Tuesday, December 27, 2005

For now...this is how I handle this kind of situation...

My friends or anyone else threaten me...or anyone I care about...we're not friends...

And they can fuckin' deal...until I get an apology...

And it persists...and you deal with the lack of active cooperation you get from me until you can learn to stop been such a fuckin' shithead...

And that is effective until the day that I show up at your funeral...or you show up at mine...

Don't fuck with me...or forgo my friendship until you learn to stop being such an asshole...

Love,
Ben

I am so pissed, right now...

Christmas ended a little too early, this year...

I have a friend who is suing another much closer friend over some damage to their property, right now...

I'm pissed off in a serious way at all the people involved, right now, because this is something that clearly could have been resolved much more readily and in a grown-up way...

Had we been dealing with grown-ups...

But we aren't dealing with grown-ups...we're dealing with three little kids who got in a fight without a grown-up around (they even had to have a grown-up in the form of a police officer come and mediate what they were too immature to mediate for themselves)...

The damage of property was a reaction against what I agree was pretty shitty treatment of this person by her two friends...it's still not excused, of course...and she owes them money, whether she likes it or not...

What makes this particular situation so upsetting is how I've been suggesting the entire fuckin' time to these three little children that they grow up and start dealing with each other like the adults that they supposedly are...

They have not, as of yet...

And a court battle looms in the distance if they continue down this terribly immature path...

I get so fuckin' annoyed with adults who can't learn to just do the right fuckin' thing and cut out the bullshit when the wrong path clearly keeps bringing on consequences that are bad news for them...

But that's the nature of trying to force our way to maturity for most kids...and not patiently modeling it for them and teaching it to them along the way...

Is that we have adults who don't quite seem to get that the real world offers them consequences whether they fuckin' like it or not...

Which is most adults and children, really...

I just get really fuckin' annoyed when the consequences are in my back fuckin' yard when I've been giving good advice on how to avoid such bullshit all along the way...

Here's to learning the fuckin' lessson and keeping the bullshit out of my life, from now on, for goodness fuckin' sakes...

Grow up...

Love,
Ben

Monday, December 26, 2005

Christmas with the Sutherlands...

I'll have to write later about my favorite little redneck Christmas ever with the Sutherland family, this year...

But I just couldn't let that last little venting post be the one up for Christmas...

Christmas with the Sutherlands was really special this year...

I spend a lot of time on the holidays looking out for younger cousins and family members...

My sister, Jenny, and I are apparently talking with one another again, which is good news...and my mom and I talked together for the first time in 3 years...also a great thing...

And there was just a lot of love shared in the Sutherland family, this year...

It's amazing to me...how...as I've learned to stop seeing peoples' humanity in terms of religion or politics or whatever...to just appreciate and support and challenge and love people for who they are...how much more I love my own life as a consequence...

My cousin, Carla, called me "enlightened" this Christmas...and I thought it was awful sweet...Carla is a particularly great cousin and family member, I have to admit...but it matters to me that at least some folks in the world appreciate what I have to offer to the world...and not always be bumping into folks who see me through their fears and insecurities about life...it's the most tedious thing about caring about almost literally everyone (we just saw footage, in my family, of Dennis Rader, the BTK killer, performing the unusual step of pleading guilty and confessing his crimes in court...I care about Dennis, because I care about everyone...but I have to say that it was pretty grotesque trying to imagine what kind of person rationalizes that kind of behavior)...that I'm constantly listening to peoples' rationalizations for why they are such dicks and why I need to be more dickish like them...it's like the alcoholic who wants you to take a swig...or the pothead who just can't smoke without someone else...everyone wants validation for their stupidity, I'm learning...and it gets tedious in the extreme constantly dealing with people trying to get me to take the rap for why they are such assholes...

And nice to have people in my life who don't expect me to be an asshole to earn their respect...

I hope your Christmas and Hanukah and New Year are as loving as mine:):)...

Have a great holiday, everyone:):)...

Love,
Ben

Sunday, December 25, 2005

How petty can people be?...

It's Christmas...9:40PM...and I just read an email sent by a friend, today, to remind me she was taking another much closer friend of mine to court...

Can you think of anything more petty on Christmas?...how small can people be, I wonder, when I read something like I just read...

Pretty small, I'm learning...

Pathetic...

Merry Christmas, everyone...

Love,
Ben

Saturday, December 24, 2005

Why Democrats lost in 2004...and why they'll lose again in 2008 if they don't get their asses in gear...

David Brooks is right...

David Brooks...Kerry, Edwards worlds apart...

...and brilliant as always...can I say that David Brooks has thoroughly impressed me over the last couple of years as a voice of sanity and constructiveness and intelligence in a sea of liberal and conservative cynicism:):):)...

Thank you, David...

David's basic observation...is that after Katrina...Kerry was obsessively anti-Bush...and John Edwards did something that Kerry didn't even do very well when he was running for President...

He was thinking...

John Edwards, according to Brooks, was talking about the pressures that economic insecurity place on families and their ability to function effectively, especially in the midst of serious catastrophe like Hurricane Katrina...

That and John's Washington Post editorial taking responsibility for his vote for the war in Iraq make him, effectively, in my mind, the Democratic front-runner...Hillary has shown almost zero leadership ability her entire tenure in the Senate except for a very safe and constructive, but also kind of no-brainer, bill sponsored publicly with the help of former Republican Speaker Newt Gingrich...a shrewd move, to be sure...but a very basic bill that allowed for better sharing of medical information that involved very little political courage at all, really...that seems to be Hillary's forte, at this point...avoiding policies that involve courage...

John Edwards and Barak Obama are the two most impressive potential Democratic candidates, right now, I think...

The reason?...

Because they both have ideas about how to govern...as strange as that might seem to power-obsessed Democrats right now...

You know what Bill Clinton told John Kerry that he should have done in his election contest with George Bush that he failed to do...and which I think is the biggest reason that he lost that election...

Articulate a vision...and some big ideas about what he might want to do with all that power...

But instead John furrowed his brow...and kept his focus on winning power...and making every anti-Bush plea that his handlers wrote for him...

And this is for all the liberals who might be reading...

Do you remember what happened to John in the 2004 election?...

He lost, motherfuckers...

And if Democrats want to lose again...if I were them, I'd just keep focussing on power and give very little attention to ideas...just like they did in that election...

John Edwards is getting wise...

Because he's tired of losing, I'm sure...

But at least he's thinking...

And you know who I'm voting for in the 2008 election...

The candidate with the best ideas...

I don't know who that is...

Rudy Guliani...John Edwards...John McCain...Barak Obama...Hillary Clinton (though she's shown almost no inclination towards good constructive ideas, at this point)...Evan Bayh...

Whoever has the best ideas...

And America will be doing the same...I guarantee it...

And if liberals want to learn the lesson on this one, for good...

I'd suggest they run a power-focussed rather than an idea-focussed campaign like they did in 2004...

And if they have a Republican challenger with even a smidgeon of decent policy ideas...

Watch them beat the shit out of your candidate...

And then you'll come to me...and I'll say, "I told you so"...and you don't want that...because I'm a gloating motherfucker...especially when you do something stupid that I've been telling you to stop doing for at least 3 years, now...

And you know what the worst part is...

If you -- meaning liberals -- do run a campaign that is power-based...and you win...

You'll know you won't deserve it...

Uhh...what an icky feeling...to win something as important as the Presidency when you don't deserve it...

I guess it will be a test of just how low liberals can go...

They've gone pretty low, at this point...as have conservatives...

But it'll be a pyrrhic victory...and I won't be cheering with you...and will be, either, 1) eagerly awaiting when your candidate starts thinking and stops being an asshole...and engaging him/her until we get them there and/or 2) eagerly awaiting for the next election, when we can get rid of him/her...

And if Hillary Clinton -- the resident non-thinking candidate gets nominated...

You better hope John McCain or Rudy Guliani doesn't get nominated by the Republicans...

Wikipedia...opinion polling for 2008 Presidential election...

Because, right now...they would cleanly spank Hillary's red little ass...

And notice...the only candidate who beats either Rudy or John McCain, right now...on the Marist College poll...

Is John Edwards:):)...

Hmm...

I would suggest that Democrats start thinking more...and engaging in power gambles less...

Because...while I will buy you a beer when Republicans kick your tight little heinies...

I don't want your hear you're whining when I say you, "I told you so"...because I did...

And because I'm getting tired of Democrats acting like they have some kind of entitlement to office just because Bush is a less than ideal President...just like every President is a less than ideal President...

So a friendly suggestion to Democrats...from an independent...

Start thinking more...or get used to losin'...

