlook by folks like my graduate advisor, my bosses at CLO, and my bosses at Zarco (who has since apologized to me, by the way)...

My idealism to do good in the world...has been totally hedged by a fear of whether I can pay my rent...

And I just can't live that way...it's such a pathetic existence...and it leads me down the painfully stupid life that so many adults settle for of having their best years be behind them...and always waxing nostalgic for them...

I have no interest in that bullshit...my best years are ahead of me...and no more hedging that to keep a job...it doesn't matter how badly I get treated...I will always, eventually, awake from that very bad dream...

For the very same reason that I can't settle for anything else than total, real, passionate love in along-term relationship...

Because if I don't always aspire better...I will always live with the pretty sad little compromise of my best years being behind me...

And I just have no interest in that...

No matter how many assholes I face along the way...

Why in the fuck would I live my life trying not to piss off some dumbass with the wrong priorities in order to express and engage in better priorities?...

I mean, really?...

And why the fuck would we all defend this poor little compromise of a life, rather than letting go of the fear?...why would we all defend trying to scare everyone else through this life?...and why in the fuck would I give into that fear when the dumbasses who have tried to inspire it in me have no other good reason to do so except because they wanted to get their way?...

I'm not living my life that way...

I don't care how much shit I've got to sling through to set a higher standard...I sling through the shit...and I'll let people follow...

I've got to get to bed...

And I will not rest until I'm working more completely out of my idealism...loving, a significant relationship as much as with friends and family, out of that idealism...and living fully out of that idealism...

Because goddamn if life as is isn't this big fuckin' dissappointment as long as I don't...

Life is disappointing when your living out of your idealism...but at least there's hope...because you're working on making things better...

I've got to get to sleep...have a great day, everyone:):)...

Love,
Ben

A great international policy discussion...

Four really great essays around Bush's policy in Iraq in the Winter 2005 edition of the National Interest...

The National Interest...

It never ceases to amaze me how the most recognized authors are, generally, the ones who have the most valuable things to say...

Conservative Daniel Pipes and liberal Joe Nye write two of the four essays and they are both very nice reviews of both the the very thoughtful essay by David Hendrickson and Robert Tucker in the previous Fall 2005 edition of the National Interest...

Hendrickson and Tucker make a powerful case for both an idealism that seeks to spread democracy and freedom...and yet a serious concern about how force may be used to accomplish that...and a very powerful case that America's founders, of all ideological stripes, looked upon such efforts with suspicion...

Joe's skepticism of the idea that democracy can be forced on a population is compelling (a notion I agree with, though I think, as does Joe, that there is much good that can come -- and has come, in the case of Iraq -- with military intervention in tyrannies, as long as such interventions support and are supported by grassroots efforts and more democratic impulses within those countries...a situation that Iraq is a unique case for, rather than a general example of, and a case of where such democratic impulses must be more fully engaged to ensure that fewer innocent Iraqis and American and other soldiers die for that cause)...

Pipes calls for a modest, patient idealism in the cause of advancing democracy abroad...he is still more complacent about the problems that come with using force to promote more modern, democratic governments than I or Joe...

Daniel Pipes...Defending and Advancing Freedom...Commentary Magazine, November 2005...

...but his idealism that a commitment to democracy should be expected for Arab governments and societies is a patient and tempered one that I agree is the more useful outlook...

Pipes doesn't seem to recognize the likely, albeit complicated, causality of fundamentalist Islamist reactions and subsequence governance in Algeria and Iran from our support of modernizing dictators -- the two examples he cites of to justify American support of modernizing autocrats to avoid radical fundamentalist reactionaries taking power - and instead excuses it with the reasoning that the likely consequences from our actions justify the policy that likely created the consequences that we were trying to avoid...I, too, sympathize with the reasoning for supporting the more civilized, though dictatorial, governments amongst a terrible set of options...but I do think that America and international policy thinkers should take note of the consequences of supporting such dictators without addressing in our diplomacy the problems with those dictatorships for the people who they rule...meaning, if we want peoples in places like Algeria and Iran to turn away from fundamentalists, we better support both better governing coalitions, in those countries, with our words more than with our arms or our money, and openly criticize the autocratic tendencies of those dictatorships, as President Bush has done a very fine job of doing, I believe...