Some tough love for a party with too much tough...not enough love...and far too few ideas, right now...

John Edwards has started to figure this one out...

Perhaps other Democrats can start following his lead:):):)...

Let's hope so...for the sake of the country...which deserves better than most liberals and Democrats (and conservatives and Republicans, for that matter) seem to be offering, right now...

Love,
Ben

By the way...can I say that John McCain is probably the shrewdest motherfucker on the face of this fuckin' earth...have Democrats not figured out, yet, that George Bush will not be running in the next election?...which means that we have two anti-Bush candidates for the next election...whichever Democrat gets nominated...and John McCain...so he rides the wave of anti-Bush feeling in the country, right now, and rides his favorables...and kicks the ass of every Democrat running or potentially running, right now...

"Uhh...we'll get just keep bringing down Bush's favorables and we'll beat him with any candidate"...duh-duh-duh...fuckin' dumbass Democratic handlers...you're gonna get your asses handed to you with that strategy, you fuckin' manipulative morons...and you'll deserve it...

"Uhh...we don't have to be for any good ideas...we'll just be against Bush"...fuckin' stupid assholes...the one saving grace is that once your candidate gets beat with that stupid-ass strategy, you lose your jobs, too, you fuckin' dickheads...

Political consultants and the cowardly fuckin' politicians who follow their advice are the fuckin' bane of democratic politics, today...and the only correction to their behavior that they care about is getting their asses whooped in the next election..and so be it, you fuckin' evil little Machiavellis...I hope you end up in someone's mailroom after you lose those gambles you arrogant pieces of shit...

Power obsession is a sickness..."Precious...my precious"...

Get some brains, some heart, and some fuckin' courage and walk your asses down the fuckin' yellow brick road...

And stand up and be leaders, you fuckin' cowards...

$25 for Christmas...

Well...I was able to carve out $25 to spend on some books, this year, for at least some Christmas presents this year...out of necessity, I have to put off bills until my next paycheck...there wasn't enough money whether I wanted to or not...and I don't know where I'm going to have money for my other student loan payment...but I'm sure I'll get something figured out...something always does get figured out...

I'm still in negotiations about my contract...the human resources persons offered a pretty significantly bigger amount than the school board offered...so we still have to get that resolved...if not...I'll guess the student loan folks will have to wait on their money until we negotiate an amount that I can pay...

It's only money, I always tell myself...because when you don't have any...and never have, in my case...you get some perspective on what really matters in life...I've never really been a poor person who was terribly angry about wealth inequity...and always hopeful that it would be addressed...and grew up in a family that believed not only in taking care of its own, as much as it could...but also earning its way through the world...I still know it will...you can't make it go away because you ignore it...and there are clearly major consequences for individual businesses and the economy, generally, from the politics of wealth inequity that imposes all kinds of restrictions and costs on businesses in the name of "doing something" about its sad legacy...

The truth is that wealth inequity will have to be addressed voluntarily by people...just like racism...and sexism...and every other terrible legacy in our country's history...

People's consciences have to change...not any laws...

There is no union...or law...or tax...or whatever...that will make it go away...either we will face our responsibility to create wealth equity in this country...or we will live with its sad legacy on our hearts and minds until we do...and all of the terrible consequences that it has on us and our societies, as well...

We'll figure it out, I'm confident...you can only put off your conscience and your enlightened self-interest and for so long...otherwise, you're culture begins to so degenerate that it doesn't even know who or what it is anymore...

Huh?...sounds like pop culture, these days:):):)LOL:):):)...

People have a natural need for growth beyond that kind of degeneration...poor or rich...so we'll get it resolved...I'm pretty clear...

And...in the meantime...we are responsible for the legacy of the destructiveness of financial pressure to serve our own greed...and our own desire not to get fucked over by own our creditors...by banks...and our various creditors...

It's such a sad legacy...our greed...

It's so self-serving...and hinders so much growth on all our our parts, in the meantime...it's shortsided...a part of the hyper-competitive, hyper-aggressive, ugly side of our natures...that will pass once people stop feeling like such victims...about what they "can't" do..."I 'can't help others and support greater wealth equity" so many businesses reason...I'm here to look out for profits...I have to be selfish, so many business folks, rationalize:):):)...I have no choice:):):)LOL:):):)...

Don't you feel sorry for all the poor people in business and in life who just have no choice but to be selfish:):):)LOL:):):)...it just breaks your heart, doesn't it:):):)LOL:):):)...

We are all such dumbasses, I swear:):):)...oh well...we learn...we fuck it up...we get better:):):)...

It's very much what Dr. Martin Luther King finally came to realize with the civil rights movement...civil rights, Dr. King started to realize, was a matter of changing hearts and minds:):)...there were elements of civil rights that inevitably meant changing the law...because they had to do with how the law and how policy affected African Americans...and how African Americans affected the law and policy...the Voting Rights Act...voting in the South...the murder of civil rights activists...

And something had to be done to improve and change segregated conditions in the South and all over the country...and while forced integration has certainly had a mixed legacy, at best...it served a purpose...

In retrospect...conservatives...like Bill Buckley...and others...who argued -- without racism, I don't think -- that forced integration would just inflame racial antagonisms, more, were probably right...and certainly blacks and whites, alike, have taken issue with the still-remaining legacies of forced integration, like forced bussing...but that particular period in our history -- when National Guardspersons were needed to integrate blacks and whites in public schools and public universities -- is over...the on-going legacy of court-orders in schools around desegration and using force, generally, to resolve race matters -- the NCAA very bad ruling around the use of Native mascots by college sports teams is one that comes to mind, here -- is the darker side of an otherwise noble effort to integrate blacks and whites and teach us to live together...it was a compromise...but a compromise that we have to move beyond, now, into an era where we choose to care for another because it's the right thing to do...and not because we're forced to...

I don't know why so many people fail to learn that very simple and important maxim...

Might doesn't make right...

But they do...persistently...and totally take for granted the wisdom that comes with it...

Does Pope Benedict really believe that if he fires priests and scholars who are gay or who disagree with his belief that homosexuality is a sin...that he'll make homosexuality go away?...or that he'll lead the Catholic Church to believe that way?...and that perversion will finally be eliminated from the fold of the Church?:):):):):):) (the naivete of such a belief makes me chuckle a little:):):)...

Apparently so...though he's a damned fool for thinking so...

Because...in all likelihood...either, 1) Catholics will just start leaving the Church...or 2) Catholics will start changing the way the Church makes decisions...

And in the meantime...really brilliant Catholics, like Father Thomas Reese, are left out of some really important conversations on behalf of the Church -- though I have no doubt Father Reese's thinking will win the day on this, long term...the Catholic Church will become completely irrelevant without open debate and discussion at its center -- by his less brilliant brethren...

Homosexuality is not going away because Pope Benedict forces out priests who are gay...or priests who don't believe that homosexuality is a sin...or who want to have an open debate about whether it is a sin, as Father Thomas Reese -- a far smarter man and a far better Catholic than the Pope...and a serious scholar of the Church institutions -- was advocating at America magazine, before he was forced out...

What the Pope...and the President...and so many liberals and Democrats...and so many people, generally, who try this route fail to recognize...

Is that trying to force a question in your direction, generally -- when the question is a matter of conscience and not a matter of immediate danger -- undermines your credibility...it doesn't make your detractors or their concerns go away...

And that will be true around wealth equity, as well...

Companies that sell their soul for profits -- like Walmart -- are dealing with the consequences of those policies, now, as communities like Lawrence, foolishly, I believe, try to keep them from expanding in our town...because of their reputation with employees and competitors...

And those practices...which have very little to do with real competition, which is about improving and generating value...and are a reflection of the merit of goods and services...not of weasly effots to hurt competitors...they have everything to do with hypercompetitive practices to rationalize self-centered ends...not competition based on merit meant to help others...no reason for me or anyone else to support those practices, whether they come from Wal-mart or any other business or political action group or any other individual or group...

Sam Walton's story is pretty impressive, though, if you get a chance...

Sam Walton...Wikipedia...

I'm just getting a chance to absorb it, right now...

Most rich folks, like Sam...and my parents...have been fucked over along the way...so when they fuck others over...I think they often think it is just part of the game...which is what keeps it going, of course...and the reason why we need to call a spade a spade to get it to stop...but, like my father...Sam Walton was a good man...a really, good man, really...if you check out his biography...a man who started with very little...and built a pretty impressive collection of stores that do so much for so many Americans every day...a man who believed -- for good reason -- in free enterprise and who opposed Communism, funding scholarships for Central American students to study in America and nurture those values, and stem the tide of Communism in this part of the world...

He was ruthless...as were Rockefeller...and Carnegie...before him...and as Gates is, as well, after him...and most major and often minor business people...

But they are also hard-working and often brilliant...and innovating...

It's time for this legacy to end...the cutthroat competition...the hypercompetitiveness...the ugly side of markets and capitalism that is so self-defeating...both of the nurturing of values that support free markets and free societies...but also of those markets, as cutthroat competition has so many terrible consequences for the market -- regulation that limits innovation, consumers and competitors that are cheated, taxes that produce resentment amongst those who pay them often begrudgingly and hurts more general generosity around issues that Americans and others otherwise care about, support for big government on the left that often fuels the self-delusion of both poor communities and greedy capitalists, alike, and has led to a very tragic legacy of too many failed and repressive leftist socialist and communist governments in the the world to count...and the illusion that socialism can really create the equity that it promises...which, of course, it can't...

I can't tell you how many conversations I have with Canadian leftists who refuse to acknowledge, honestly, the problems their health system has with shortages, rationing, and problems with their research and development...all to defend the very worthy commitment to equity that socialism offers...

The United States, on the other hand, has one of the finest health care systems in the world...largely because of our commitment to the free market...and all the ways that Americans take for granted how markets care for their needs...even as it does so at far too much expense to all of us...especially poor folks like me:):):)...

And...the United States has one of the most promising and voluntary efforts to create universal access within this far better health care market...the Financial Times and the Wall Street Journal, I believe, both reported within the last year about efforts by major health insurance companies and providers to find a path to universal access, as a very wise effort to come to terms with the legacy of wealth inequities in the health care system...and to preserve the many wonderful qualities that a free market health care system provides...

But that will not be enough, obviously...

Businesses and financial groups of all kinds will need to follow suit...

And begin taking economic equity seriously...

They will, I'm confident...it will just take time...as more and more people become aware -- if you read David Brooks, these days, it's very touching how committed a conservative can become to resolving issues of wealth equity -- their consciences will be pricked...as Martin Luther King said they would and needed to be during our earlier civil rights period...

We have Martin to thank, in large part, for why this most recent round of fruitless political warfare over economic issues -- as is much of the what has been going on, lately, between Democrats and Republicans and in various courts, as much as the war in Iraq -- has not taken a far worse turn...

It was Martin's commitment to a world whose conscience would be pricked around matters of wealth inequity that animates the best of wealth equity commitments, right now...amd serves as alternative to the more manipulative efforts of radicals and liberals that seek, fruitlessly, to muscle their way to minimal equity...rather than commit ourselves, freely, to full equity...

It is Martin's legacy that has, largely...led to richer nations forgiving debt...that inspires the bulk of folks who attended Live 8...and the support of efforts like the funding of international aid efforts to deal with AIDS, and tuberculosis, and malaria, right now...and support for more equitable school funding...

Though I should make clear that these efforts really will have to transfer...slowly...progressively...to voluntary and decentralized and market-driven approaches -- indendently run public and charter and private schools, in the case of education...and private, non-profit efforts, in the case of international aid -- to funding such issues and resolving matters of wealth equity...they may provide an important stop-gap, right now...but such measures also produce resentment, as long as peoples' consciences are not pricked...as consciences are pricked, that kind of resentment becomes less of a problem...but the potential of voluntary and decentralized fund-raising is still foregone....government funding simply does not have nearly the fund-raising potential that voluntary efforts by decentralized and diverse institutions have within a healthy market...decentralizing international aid and schools and health care efforts...and leaving their funding up to the American people and peoples of the world to either step up to take care of...or to be responsible for the consequences when they don't...private fundraising not only has far, far more potential ability to raise more money for such efforts, and to begin to deal with wealth equity issues inherent in them...but freeing up the economy will mean creating more money to spend on such efforts...

The scared, bullying liberal approach of regulating and taxing the economy is a long-failed approach...that has been giving way, for a quite a long time, now, to a liberal and conservative and independent and non-partisan commitment to a freer economy and the economic benefits that provides...as well as the benefit of having decentralized institutions that are each individually responsible for the results they achieve...

And, similarly...equity efforts in that economy will best be achieved by free people making free commitments...

To follow Martin Luther King's lead...

To allow their consciences to be pricked...

And to start doing the right thing...

And they will:):):)...

You know why I'm so confident of that?...

Because no matter how many very terrible mistakes humanity has made over the course of its history...

It always finds a way to clean them up...

And this generation will be no different...

Right now...it is just a matter of finding our way...

And find our way we shall...

Merry Christmas, everyone...it's now, officially, December 24th, here where I am:):):)...

I have so much more to write on this issue...about non-profit and for-profit markets in education and health care and other areas of critical importance to wealth equity...about the psychological benefits of such an approach to poor and rich people, alike...about becoming whole and decent human beings...about communities and societies that take responsibility for ourselves and each other...freely...without coercion...

About the path to our being better people...a path of freedom...of free will...as every major religion I'm familiar with tells us is needed for people to choose moral and good lives...

As Jesus believed and lived a life of that commitment...

Can you think of one person that Jesus tried to take down to make the world a better place?...

I can't...not one...

What a great man he was...and Happy Birthday to him...

Merry Christmas, Bedford Falls...Merry Christmas, you old Building and Loan...

Merry Christmas, George...

Merry Christmas, everyone...and Happy New Year...

And to all my Jewish friends...Happy Hanukah, here in a couple days...I'll be lighting candles, at some point, this year...mabye with my very Catholic family, this year...just to spice things up, a bit:):)...

And Happy Kwanzaa...I don't think I'll be making my peachy bread pudding, this year, for Kwanzaa...as I have for past Kwanzaa's:):):)...but maybe I'll find some time to reflect on the reason for that season, this year, as well:):):)...and maybe we can do some Kwanzaa celebrations with my very redneck family, this year:):):)...

And Happy New Year...I have no plans for New Year, this year...I'll have to talk with Melissa and see if she's going to be back in town for New Years (she's in Milwaukee with her family, right now:):):)...Merry Christmas, Melissa:):):)...and Judy and Melissa's dad and Melissa's brother:):):)...

And Merry Christmas to all of you:):):)...and your families:):):)...and families all over the world...

This year...when my mom's family sings Let There Be Peace on Earth...it will be a very special time to sing that song, I think...as I hope we all hope for peace...as we navigate a world that is far too often too nasty and violent and destructive and hyperaggressive and hurtful...

Have a nice holiday, everyone:):):)...

Love,
Ben

Friday, December 23, 2005

...whether you've been naughty or nice, really...

...Santa brought four new posts over at my other blog, today...

Building a Better World...A New Hope...

Merry Christmas and Bah Humbug:):)...

Love,
Ben

Thursday, December 22, 2005

U2...

I wrote all this shit, this morning...and then lost it all...doesn't that piss you off when that happens?:):):)...

You know what's ironic about U2 selling out?...as John Waters says in this nice little article he writes about their newest album, How to Dismantle an Atomic Bomb, in The Age magazine...

U2: pop gone sour...

"...a band that for nearly two decades has been at the top and is desperate not to slip..."

You know what's ironic about that stupid move by an otherwise amazing band?

U2 never was on top...

They topped out at 66 on the all-time album sales chart, with Joshua Tree at around 10 million albums sold...Achtung Baby sold around 8 million...

Recording Industry Association of America's All-Time Top-Selling Albums (as of 5/16/05)...at Infoplease.com...

The Finger...All-Time Album Sales (as of 1/07/05)...

Though Wikipedia lists Joshua Tree at 26 million and sales of Achtung Baby at 18 million...

U2...at Wikipedia...bottom of the page...

...and I have no way of objectively calling which numbers are correct...

U2 never was one of the all-time popular bands...

And I used to really respect the fact that they didn't give a shit...

They just kept making music that mattered...whether people bought it or not...

Songs like Sunday Bloody Sunday...and New Years Day...and I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For...and Where the Streets Have No Name...and Silver and Gold...and Bullet the Blue Sky...and God Part II...and Pride (In the Name of Love)...and Love Rescue Me...and Angel of Harlem...and When Love Comes to Town...and Desire...and With or Without You...and 40...and Gloria...and Van Diemen's Land...I Will Follow...

Because...if people don't like a song like Sunday Bloody Sunday...about ending the violence in Northern Ireland...violence that bands like U2 and the Cranberries helped end...along with politicians like John Hume and David Trimble...

Who gives a shit what they think?...

They clearly have some fucked up priorities...

So if all folks care about it having a song that they can dance to...and not one that makes them think...and care about things other than themselves...