Joe points to both the very serious advances that have come with a better expectation of Middle Eastern governments and societies and the very serious problems that come with using force to advance the cause...Joe notes the advances of democracy with municipal elections in Saudi Arabia, the withdrawal of Syrian troops and elections in Lebanon, modest allowances for opposition in Egypt, and democratic progress in countries like Bahrain, Morocco, and Togo...but he is skeptical of the idea that such progress and future progress is or can be promoted through threats of military upheaval...the difficulties arising from indigineous resistance to the American presence in Iraq being the clearest caution to such a notion...

Pipes and Nye both see the powerful idealism that animates this war...and the advances its promoted...and share Hendrickson and Tucker's concern about promoting such efforts through force...though Pipes is more ambivalent about the question of whether such efforts might work, expressing some support for them in the Commentary article, while expressing doubt about whether they will be effective, long term, in Iraq...

One of the important implications of Pipes' and Nye's concerns is a powerful correction to the notion in the Administration, right now, that it will be successfully in threatenening and use military force to transform governments in Syria, Iran, and the like...Daniel seems less sure that such efforts will work...whereas Joe shares my concern that they do not work, generally, not just in the case of Iraq...a notion that has produced caution amongst most of the Administration's observers except for its most serious cheerleaders...and their thoughts are certainly corrective to Robert Kaplan's foolhardy notion of American empire...

Nye's essay is predictably brilliant...and Pipes' essay is as good as always...but what is particularly important about Pipes' comments is that he is pointing the direction to a more authentic, idealistic and democratic conservativism, in contrast with the cynical and ugly rationalizations of Robert Kaplan's thesis of American empire...

The future of the world...of America...and of American conservativism, liberalism, and independent and non-partisan thinking is around classical and important values of freedom and democracy...values that we are foolish to abandon for fantasies of world power...fantasies that both scare others in a way that undermines our credibility and leadership and the values and example we seek others to emulate, learn from, and grow with, along with Americans and our government...

And Daniel Pipes and Joe Nye illustrate why the strongest thinkers are so committed to such values...even as they share, as do I, a commitment to ending tyranny in all its forms...

Check out this discussion when you get a chance:):)...

Love,
Ben

Love happens...

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What I learned over Christmas vacation...

I hung out with friends and family a lot, this Christmas...we talked a lot...I picked peoples' brains for ways to make my class more interesting...to make school a better experience for kids...

The consistent answer from friends and family was making it one where kids and students get to choose what goes on, more...reading books that interest them, and not just classic literature...activities that they like/want to do, and not just teacher directed activities...and this was from my school-smart friends and family as much as from my friends and family that struggled with school, more...

I love/d school, I would explain to friends and family...except for that last 6 months or so in grad school when my advisor got more interested in the grant money and his own schedule for me than with my education...the first two reasons having nothing at all with why I was in grad school, in the first place...which he just kind of took for granted too much, by the end...I made plenty of my own mistakes, as well...

But even though I love school and education and all the values that it seeks to impart much more than any of my friends and most people, generally...and I think I understand more than most educated folks how most people don't share these interests...and how this has everything to do with why more and less educated folks see the world so differently...

I also know what it's like to have people take my cooperation in that process for granted, so wrapped up are they in their own priorities...that they forget to ask me about mine...

And my commitment, as a teacher, is to change that relationship between teachers and students...at least between me and my students...and set the standard for everyone else...

And my friends and family gave me a lot of great feedback on that this Christmas vacation...

It's so funny...but for some strange reason...reading about Robert Kaplan writing of all the "virtues" of American empire...and all the people in the world that such an arrogant, conceited view of the world and power takes for granted...

It just has kind of chilled me out, quite a bit..

Both because I won't be bullied...by Robert Kaplan via whatever political leaders that he might encourage with such a short-sighted, nasty little worldview...