Why would you give a shit what they think about your music?...

They're clearly morons...who cares what they think?...

A question that John Waters poses to U2 in this nice little review of another mediocre album from this otherwise great band...

The truth is I'd still rather hear songs like Mysterious Ways and One, as clearly mediocre as they are compared to songs like Sunday Bloody Sunday and I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For...than not hear from U2 at all...as John's sub-title alludes to...

But what I'd much rather...

Is that U2 stop carring so much...about what all the morons in the world think about their music...and whether or not they buy it...

And start making good music again...

I had so much more to share this morning...

I think this is turning out to be my best Christmas ever...and it's definitely not because of money...which I have very little of this Christmas...

But now I've lost it...and I'll have to write about it again some other time...

You know what I miss most about hanging out with Brandi?...

Her courage...

I haven't seen that in someone I've been close to, other than myself, in a long time...it's sad...

If Bono were to die, today...

I'd remember Rattle and Hum, 1988...because that was his best moment...fuck Time Magazine...

Because it was the moment in his life when he had the most courage...

I appreciate what he's done for efforts to alleviate AIDS and TB and malaria in developing countries all over the world...

But I'd rather have his courage...

Bono isn't trying to grow up, as John suggests in this album...

Bono got scared...to ask U2 to do something as courageous as their latter, better albums...

As John suggests of the Beattles...when the Beattles were holding John Lennon back in a similar way...after the White Album...John did the sensible thing...

He left...

And if U2 can't create the space for Bono to sing as meaningfully in his songs as he does in his political work...

Bono should probably leave too...

And start making music that means something again...

It will be sad not to hear from The Edge and Larry Mullins and Adam Clayton, again...though I'm sure we'll hear some new incarnation of these guys' very decent musical abilities...

But goddamn if I don't want to hear Bono wail about some injustice again as powerfully back as he did back in the day...

And if U2 has to disband for that to happen...

Then so-fuckin'-be-it...

And if Adam Clayton and Larry Mullins and The Edge and Bono don't want that to happen...and if they want to be something more than a has-been band...

Then they need to start making some music that's worth listening to, again...

My friends...my parents...a lot of folks...are selling out, right now...

It's so sad to watch people sell their soul for so little...

And the saddest thing...is to watch people sell to such low bidders...

Pathetic...

Sometimes I wish I had a greatest hits of my friends and family when they were at their best...to at least enjoy the memories of when they had a little courage to be themselves...and to do something worthwhile...

But like everyone else...

Either they'll have to learn the lesson on their own...

Or like Elvis...the all-time top-selling performer...die trying...

Right now...I'd just settle for a little company...someone with courage...who realizes that the alternative is just so goddamned lame...they just won't even consider it, anymore...not seriously, at least...

And when they don't want to be asking themselves that really sad question that all the folks who sell out have to be asking themselves...

"Who really gives a shit what I think, anymore?"...

By the way...if you haven't seen Capturing the Friedmans' yet...definitely recommend it...and you know what I love about this movie?...the director doesn't seem to give a shit about how much money it makes or doesn't make...and good for him...hopefully that will last...

Have a Merry Christmas, everyone...

Love,
Ben

Wednesday, December 21, 2005

What I want to be when I grow up...

I've decided that tomorrow...the last day of classes before the winter break...I'm going to give grades out...which are all pretty good, really...and then I'm going to skip the homework we haven't graded, yet...and only grade it if it will improve folks' grades...

And then we're going to talk and write about what we all want to be when we grow up...me included...

I decided that I'd much rather have the kids thinking about their own dreams over the Christmas break...than fractions...which are, really, only a small part of life...compared to that much bigger question...

You know when were my favorite times in school when I was a kid?...those unstructured times...when we just kind of hung out, together...in a classroom that was otherwise a lot of bustle and effort to get stuff done and still get some social interaction with peers in under the watchful eye of our teachers...

Three of my all-time favorite learning/school moments are:

1) Sophomore year, high school...we're reading To Kill A Mockingbird in Ms. Hudson's Honors' English class...and I stay home...sick...I drink several milk cartons full of water in hopes of peeing out whatever it was that I'm dealing with...and I spend the whole day in bed reading what turns out to be my favorite novel ever...I finished To Kill a Mockingbird, that day...and its not an understatement to say that it changed my life...

2) Junior year, high school...late one night...on a weekend, maybe...but maybe even on a school night...I can't remember...I stay up all night over the course of a week, I believe...I can't quite remember...reading Henry David Thoreau's Walden...and commit myself to transcendentalism...did I mention that I love Henry David Thoreau...

3) Senior year, college...I've finished forensics...and I've met this brand new really great friend to transition me into a more primarily academic-focussed life (though...truth be known...only known to me, now years later...I was far more academically focussed than most people my age, forensics or not)...she and I study together in the political science/liberal arts and sciences building at Wichita State University...both writing papers...I re-write a Latin American microenterprise paper I've had for awhile into some bullshit anthropology final paper (and get an A)...she's doing something much more legitimate...but it's just nice to have the company of someone who takes the learning seriously, too...

And some more...

4) Sixth grade...Mrs. Legg's class...after being previously informed in the year that to "assume" makes an "ass" out of "u" and "me," I'm already much-impressed with my very pretty and wise sixth grade teacher...then...one day...she takes the class out to the playground...to sit underneath a tree...and to either read a book or just initiate the most frank and respectful discussion of sex that I have had with a teacher up until that point...it was so sweet...so unexpected...and such a beautiful thing for a teacher to do...

5) Senior year, college...my 4th year of school...my last year of forensics competition...Bond Benton, my best friend at the time, and my parliamentary debate partner, and I, go up to Willamette University in Oregon, that year, to compete at the National Parliamentary Debating Association's National Tournament...we travel with Bond's mom and her best friend up the coast of Oregon, Northern California, and Washington, making a trek, for the sake of his mom's friend, to see all of the covered bridges along the Northwest coast...they are beautiful...I pick up a copy of a National Parks' book with writings from famous conservationists like John Muir, Henry David Thoreau, and Ralph Waldo Emerson...and I write poetry, while visiting the Redwoods in Northern California, about coming to terms with my father...who he is, versus who I fantasized him to be...Bond and I unexpectantly get knocked out in octafinals (Bond and I were very competitive that year)...we very disappointedly continue our trip along the coast...and take solace in the beauty of our surroundings...

6) Senior year, college...post-forensics (I had several seniors year...three, to be exact:):):)...I have several one-on-one meetings with my favorite professor, David Ericson...my modern political theory class...I wonder if Dr. Ericson knows how much he influenced me with that class and with those meetings...Dr. Ericson is my primary advisor on a very good senior thesis on the Smith-Hughes Act of 1917, the first federal legislation in America touching education below the college grade, that I never submitted to a committee...Dr. Ericson and I spend several weeks talking about the nature of politics in democratic countries that profoundly affect the way that I think about politics...and touch me...that this brilliant man would spend so much time talking with me and helping me develop my own intellect...

7) Brandi and I spend 3 months in Washington, D.C., learning about politics...about love...and about the world...all at once...it was a total coming of age for both of us...and I learned so much, I can hardly count all of it...we go see Cornell West and Eugene Rivers, on Brandi's prompting, speak about race and poverty...we see just about every artsy theater movie that comes out within our vicinity...two very gay-friendly young kids from Wichita, Kansas with not a ton of experience with gay culture spend time just kind of absorbing D.C.'s gay district, Dupont Circle...we go to a gay bar where the patrons sing musicals, only to find very few people singing...but plenty of gay men to chat with...Brandi is the first girl that I rent pornography with...we work together...we live together...we take the metro back and forth, each day, together...I learn more about people in three months than I ever have before in my life...with one of the most people-savvy persons that I have ever met in my life, other than me...and I learn what it means to be deeply in love...an experience that I have yet to duplicate still today...

I think that last one takes the cake, really...and all of the subsequent learning Brandi and I do together...

8) Senior year...grad school...it's getting clearer for me that I'm starting to develop original ideas...the idea of which, itself, is exciting enough...not quite realizing, yet, just how much potential impact these ideas might have...I'm still very much mourning losing Brandi, but I'm getting stronger...and her leaving has prompted a flurry of study of every relationship/psychology/people book I can get my hands on...I read Stephen Covey's 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, Abraham Maslow's Farther Reaches of Human Nature, and Amartya Sen's Development as Freedom in that year, as well as a million other books...none of which are on a class reading list...all of which profoundly transform my thinking about people and the world...

9) December 2002-December 2005...I leave grad school to work on my original work, independently...frustrated with a relationship with an advisor that has begun to feel like an imposition and an obstacle to my education...I work several average joe jobs...learn about poverty, first hand, involuntary...learn a lot about the world outside of school, which I have been in for the last 12 years of my life...and write more independent, more original, more personal, more profound work than I have ever written in my entire life...Brandi's ghost never totally leaves me...but her cutting off all communication makes it clear that she is renigging on her promise to remain friends, no matter our relationships...I'm getting used to Brandi making the switch from always considering my feelings, because we were best friends, to never considering my feelings, because we were once lovers...an arbitrary change that I have no real control over...and I begin to depend less and less on friends and more and more on myself for final calls about my life...subsequent friendships only reinforce that trend...

10) 2005...Hurricane Katrina...I finally understand Joe Nye's caution that we take security for granted until it is gone...and I finally understand Hobbes...security and freedom are no longer abstractions for me...and Hobbes becomes my new best friend...though I'm still wedded to Mill and Locke and freedom...for good reason...because they are what all that security is for...

There's more...debate and forensics tournaments with Conrad Jestmore in high school and with the Wichita State team in college...my junior year Honors' English class with Elizabeth Taggart, as a beautiful liberal counterweight to the libertarian influence of Mr. Jestmore...Billy Budd and my senior year with one of my favorite teachers of all time, Zenobia Washington, for A.P. English...

And a million others, really...

All my best times have been either in school...or around learning and education, really...structured or unstructured...

My favorites are clearly unstructured...but it's much clearer to me, now, how, just as my freedom is only assured with adequate security...so are my more freely-explored educational experiences only made possible or as strong by my more structured educational experiences...

People who say that they're educations didn't matter...or that school didn't matter...to their lives...to their success...to their experiences...

Are bullshitting themselves...pure and simple...

The world doesn't turn out as well as schools because so few people really aspire to make the world that good...

But the world gets better...because of schools...and because of our time spent there...I'm sure of that, now...

I know my life was made better...

And thank you to every teacher -- formal or informal -- who made that possible...

Love,
Ben

Why rules and deference to authority are bound to fail...

As I've been reflecting on my own use of authority, in the last couple of weeks...and the use of authority by folks who I trust with it more...teachers...

I think I've finally figured out why rule by authority is kind of withering away, even as it is in its last throws of demanding legitimacy...

Because authority is used -- as a rule, not as an exception -- arbitrarily...

Meaning...though the people who are charged with authority often try to use it in a way that is responsible...

As a rule...authority gets used arbitrarily...based on the moment to moment whims of those with authority...

And as more people with authority recognize that...the more, I hope and know, at some level, that they will make allowances for that fact...

But in the meantime...the recognition of this fact by those who authority is used over...which is all of us, at some level...the more people begin to ignore authority...as it becomes clear just how arbitrary its use is relative to the realities that authority is charged with governing...

Rules only work if they work...and its not their enforcement that ultimately decide if they work or not...it's the reality that we all live with...and the less they work...the more they'll be ignored...

Rules and authority are already ignored, to a great degree, by those they are imposed upon, as a rule...the real question, at this point, is whether those with authority will begin to relax their imposition...and as authority figures reflect on this, there really is only one conclusion they can come to, at some point...they have to relax their imposition...else be so out of sync with reality...to be not taken seriously at all...and people who aspire for positions of responsibility do not so aspire to not be relevant...they aspire, generally, to make a positive impact on life...and most of them know better than to believe that they can only do so with impositions of authority...in fact...so much so...that, as a rule...among those with authority...at least in the situations in which I've worked and in most democratic societies, I think...those who use authority most meticulously...are those who are least respected among their colleagues with authority...

Because it is becoming fairly clear to me...that the places where I am most effective as a teacher...are the places where I refer to my relationships with students as human beings...rather than as an authority figure...

Meaning...if I'm frustrated with how I'm being disrespected as a human being...appealing to that relationship is far more effective in dealing with the behavior than is asserting my authority...as a rule...

In situations where authority looms over me...it is so clear...it's use is often completely arbitrary to the realities I am dealing with...

And when kids appeal to me for similarly reasonable rationales...all I can say to them is...they'll have to get the issue resolved with the specific person that they dealt with at the time...I have to back up my colleauges...and in the meantime...I work with my colleagues to persuade them to relax their more arbitrary uses of authority...by demonstrating by example how doing so improves relationships with students...accomplishing more of our purposes...both in improving behavior...and in improving academic focus and accomplishment...and my class, generally, is a pretty good example of that principle...yesterday was an exception, largely because I, personally, was off my mark, feeling very ill and overwhelmed and out of energy...but as a general rule, my special education class -- where students are often, for good reason, sent for behavior problems, as well as academic problems -- is, generally, better behaved than many general education classes where students, generally, behave better of their own accord and without teachers having to remind them to do so, as much...

And I can tell that the places where I'm least effective...are the places where I have undermined that relationship with more arbitrary uses of authority that are really pretty typical for teachers...places where I'm tired of wrangling with students over their behavior...tired of reminding the same students to be more respectful of me and one another...and places where I act to get some resolution...places that are completeful forgiveable...but that prove to some students that all teachers are alike...and that they all just want to control you...which is ironic...because all teachers, on their better days, feel just the opposite...all teachers are striving to have students be responsible for their own behavior...so that teachers don't have to deal with it...and so that students can learn to be more responsible for their own behavior as they grow into young adults...

And I like most teachers and parents and adults and authority figures -- the good ones, at least -- try to reflect on this use of authority to use it less and less arbitrarily...and to still be effective in helping to raise young people...who are responsible for their own behavior and their own lives...

Only to prepare the more responsible of them...like me...for a world which is often arbitrary with its use of authority...no matter how responsible a person is...

A fact that I will just hope that authority figures in the adult world...are reflecting on, as well...

I trust that they are...

Because there is no major movement to relax rules in the adult world...

And yet...it is slowly, very slowly...happening...

Evidenced by the perceived need by the less reflective among us...to defend rules that have already been passed...

Melissa and I listened to a commercial on a Chiefs game being broadcast over the Dillons intercom system...for maintaining 21 as the drinking age...

And I'm thinking, "I don't recall any major push to remove 21 as a the drinking age"...so who are they defending the law against?...

And the reality is...that they are defending the law against all the people who are, quite reasonably, now and in the past, ignoring that law...opting, instead, to teach young people to drink moderately and responsibly with adults present...rather than undercover and less responsibly...outside of adult presence...

Quite illegal to be sure...but a very responsible decision that many parents have been making with their children for quite a long time, now...for good reason...it means more responsible drinking among young people...and parents who do it have come to terms with what parents who often live in a lot of denial around alcohol use and abuse often avoid...that the best recipe for alcohol abuse...is alcohol prohibition...and if you doubt that...go watch the children whose parents prohibit alcohol use...once their out on their own...it's generally not pretty...

The truth is...that luckily for all of us...responsible people don't stop being responsible just because the law says different...

In fact...responsible people often and regularly ignore the law to be responsible, when doing so is more responsible...

It was the foundation for the modern civil rights movement...it was the foundation for developing more freely-chosen sexual mores in the twentieth century, which, on-balance, has been a very good and responsible thing...and it is the foundation for good parenting...

And the most irresponsible fact of modern life...is that we have not squared this more responsible living...with the law...because the least responsible among us...have been busy trying to scare younger and older people, alike...into responsibility...that many of them -- I have some friends here in Lawrence I'm thinking of, right now -- don't practice themselves, so lost are they in their denial of this obvious reality...instead of having younger and older people alike...choose greater responsibility...which, today, as for most of the history of modern life, has involved not only not obeying laws, always...but often disobeying them...generally, quietly...and at times -- as with the civil rights movement -- openly...

But I'm not just advocating a more open reconciliation of this fact with the use of authority...

I'm predicting it...

I'm pretty clear, at this point, that this is the side of this question that will prevail...

Because no other conclusion would allow for as functional living by free and responsible adults...in a world of freedom and responsibility...

It is the presence and interaction with people we trust that promotes responsibility...not the more arbitrary uses of authority...

And the latter will always remain a serious dysfunction of contemporary life in free societies until and as we let it go...

And we will let it go...

Because there is no other way out of this one...

Not just as a fact of free societies...

But as a fact of life...

My greatest reassurance on this question...is that there is no other way around this one...no matter what obstacles those who resist this trend throw in its way...it is a fact of life that no political activism or wrangling will ever be able to remove...this is direction that people are taking and will take more in the coming decades...because it's the direction most conducive to their more responsible natures...and it is a fact of life that all political activism and wrangling will have to square themselves with...because there's no turning back on it...