But also because it begins to help me come to terms with my limitations in changing the process...which just kind of chills me out...and helps me accept, better, that good ideas, like bad ideas, get picked up, experimented with, and thrown aside once it becomes clearer to the folks engaging them that they aren't as useful...or maintained and elaborated once it becomes clearer that they are more useful...

And all ideas work like that...for me...for everyone...

My advisor was someone who thought a lot...without having a lot of great ideas...lots of people are like that...I don't really know, really, if that's better than not thinking a lot...because I have to say that there are a million people I've encountered in my life who are far less pains in the ass and who have been far more helpful to me in developing good and better ideas than my very clever by half advisor...

All those folks back in Wichita come to mind, for me, right now...and so many folks, here in Lawrence and in Kansas City...Brandi and Melissa and a million friends come to mind around that one...

It's so sad to me to think that so much of the world gets fucked up because folks get disillusioned with school...and doing good...because of so much pressure to do more than they are prepared to do...or understand to do...or are ready to do...

And then just kind of grow to resent school and education as some kind of imposition...or useless afterthought in their lives...

All because they get pushed to hard, too fast...

Me too...but I've dealt with it better than most folks, I think...

I think my own graduate school advisor was kind of an ass, much of the time that I dealt with him...though he could be a good guy, too, when we wasn't being such a goddamned bully...and most people I encountered had issues with their advisors...I just felt like I was in a better position to walk away, frankly...I had the same issue with my undergrad and my master's advisor, truth be known...I've not had a very good experience with advisors, generally...something about having people push me around, all the time, that I'm a little put off by...I'm sure it's not just me...it's an open secret that students hate advisors and professors and teachers who act this way...it's just that, for some reason, the general attitude is that students should just learn to deal with what jackasses their teachers and advisors and professors are...which is the reality much of the time...though I bailed when it became clearer to me that my advisor had little more to offer than a degree...which was not the reason I was in grad school...I was there for an education...something that I think my advisor and many professors had lost track of being the most important priority in a university, a long time ago...totally straight-up on that one...I can't tell you how many times I heard from professors, "Just finish the degree up"...and I kept thinking, "If the only thing that this whole experience is worth is a degree, what the fuck is it worth, you fuckin' cynical bastards?...you really think professors got it all figured out?...is that how knowledge gets developed, you dumbasses?...by just gettin' the degree?"...goddamn fools...

And my friends and family helped remind me of that, this weekend...as they told me about how they'd like to have their own priorities and interests taken more seriously when they were in school...some very smart and decent folks gave me that feedback as much as folks who struggled with school, more...

So it's advice I'll take more seriously...

I wonder, sometimes...why professors and teachers and all kinds of folks in schools...can't see more clearly how much of the world gets fucked up because of our failures in schools...

How someone like Robert Kaplan and the soldiers he interviews carry around chips on their shoulders about their school experiences...because of their shitty school experiences...which is no excuse for their arrogance...it just seeks to understand it a little better...

And I'm just tired of that cycle...I want to change it...to make a start on getting everyone on the same page, better...that the learning matters...but so do the people who are doing the learning...

Problem is...

Noone seems to take those two priorities as seriously as they need to be taken...so wrapped up are most folks in short term and less important priorities...

And stubborn ass me...I just won't choose between thsoe priorities...improving the learning environment for everyone...raising the standards for everyone...and creating more space for everyone to have their say...to study around their interests, more...to have fun in school and with their education as much as they take it seriously...

And most of all...

To care about it all...

To know just how important...learning...and the people engaged in it...are...

All of them...all of it...

And that's something that Robert Kaplan is just wrong about...it's not something that can be worked through with brute force...

It's something that takes more light than heat...

Many and most problems in the world are ones that take more light than heat, most of the time...though there are always times when we need heat and deal with the heat of the situation to deal effectively with the challenges in front of us...

And Robert writes so often about heat...because he lacks enough light to shine on the situations he encounters...

Most people do this, I'm learning...they talk about and use more heat...the less light they have to shine on a situation...

And I just didn't get into teaching...or policy...or any of the things I care about in life...

To keep making this stupid mistake over and over again...just because everyone else does...someone's got to face the mistake and cut it out...and it might as well be me...

Have you ever heard Clint Black's (and Skip Ewing's...who co-wrote it) Something That We Do?...if you haven't...you should download it...or go check it out at Borders...or buy the CD...it's beautiful...I'm planning on singing it to my wife at my wedding...along with several other love songs I've got stuck away in my repertoire...

I'm tired of life with too much heat and not enough light...politics with too much heat and not enough light...schools with too much heat and not enough light...wars with too much heat and not enough light...a criminal justice system with too much heat and not enough light...

Too much heat...not enough light...

If there is any one most serious problem in the world...

This is the one...

And its the one that stands in the way of resolving all the others...

Kind of ironic, don't you think?...that so many people turn to heat...to help them to resolve their problems...

And yet it is the one most important obstacle to resolving them...

But...

There's only way to find that out, for sure...

To keep making the same stupid mistakes until you get it figured out for yourself:):):)...

Me, too:):)...

I realized this weekend that everyone wants to stop making the same stupid mistakes...they just don't know how, often...and most folks are kind of stubborn about giving up the bullshit...

But if interacting with my Grandma Sutherland has taught me anything...it's that everyone can and is, ultimately, willing to learn, some of the time, at least...and when you're lucky...more of the time...

It just takes time:):)...

Me included:):)...

Most people fuck up before they see the fuck up...some people think about the fuck up to prevent it in the future...others stubbornly keep fucking up without enough thought...

But all of us can learn to think more about our fuck ups...with the right support...for ourselves and for others...to think about them better...and how to prevent them in the future...

And we all need a lot more patience with ourselves and with each other...as we do the learning...

Did I mention that I love Dar Williams?...I do...I love her...I'm listening to her really beautiful, "O Canada Girls," right now...if Dar Williams was single and in my area, I'd ask her out in a fuckin' heartbeat...she is just so goddamned sweet...

Sleep tight, everyone:):)...

Love,
Ben

The ugly world of power...

What an ugly, dangerous, scary world the world of power is...

I've been reading the reviews of Robert Kaplan's new book...and half of President Bush's Christmas reading, from the reports I read...

Imperial Grunts: The American Military on the Ground...at metacritic.com...

Imperial Grunts...at Amazon...

Imperial Grunts...at Powells...

Imperial Grunts...at Barnes and Noble...

I have a lot of respect for Robert Kaplan...

But his thesis of an inevitable (and desirable) American empire is so corrupt and dangerous a thesis that I will read his book with more than a bit of Lord Acton's famous skepticism that power corrupts and absolute power corrupts absolutely...

Unfortunately for Kaplan and those of his ilk...American political power is already in serious decline...

And the arrogance to think that American power could or should be wielded so cynically...is repugnant in a way that I can hardly even accept comes from someone so otherwise brilliant at Robert Kaplan...

Appropriate for a book embracing the idea of American empire...Andrew Bacevich writes in the anti-imperial Nation magazine one of the best critiques such a thesis that I have read thusfar...

Robert Kaplan: Empire Without Apologies...Andrew Bacevich...Sep. 8 post/Sep. 26 issue of the Nation Magazine...

Kaplan's own chip about his place in international policy circles seems to reinforced by the chips of the American servicemen and women that he interviews and their place in policy discussions that they, like Kaplan, are not as well prepared to engage in as their more learned colleagues...

Luckily for all of us...power doesn't operate the way that Kaplan would like it to...

But how arrogant for Robert to suggest that it would...

If that thesis turns out to be true -- and it is confirmed by too many sources for me, at this point, to be too skeptical of the veracity of those who present it as such -- Robert Kaplan just lost an enormous amount of respect from a policy student who had otherwise harbored much admiration for Robert's journalism and his willingness to think outside of the box of the international policy establishment...

All those pointy-headed ivory tower scholars, those of this particularly ugly-minded ilk must reason...keeping us from ruling the world properly...as God and the American Constitution would want us to...if it weren't for all those elitist liberal professors...keeping the world from the discovering the truth of our clearer right to that power...whether we have to take that right by force or not...