A pretty safe prediction at this point, actually, if you ask me...

Free peoples want more freedom...as a fact of life...not just as a fact of politics...and they will and do want more, yet...

Have a great week, everyone...

Love,
Ben

Tuesday, December 20, 2005

A hard talk with myself...

I'm still dealing with this bitterness I just realized the other day that I still carry around...

This bitterness about choices involved with being a teacher...

Here goes...

Being a teacher is a real honor, for me...at some level...it means a lot to take the kind of responsibility is involved with imparting knowledge...and there is a sense of purpose in it and with those who do it that makes it a much better profession to be a part of than most professions, by my judgment...it's very much like being a soldier, or a police officer, or other kinds of less-well-paid public servants who do what they do because they want to do good and not for other reasons...

But when you do it...and you deal with as many different kinds of people as I do...you also think...

"Why don't people value school more?"...meaning...why don't the dumbasses whose lives are most in need of serious learning...why do they take it so much for granted?...and why do they so foolishly fail to see their own self-interest on this?...and why do so many of their children fall into the same mistake?...and how can it be made more plain for them just how foolish they're being?...

"Why, persistently, do the great works and the great music and the great ideas in the world always get so consistently rewarded less than those that provide more immediate gratification?"...the answer to this one is obvious, which is that most people are kind of dumbasses...and popular culture reflects their ignorance, much of the time...we all are, at some level...but some are clearly more dumbass than others...

And intellectual depth is just kind of rare, really...more rare than I ever imagined, I think...

I guess what scares me and concerns me about that is asking myself the same question that a lot of my less intellectually-oriented friends ask themselves...

Then why is it important?...

And I guess the answer to that...is just because you don't see the reality as thoroughly or as completely or with as much depth...

That doesn't make it go away...

Meaning...

Just because you don't understand the principles of physics that go into motion or the principles of chemistry that go into the various materials people use...

Doesn't mean that that understanding isn't important...

It just means that it's rarer to meet someone who understands those principles than it is to find someone who does...

And the same is true of people, I think...

When I think about it that way....it isn't something I have to be frustrated with people about as much (though most people are pretty arrogant about what they know and what they don't know about people and what makes them tick)...

It's just that most people don't really have much clue, really...

I'm really sick...I've got to get home, soon, and get some sleep...one more day before I have some time to really power up before the next semester...

Have a great week, everyone...

Love,
Ben

Monday, December 19, 2005

Do you ever wonder if people have consciences?...

I do...

I don't know why I'm so morose, today...

But this is on my mind...

I do wonder what friendship and family mean to some people, much of the time...if it means anything...

And in moments like this...

I wonder if anything means anything...

I don't really know who I trust anymore...

That isn't true...you get a sense of it...who you can trust more and who you trust less...

I just trust less, today, a lot of people I used to trust more...

And I can't make heads or tails of it, anymore...

Even whether it matters, anymore...

Or what matters anymore...

I guess this is it...

I sure hope not...

Because it's a pretty shitty way stopping point on the road to a greater humanity...

No...I just think I'll let all the bitterness go...

All my bitterness about peoples' indifference...about their callousness...about their pretending...

I think I'll just let it go...

Nothing I can do to make people be decent...

And my bitterness just holds me back...

I think there's some people who actually think that if they pretend long enough...their shittiness will be forgotten...

Pretty wishful thinking, don't you think?...

It amazes me how much bullshit people will swim in...and still they come out of the pool clean...

I just need to let go of this shit...it's no good for me...or for anyone...

I'm sick...I'm going to bed...

Love,
Ben

Kenny gets me thinking...

OK...

Kenny's comments on yesterday's post got me thinking...

He's right...

Bono is actually one of the least bullying of liberal activists...and his comments in the article actually make that clear...so while he's not ideal...and noone is, really...not me...nooone...my ideas just point us in a direction...they don't give us a final destination...

Bono's big strength...ironically, I think...

Is that he's rich...

Meaning...unlike me...Bono doesn't get fucked over regularly...so he doesn't carry any of the bitterness about that I clearly still do, though I've tried to let go of it...it's just hard when it persistently happens with little hope of it abetting...

Poverty is not just about how little you can afford...it imposes costs of its own...if you can't pay something on deadline...then you pay additional costs...even if your failure to pay is based on inability to pay or not...meaning, you're doubly fucked, even though the original issue is not something within your control...but most people could give two shits about whether you can pay something or not...they've got house payments and car payments to make...and they get fucked by the bank or mortgage company or whatever if they don't...so it's just one big fuck fest, while we all cover our own asses...

Bono understands this, I think...and realizes it's unjust...but he's rich...and he has the means to stay rich and get richer...meaning, he doesn't get fucked by the bullshit that passes for how financial matters are handled currently nearly as much...

Which is actually a strength in this discussion, I think...

Because rich people know they're fucking people over...

They just feel like they have no choice...because they love their stuff...and if they have to choose between their stuff and someone else...they'll generally choose their stuff...

And Bono embraces the self-centeredness that this kind of thinking embodies...

Which is a good thing, I think...

I do, too, actually...even as I consistently get fucked by it...

Because I know...as Bono knows...

That I love people despite their greed...

My parents can be pretty greedy sometimes...and they wear it on their sleeves in some pretty insensitive ways, sometimes...especially my dad...who forgets that I lived with him through all the lean times...

It's just little things he says...

"There's not much in the world that you can't buy with money"...

Apparently oblivious to the fact that teaching doesn't pay very well...and that this comment totally takes for granted every teacher and everything that every teacher ever did for him...which, since he's not a big fan of school, I don't know if he really gives a shit, much of the time...

Or it may just be that there is this legacy of resentment...

Between the world of schools and universities...of education...

And the world of business...

Because business people make more money, generally...though teachers often do better and more work, if you've worked with the right school or university, that is...

But what I love about Bono...

Is that he embraces the money...and the greed...and all the rest...

He doesn't try to pretend that he doesn't love being a rock star...and rich...and living a life of luxury...

He embraces it...

And I guess that is the upside to the totally fucked up music/entertainment culture I see right now...

Embodied by the success of such pop hits as "Golddigger," by Kanye West, "Beverly Hills," by Weezer, and "If I Were a Rich Girl," by Gwen Stefani...

That even though they have very little substance at all, to them...

That...they just kind of embrace the greed...

Instead of fighting it...

Which is what liberal activists so fruitlessly and foolishly often do...

And the reason, likely, why Bono is one of the least bullying activists on this issue...

Is because he's rich...and he totally identifies with the desire of rich people...to just enjoy their wealth...and not feel guilty about it, all the time...

Which is what I want too...

Largely...

Because I know that the less guilty rich people feel about their wealth...

The less defensive they feel about their greed...

The more they embrace it...

And the more they want to share what they have...the more generous they become...

And the more we all benefit...

It's definitely true...

The market has some fucked up priorities...I totally acknowledge...and I think most people would, if they were really honest with themselves and others...

Is Arnold Swartzinegger the best actor in Hollywood, since he brings in the biggest revenue?...

Obviously not...have you seen "Terminator"?...a decent movie...but Oscar-worthy it is not...except maybe around technical direction...

And Arnold is definitely not a dramatic actor of any significance...

And unless you are totally self-deluded...there is no way you could argue that his money is made by being good...

His money is made by chasing money...

So many of my friends piss me off for exactly the opposite reasons why I love Bono and my parents...

Because my parents and Bono, generally, are just honest about it...

They like money...they don't try to pretend that they make money because what they're doing is good...they do what they do to make money...

Bono stopped making really great music back in 1988...he doesn't pretend, I don't think, that his new stuff is as good as his old stuff (and if he does, then he's wrong...no matter what the rationalizations of his more sell-out fans)...

He's a rich dude who likes making money...

No problem with that with me...

Same with my parents...

They aren't noble for making money...

They're rich...

And that's what they wanted...

They traded off the one for the other...

And they got rich...

It's not the same thing as noble...but it's not evil, either...

And like every other deadly sin...

Greed should be embraced...and openly...

Just as I parents do every time I see them now (secretly to rub it in that they've got it and I don't, I always suspect)...

But I don't want to resent this...

What I resent, most, really...

Is people pretending...

Rich is not noble...

Rich is rich...

So if that's the path you take...

That's the path you get...

Bono and Bill and Melinda Gates are taking the more noble route from rich...which is to share the wealth...

And what is great about Bono...

Is that he's not ashamed of being a rich rock star...

Which he shouldn't be...

He's not Martin Luther King...

But he's not Osama Bin Laden either...

I do wish Bono would produce a decent album, again, someday...something more along the lines of Rattle and Hum...or the Joshua Tree...U2's last decent albums...