How conceited and repugnant...and...luckily for the world...damned foolish...dangerous, to be sure...but damned foolish, ultimately...

In so many ways...Robert Kaplan just became everything I don't want to be as a policy thinker...his persistent whines that his brilliance is just not recognized enough in international policy circles culminate in an attempt to end-run the international policy discussion...instead of earning his place in the circles that he so desires to earn respect from...

My mistakes in my own scholarly career and life are my own...I have no interest in whining, any more, about my recognition or lack thereof (to myself, more than anything else), my experiences in grad school, or anything of the kind to somehow circumvent the much more important discussion of ideas, that is far more important than the egos of anyone...policy scholar or not...and certainly my own...

America earned its place in the world by earning the world's trust...

And it will earn its decline in the world by earning the world's distrust...

And ideas like this one will go a long way to promoting that second end...

Let's hope this and next American President and Congress learn this lesson...before much more trust in America's leadership is undermined by such arrogance...

It's very sobering to live through this political moment...a moment of such open hubris...that an honest student of power...can only hope to stay away from the nasty stuff...while we slowly and with much effort...clean the process up...

Love,
Ben

Frederick Kagan makes an excellent case for how we can win the war in Iraq...

Military historian Frederick Kagan (any relation to conservative international policy scholar Robert Kagan?) makes an excellent case in the December 19th edition of the Weekly Standard (a magazine that I had, as of late, been regarding as hopelessly partisan and thus one I was losing respect for) for how America can keep the faith and keep focussed on winning this war...rather than on giving in to our more cowardly and defeatist instincts and cut and run...

Frederick Kagan...Fighting to Win...The Weekly Standard, Dec. 19th, 2005...

Kagan argues in his article that a focus on cutting the number of troops rather than on winning the war and making a transition to Iraqi responsibility for its own security undermined the latter goal as Americans grow war-weary...and that a focus on cutting troops that does not keep the larger focus on transitioning to an Iraqi democracy where Iraqi military and law enforcement forces are responsible for their own security could likely allow a civil war to erupt that would, eventually, require a U.S. presence again, down the road...

I agree with that concern...and appreciate Kagan's very balanced and sober assessment of how Americans can remain to both train Iraqi troops to to be better prepared to more effectively undermine insurgents and terrorists militarily (which is necessary no matter what fantasies folks may have about political solutions to this situation, which are needed, of course, as well)...and to be more more professional (thus helping to prevent the kind of torture that arises out of fear and shortsightedness amongst less professional military and law enforcement forces)...

Specifically...Kagan calls for a duel strategy that includes what Andrew Krepinevich, in Foreign Affairs, calls an "oil-spot" approach to dealing with insurgents -- which sweeps insurgents from a limited number of territory that they gain strongholds in to prevent creating a permanent presence which allows them to recruit and train new fighters, to store weapons, and to strategize more effectively offensive and defensive efforts...as well as a more general strategy of securing larger tracts of territory and allowing Iraqi forces to maintain security of those tracts once Americans are able to more reliably sweep out insurgents...while holding that same territory, rather than moving from area to area with smaller numbers of troops, as Krepinevich suggests with his "oil-spot" or "whack-a-mole" strategy, the latter name given by its more skeptical detractors...

I wholly agree with this concern that we need to make sure that a transition to an Iraqi democracy makes sure that Iraqi troops can readily secure a freer Iraq with the help of Americans or else lose so many gains made in recent months in undermining the insurgency...

Kagan is right that the most important larger effort to undermine the insurgency comes from the most recent election, the participation of the Sunni minority, and (I hope) opportunities for the Sunnis to participate in a coalition government with the majority Shia who did not win a controlling majority...

Which matches our experience with successful efforts to undermine terrorism, Northern Ireland being the best example, to my mind, where opportunities for political participation created an alternative to violence that, eventually, undermined terrorist activity in Northern Ireland almost completely...

But, in the meantime, there is a need for a stronger and more professional and thoughtful military effort to take hold among Iraqi military and law enforcement servicepeople, under American mentorship, to more effectively secure a country with domestic military and law enforcement forces which would, in all likelihood, be more easily overwhelmed by the insurgency without American support...

Everyone wants American troops to withdraw, at some point, obviously...the troops, themselves, likely, more than anyone else, given the risks that they take to do that job...

But everyone involved should be more concerned at Mr. Kagan is, here, with a military effort that is long-term in its outlook and its commitment to success to assure a democratic transition that does not require further future intervention...

Left-wing and right-wing tendencies (more left than right, ironically, at this moment, I believe) toward a more isolationist, head-in-the-sand outlook on this war would result in the very same consequences that head-in-the-sand approaches have had in the past...which is more and more serious problems awaiting our recognition of our own foolishness...

And as Mr. Kagan makes clear in this article...a premature exit from Iraq would, in all likelihood, lead to losing ground on very promising recent trends in the war effort in Iraq...especially the number of those killed and injured around elections...

As Frederick writes...

"Data about insurgent attacks in Iraq do not support any sense of urgency about withdrawing either. The October constitutional referendum saw significantly fewer attacks than the January 2005 elections; 299 attacks on January 30 generating 213 casualties, versus 89 attacks and 49 casualties on October 15. Insurgents attacked only 19 election sites in October; in January they struck 88. Although the significance of such data is not clear, and other trend lines are less promising than this, there is certainly no case to be made that the situation is worsening enough to support urgent demands for immediate withdrawal. On the contrary, it appears that significant progress is being made."

Frederick is right...we need to stay the course until the Iraqis are fully prepared to take over their own security situation...this is not a video game...this is war, for real...and it is not something which responsibilities should be taken lightly because Americans are growing weary of the news reports and under the unrelenting and more mindless anti-war cries on the left...

We have a responsibility to the Iraqi people to do this thing right...and that means making sure that Iraqis are ready to secure their own country...not just cut them loose because we've grown weary of their presence in our domestic politics...

Frederick Kagan makes the case far better than I can in the Weekly Standard (Dec. 19th)...because he knows better what he's doing...which you will get a very clear sense of reading the article, I hope...

A very well reasoned, argued, and genuinely balanced case, I believe...from someone who knows better what the situation looks like on the ground...and what strategies might better help us achieve our bigger objectives...and why...

In an magazine otherwise lost in its own self-righteous partisanship, folks like Frederick Kagan and David Brooks make clear why it is so important for the most intelligent and thoughtful and courageous center to hold in such a critical situation...

Because too many lives are on the line to settle for anything less...

And because the conversation bottoms out, morally and intellectually, the more we engage in adolescent wars about who has all the right answers...which is noone, obviously, to anyone responsible and smart enough to see that...

Please check out Frederick's very powerful article...

Love,
Ben

Embarking on my more scholarly career...

I've been reading two books, lately...

Joe Nye's Soft Power...which is brilliant, by the way, when you get the chance:):)...

And Robert Beattie's Nightmare in Wichita, detailing the case of our own homegrown serial killer in Wichita, Kansas, the BTK Strangler, Dennis Rader...a book that, I agree with Robert, just may well have helped smoke that little weasel out of his hiding spot...since BTK resurfaced after publicity about Beattie's book...likely to get proper credit for his work and to get his version of his gruesome history out for the public to see...

Joe's book is brilliant...and I wanted to spend the day at the WSU research library with policy journals and scholarly books all day, researching international policy and whatever else came up during that study time...but the library is shut down, today, for whatever reasons...so I didn't get a chance...I'm at the 21st and Hillside Wichita Public Library instead...reading and researching the best I can in a public library rather than in a university library, where all the best scholarly resources are at...

I want to start writing more work for my scholarly interests, more formally...and I'm wanting to research for that task...the university world has all kinds of formalities that I'm sure folks will want to see before they pay attention to ideas...so I'm gonna start writing in that way to get some articles and books published at some point, I'm decided...

But I have to say...to all the naysayers I encountered who thought that leaving school was a bad idea...

That I'm totally convinced, at this point, that there is something to spending some time in the real world...and not just having your head in the clouds...and it was one of the best decisions I made in my educational and scholarly career...Tom's opinion on the matter, notwithstanding:):):)...