But I don't want to begrudge him his money...

No matter how much I keep getting fucked by the greedy among us...

Which is everyone, at some level...plenty of poor people...in the developed world, at least...are plenty greedy, too...

So no need to point fingers at the rich...

They feel plenty guilty as it is...

They need to feel less guilty...

So they finally get over it...and themselves...

And...in the case of Bono...

Start making good music, again...rather than the shitty, guilt-ridden bullshit he's been making since '88...

And same with all my other friends looking to ride the gravy train...

They need to get over it...

So they can start doing good work, again...

Instead of the total shit they've been settling for ever since they decided to sell-out...

I'll keep thinking on this...

Because the truth is...I wouldn't want any of my friends to give anyone one red cent...if they'd just stop bullshitting me and everyone else...about how much their efforts suck...ever since they started selling out...

Same with Bono...

Bono...your last like 6 albums have sucked big nasty horse testicles...

Go do a bigger and better Rattle and Hum...or go fade away as a has-been, already...because I'm tired of hearing your shitty albums because though you could find it in your heart to help all the starving Africans, you just couldn't find it in your heart to do a decent album in almost 2 decades...

This one is clearly not finished in my heart...

Have a great week, everyone...

Love,
Ben

Sunday, December 18, 2005

Bono and Bill and Melinda Gates Time Magazine People of the Year...

Bono and Bill and Melinda Gates Time Magazine's People of the Year...

Mixed feelings for me on these very dedicated folks being named...

Initially...Bill and Melinda Gates and Bono have been working for a very long time on the very important efforts to reduce and alleviate global poverty...it's effort worthy of recognition...
I think each of them recognizes that they will be remembered far more and better for their efforts to alleviate poverty than each of their efforts to accumulate their wealth...though U2's music efforts and Bill Gates' efforts to mass market the personal computer are very important efforts in and of themselves...and it's nice to see authentic leaders -- not propagandists and fear-mongers like Adolph Hitler, Joseph Stalin, Nikita Kruschev, and Ayatullah Kohmein -- be named Persons of the Year...

But some disappointing praise for less worthy aspects of these folks' efforts...

As Nancy Gibbs writes in her cover article...

"2005 is the year they turned the corner, when Bono charmed and bullied and morally blackmailed the leaders of the world's richest countries into forgiving $40 billion in debt owed by the poorest; now those countries can spend the money on health and schools rather than interest payments—and have no more excuses for not doing so."

I'm reading that line -- Bono charmed and bullied and morally blackmailed the leaders of the world's richest countries into forgiving $40 billion in debt owed by the poorest -- and thinking...

You mean bully like all the bullying everyone is -- rightly -- trying to end in schools, right?...

You mean bully like liberal leaders like Bono and Bill and Melinda Gates and others are -- rightly -- critical of President Bush for being in his international policy?...

You mean bully like what all of us -- presumably -- tell our children that we don't want them to be towards their brothers and sisters and friends and other kids and students?...

Nancy saves herself and Bono with a later description of his work...

"Bono grasps that politicians don't much like being yelled at by activists who tell them no matter what they do, it's not enough. Bono knows it's never enough, but he also knows how to say so in a way that doesn't leave his audience feeling helpless. He invites everyone into the game, in a way that makes them think they are missing something if they hold back. 'After so many years in Washington,' says retired Senator Jesse Helms of North Carolina, whom Bono recruited to his cause, 'I had met enough well-known people to quickly figure out who was genuine and who was there for show. I knew as soon as I met Bono that he was genuine. He has absolutely nothing to gain personally as a result of his work. In fact, he has opened himself to criticism because he has been willing to work with anyone to find help for these children who have taken his heart.'"

Liberals, like conservatives, hate to be bullied...

And most people, really, hate being bullied, themselves...but don't have a problem with bullying others to get their way...

In kid-parents language it's called, "Do as I say, not as I do"...

And in simpler language its called hypocrisy...or a rationalization...

And, specifically...it means rationalizing all the bullying that rich liberals, conservatives, independents and others engage in as a part of amassing all that wealth in the first place...

Bono's not a bad guy, at all...he's actually a really great guy, actually...

But bullying and morally blackmailing politicians is one of the less graceful/more shameful parts of his legacy...not ones to be given higher praise...liberals just forget this, I'm learning, when their causes are at stake...and fight it, when the causes of others are at stake...

And that's why I love them...and conservatives, too...because when one threatens to bully on any particular issue...the other group will often step up to defend...though there are some issues where everyone wants to bully to get their way...and everyone loses as a consequence...

Poverty and international equity issues should be resolved as a matter of genuine, freely adopted conviction...I don't care, personally, how much guilt Bono and Bill and Melinda Gates have to wipe from their consciences...I don't want conservatives or independents or apolitical folks to be bullied into to working on poverty issues...because it doesn't build a sustainable future for poverty efforts...you can't bully forever...eventually people get wise to what an asshole you're being...and eventually, you lose track of the very relationship that was necessary to deal constructively with the issue that you said, at least, that you cared about...

And most importantly...because when you start bullying...you forget and start to take for granted the generosity that was the basis for folks' commitment to such issues...and once you do that enough...they'll start blowing you off...and you'll deserve it...

Self-governing people need to be able to make their own decisions...to come to their own conclusions...to make independent judgments...and that, more than anything else, is what we need more of, here and abroad...and what will build more and more equitably distributed wealth, here and abroad...

But Bono's ability to reach beyond conventional political lines is what distinguishes his work, in particular...and why I admire his work in ways that are different from how I admire the very important work of his colleagues on poverty alleviation, Bill and Melinda Gates...

Bill and Melinda do a terrific job of both giving and maintaining accountability for money spent on equity efforts...and Bill, in pariticular, has a reputation for mastering the more minute details of, say, malaria, which, along with AIDS and tuberculosis, is one of the more serious killers of people, internationally...

But Bono's strength, in particular, is his ability to bring folks like Jesse Helms and Pat Robertson into the fold...something that I admire very much, actually...and is much more supportive of a more genuinely liberal idea of broad-mindedness, independent thinking, and inclusion...an idea that is compromised -- unnecessarily, unfairly, and with a wrong-headed sense of priorities -- when folks like Bono bully and morally blackmail those who disagree with him...or are often just unaware of the issue, in all its depth and complexity, as well as advocates for a cause...

But it is nice to see people who care about a cause...and have put their money and their efforts where their mouth is...and have avoided more simplistic answers to complex problems...get recognition for their work...

Congrats to Bono and Bill and Melinda...and good luck with the work...

Love,
Ben

Thursday, December 15, 2005

Limits to ideas...

I'm just coming to terms, tonight...as I watch a teacher for the umpteenth time fruitlessly try to force a kid -- and a kid who is persistantly defiant, at that -- to do her bidding...

And as I run interference...trying to move kids in the direction of following teacher instructions...

I'm coming to terms with the fact that there are limits to even the best ideas...

So then...I'm wondering...what comes next?...

As least possible necessary aggression gets more fully explored...

What comes next?...

What big ideas get developed to improve on least possible necessary aggression...and other similar ideas, as well...

First of all...the experience I've had at Eisenhower definitely confirms what past experiences at Amarr and Downings already confirmed for me...

Which is that these ideas don't just have theoretical strength...

They work...in real life...and I have not a shred of doubt of that, at this point...

Experimental tests that allow for falsifiability...perhaps with drug and gun laws and the death penalty would still be useful...

But these ideas definitely have real world validity, independent of more abstract arguments for their them...

Now the issue I'm wrestling with...intellectually...is...

What comes next?...

What ideas can build on least possible necessary aggression to improve the underlying principles?...

I'll have to spend some time on that one...

In the meantime...as I watch the really important education policy debate around school choice, right now...

It's becoming clear to me that old fears and prejudices and bad ideas take a long time to die out...

School choice is a great idea, is the truth...for public schools as much as for charter schools, private religious schools, and private college preparatory schools...

And I don't care how it pans out...I don't care if there are public or private vouchers, public or private charters, religious or non-religious vouchers...whatever...

The fundamental idea that is good is that people who have freedom to choose their destinies...are more responsible for their destinies...and that is more important than any other principle at issue...

It's probably the most important lesson I teach and model for my kids...

And it is the lesson that each and all of us should be teaching and modeling for our children...

The truth is that most adults struggle with this, as much as most children...

But the only way to create a more responsible society...

Is to free it up, more...

Which we will do over time, I'm sure...despite the abyssmal situation, on this mark, in the country, right now, relative to a more genuinely free country...and a more relatively free world...