It was an inconvenient time to do it, for sure, for everyone involved...but goddamn if I wasn't tired, at that moment, of having an advisor arrogant enough to think that newer and better ideas came from professors or advisors riding students to finish their programs...rather than students taking whatever freedom necessary...to develop newer and better ideas...and if that means that my life and his life gets inconvenienced, then so fuckin' be it...because the ideas are/were/will forever be far more fuckin' important than any fuckin' grant...and if you don't believe that, then you shouldn't be in a fuckin' university, in my book...because you're gaming the system for all the wrong fuckin' reasons...I just think Tom got used to that outlook...and I wasn't buying it...because school and an education actually mattered to me...and I wasn't going to treat it with less respect than it deserved...

I don't care what you call yourself...radical...liberal...conservative...Communist...Christian...theocratic...Socialist...anarchist..

I don't care what the fuck you call yourself...

You don't fuckin' decide for me how my ideas get developed...and how my education pans out...I will decide those things, thank you very much...and your input will be appreciated and duly taken...but will not decide the final direction of my education, thank you very fuckin' much...

Why people in universities can't take freedom of thought nearly serious enough too much of the time, I will never know...

But I will take it that seriously and more until you do...

Joe Nye's book is really, really good...Joe's breadth of knowledge of so many international policy events, trends, ideas, thinkers, and the political climate for ideas is really impressive...

But what really makes Joe's ideas stand out is their boldness and their broad potential for application...

There are tons of really great thinkers that Joe cites in his work...

But what stands out in Joe's work is that he has developed ideas with broad scope...and which make sense...Joe's work on soft power has been praised by conservatives like Robert Kagan, Henry Kissinger, and Brent Scowcroft because it is really top notch work...Joe is a liberal, I believe...statements like, "American soft power is eroded more by policies like capital punishment or the absence of gun control, where we are the deviants in opinion among advanced countries," seem to both endorse gun control and oppose capital punishment, implicitly...and to overestimate the degree to which European opinion of American policies should matter to us, I think...I oppose capital punishment and gun control and I think that is the best position on both issues for all kinds of reasons that I've gone into depth about and can do so again at another point...and I want the best policies, whether Jacques Chirac, Angela Merkel, Tony Blair, and any other leader or nation's population likes those policies or not...

I don't agree with Joe all the time...nor do I agree with any thinker all the time...but Joe's work is uniquely strong among policy thinkers, I think, as is Benjamin Barber's, because of the breadth of both of their work and the potential applications that each of them has in a variety of different situations...Joe's work is a better guide for those seeking to use authority wisely, I believe...and Benjamin's is better work to understand the reactions to that authority and the kind of decentralized participatory democratic opportunities that might better account for the concerns of a ever-freer and more democratic world...Robert Kagan's and Henry Kissinger's work are excellent corrections to too much utopian thinking on the left about America's ability to abandon its sovereignty and autonomy and strategic self-interest to multilateral international institutions or to an overly optimistic view of forced collaboration -- which is not real collaboration at all -- in international institutions, like the U.N., especially when those institutions leave a lot to be desired, too often, with whom they let set their agendas, as is the very good case of conservative criticism of countries like Syria setting human rights policies in the United Nations...Kagan's work, in particular, is an excellent correction to the notion that matters of authority and sovereignty don't matter in an often chaotic world where actors in bad faith threaten innocent lives...Kissinger and Kagan, both, are far too cynical in their machinations around the use of power, both for my tastes and for America's interests, I believe...but they are both becoming less so, which is just right by me:):):)...

Joe's work rationalizes liberal power, too much, I believe...and Benjamin's work is an excellent and better correction to the notion of centralized power, liberal, conservative, or otherwise, on so many issues, I believe...though some kind of monopoly on the legitimate use of the hard power and force is still needed, I believe -- privatized prisons and security being a permanent and legitimate use of private power, I believe...though still needing to be subservient, I believe, to public power vested in law enforcement and the courts, despite their many, many flaws -- and I think most people would agree and which I highly doubt that Benjamin would seriously disagree with...Benjamin's focus is just more on the world, at large, than is Joe's, rather than more on governments' use of power, as is Joe's...

But the big difference between Joe and Benjamin's work and Henry and Robert's work...is that where Robert and Henry are consistently borrowing from others' ideas very good ideas...Benjamin and Joe are actively developing newer and better ones...and that is what makes them stronger thinkers, generally, I believe...even as Robert's and Henry's corrections are powerful and important ones, much of the time, I believe...

The more I deal with people who don't take thinking seriously around the most important issues we face...the more I appreciate everyone who takes the thinking seriously...with or without new and original ideas as great thinkers like Joe Nye and Benjamin Barber bring to the table...

Developing new ideas is hard work...and the hardest work, as a young scholar, used to be all the nay-saying from folks too lazy to come up with newer and better ideas of their own...now, I realize...there are leaders...and there are followers...and those folks are followers, much of the time...so as much as they bitch about how there is nothing new under the sun...they generally enjoy the sunlight, once you show them the way...

There are just some of us who are busy showing the way...while others bitch about how there's no other path...

Plato's Allegory of the Cave...how much more I appreciate it and Anthony Gethiel's Honors' English class my freshman year at Wichita State...

The challenge of the 21st Century...is that people can't be dragged from the cave to see the sunlight...because they just find their way back to the cave, which is furnished with cable TV and Cheetos, these days...people have to find their own way out of the cave and into the sunlight...to see the difference between the shadows and the light of reason...

Goddamn it's good to be back in Wichita...I love my hometown...and I love the university where I first fell in love with the world of ideas...I would love to teach at a third tier, no-prestige University like Wichita State, someday...if for no other reason than to be around folks who love ideas for their sake...because they aren't making a lot of money off of them, that's for sure...and where conservatives and liberals, Republicans and Democrats, peacefully cohabit in a really very excellent political sciece program at Wichita State, and learn things from one another, if you can believe that (one conservative professor, Ken Ciboski, taught this really excellent comparative politics class that I so thoroughly enjoyed while I was there and still learn more from -- as I review the textbooks from that class, periodically -- each time I revisit what we learned there)...and, in a lot of ways, I would prefer it to the fucked up world of scholarly fame and prestige that takes over peoples' egos, I think, too much, at places like KU and Harvard and Stanford and Yale and Berkeley and a million other places where a lot of really great thinkers live and work...

If my ideas are worth a lick, people will find me, I'm sure...and if not...then it's a pretty good sign that I should look into carpentry or something more up my alley:):):)...

I've got some books to read and some sources to track down, everyone...

Oh...and I want to take a moment, thinking about the WSU research library, to thank our head extemper, Brian White, at Wichita State and now a really fabulous forensics coach at Kapaun Mt. Carmel in Wichita, Kansas, for introducing me to the really pretty impressive scholarly journal and periodical collection at Wichita State University, while the Wichita State extempors were building one of the better sets of extemp boxes (a collection of research articles for domestic and international policy speeches in intercollegiate competitive speech and debate) in the country...I fuckin' love that library, and Brian more than any other person really introduced me to everything it had to offer...

Brian was and is, by the way, one of the first and smartest conservatives that I ever got to know, really well, and someone who gave me first-hand knowledge, at a fairly young age, of how smart conservatives can be...and how much a young liberal kid had to learn about the world...and someone who persuaded me -- along with our more socially conservative speech and debate coach, Chris Leland -- to vote for George Bush, Sr. in my very first election...not a bad vote, though I think Bill Clinton turned out to be a better President...but a really fine Republican President I think more today than I did, then...and for Kansas Republican Eric Yost, unfortunately, for Kansas Attorney General...who turned out to be one of our shittier Attorney General's, I think...but a pretty straight Republican ticket in 1992...and most of the credit for persuading a pretty strong-minded liberal Democrat to vote that way in that year goes to my friend, Brian, who is still one of the smartest and most decent conservatives that I have ever met in my life...

I have a whole lifetime of policy thinking and writing to get a head start on, this Christmas vacation...so I guess I better get on that...

Have a great week, everyone:):):)...

Love,
Ben