As I listen to the school choice debate in Kansas...which seems weighted against school choice, at this point...

I hear a lot of scared, less responsible, excuse-making adults...trying to rationalize both the failures in public schools...but also rationalize their own failures...

...politically...personally...professionally...and otherwise...

And I just don't have the patience for it any more...

When you suck...

Just admit it...

Don't spend a lot of time trying to make excuses for why you suck...

You know why?...

Because everyone knows that you suck...and you'll never argue you're way out of that one...

And in the meantime...

The only way you will get better...

Is by admitting it...

Not by making excuses for it...

And no matter what you try to do to avoid dealing with the fact that you suck...and your mistakes...

People will find out, I've learned from experience as much as anything else...

But the more you admit it...to yourself and to others...

The better opportunities you have for getting better...at whatever it is that you want/need to get better at...

And when I think about how long it took me to learn not only that lesson...

But all the lessons that came before and during and after...

It amazes me just how quickly people learn, at all...

Though the truth is...the only time when I feel some urgency that they learn the lesson...

Is when they're pushing me or someone I care about around...

Which is most people most of the time...

And generally getting better:):)...

Up until Eisenhower...it's been kind of lonely being so ahead of the curve on this one...

But finally I have friends and colleagues who are interested in my lead...

And not in always trying to drag me down...so they don't have to face their flaws...

Teachers...generally...are more honest people, than others...more honest with themselves and with each other...

And it makes for a much more decent place to work, I have to say:):)...

I've got a band performance to go to...

Hope everyone has a great weekend:):)...

Love,
Ben

Wednesday, December 14, 2005

When someone gave a shit...

You know why so many folks talk about college or school as the last time they felt more idealism or better about themselves and their lives?...

Because it is, too often...and so sadly...the last time that someone they worked with really gave a shit about them, I'm convinced...after working so many other jobs outside of schools, I think this is the reason why so many people have such fond memories of school, so often (though I do have friends who don't seem to have any time that they liked life, sadly)...

A barber I had expressed this sentiment about high school as much as so many of my friends express it about college...

And I think it's because, for so many folks...sadly...it is the last time they felt like people around them really gave a shit about them...

It's so sad that we create such a shitty world for adults...trying, vainly, to make it up by treating their children better, hopefully...

But I am damned lucky to work in that kind of place...

Where the kids and the teachers are people who people give a shit about, often enough...

My principal did something really nice for me, today, that I promised I wouldn't reveal...but I was just so touched that I finally had a boss who actually gave a shit about me as a human being...and not just as a employee...

It's been a long time since I've had that feeling...

Since I was a student, actually...

It's nice to be home, again...

Brandi bought this album for me...They Might Be Giants' "No!"...the first, that I know of, of TMBG's really terrific kids' albums:):):)...check it out when you get a chance...also...possibly their better kids' album...Here Come the ABC's...

And, of course...the ever-fun kids' musical...You're a Good Man, Charlie Brown...

Sweet dreams, everyone...

Love,
Ben

Being appreciative when frustrations run high...

Had an infuriating situation at school, today...

The special education teachers and paraprofessionals are concerned about the number of F's in some general education teachers' classes...

General education teachers feel like they can't pass people who don't meet their expectations for passing...

I'm going to side-step the political/legal maneuvering that seems to come up frequently in these situations...

And focus for a moment on the stuff that matters...

In all my discussions with teachers, I keep emphasizing that we all need to get on the same page...

Grades matter only insofar as they are meaningful indicators of how successful or not students are in their abilities to achieve academically...and...for a student to treat it meaningfully...no matter how much a shit that student is (which students can often be little shits)...they need to have some indication that teachers are committed to their success...and insofar as they are not...there is no reason for a student to take seriously the grade of someone who may or may not be clearly committed to their success...

I'm saying this to a teacher, this afternoon, infuriated with how much teachers keep avoiding the hard conversations with one another...and more infuriated with the million excuses that teachers of all stripes keep giving me...special education teachers wanting to call failure something prettier than failure...and general education teachers just failing to understand that without a clear commitment to a student's success -- and not just a persistent observation of their failure -- there is no reason for a student to take your grades or your classes seriously...

Meaning...no excuses...for students...or for teachers...

And today...I was completely at the end of my rope...listening to special education teachers making excuses for why kids are failing...and with general education teachers for making excuses for why they are not more clearly committed to all students' success...

As I told one teacher, today...I don't speak out of idealism, any more...I speak from results...my 1st and 2nd hour special education math class is one of the most well-behaved and on-task classes I work with...and it's not nairy-fairy idealism that got us there...it was a lot of hard work...and a persistent attitude that we were going to get there no matter what excuses I heard to the contrary...

And I just have so little patience listening to teachers' excuses for why they are not fully committed to student success...and stepping up, when the easy way would be to place the burden elsewhere...

And then...after time to reflect on it...I remember...

The teachers I'm working with are, generally, far more committed to these students' success than often the students are themselves...and though I am definitely fed up with the log-jam between special education teachers and general education teachers in my building, on this one (which will get resolved, I'm confident...I'm on it)...teachers don't do this work because they want kids to fail...

And I need to focus, right now, on recognizing and appreciating -- out loud, whenever possible -- on all the things that they are doing well to support students...and keep them focussed on doing those things and other ideas more and better...

My biggest mistake with grad school, I think...was that when I was watching my teacher lame out...that I just kind of lamed out with him...instead of focussing him on everything he was doing well to support me as a student...and to work, better, on supporting me and all his other students better, as well...

And I just wanted to see if I could do what I ended up doing...which is get some space and time to work on my own independent work...that many of the bureaucratic hurdles that my advisor kept his very low-minded focus on...kept getting in the way of my efforts to do...

But...as I look to finish my endorsement...and my Masters' degrees and Ph.D. if can and if I have to...though there is a part of me that thinks...if you can't see how powerful my ideas are, at this point...then perhaps I need to get into another line of business...

I think...what would it be like...to deal with a similar situation...with everything I know now...

To take responsibility for seriously improving the performance of a graduate school program...in the same way that I am taking on the responsibility of seriously improving the performance of a public middle school from within...as a lowly special education teacher...

A big responsibility to assume as a student, I know...but...my attitude, now, is...no excuses...when the going gets tough...the tough get the fuckin' work done...

And I just don't have time for excuses around that, anymore...when I don't know how to do something...I get my little ass on figuring it the fuck out so that the problem gets resolved...rather than waiting for someone else to deal with it...

I tried in grad school...as best as I could...and then some...I had just made too many mistakes, up till that point, I think, with an advisor who definitely seemed to hold a grudge...and that same teacher could just never straight that being a teacher means that you take responsibility for problems...not persistently lame out and blame them on your students...or on the rain, as the case may be...

But now...as then...I am the teacher...and I don't lame out...when something has to get done...I get it done...and keep getting it done...until it's taken care of...period...no excuses...end of story...

And that is how I've taken this special education math class...a situation with a lot of students who are there because of serious behavior problems...

And turned it into one of the most well-behaved and on-task, actively learning classes that I see during my school day...and one of the better classes I've ever worked with, period...high praise for a special ed class...

And I just don't have any tolerance for excuses on my part or anyone's part, any more...

If I want to break through this impasse between these teachers...

It will not only involve getting everyone on the same page...and talking about the problems openly and honestly...

It will involve reminding myself and other teachers of just how impressive and important their commitment to the school and life success of their students really is...

I have one teacher, in particular, who needs to hear how great her efforts are, tomorrow:)...and hopefully...help her see better...the efforts and improvements of her students as well:):)...

Have a great day, everyone:):)...

Love,
Ben

P.S. I got to get over this sore throat:):)...I've got more than a week till Christmas break...

Monday, December 12, 2005

A beer and some mutual idealism...

Today was one of those days...kids and teachers, both, tested my patience, today, more than I've ever had it tested at Eisenhower, yet...

My first two hours went brilliantly...I don't think those kids have ever been as on task and respectful as today...third and fourth hour with Ms. Budt went smoothly...

And then it was all downhill after that...

Teachers convinced that they're going to win futile battles to "make" kids behave...losing all the way...and not enough presence of mind, I suppose, to notice that something's not right...

And a couple of kids who are in an after school learning situation until their behavior can get under control...were the worst behaved I've seen Eisenhower students be in the entire time I've been here...

This is the time for a beer and some idealism...

When Brandi and I were in D.C...we'd be exhausted after long days at B'nai Brith or wherever we might be working, at that time...

And we'd go out for lunch in the park in downtown D.C...which is beautiful, if you get the chance:):)...

And go out for happy hours after work...Brandi could never skip a bargain:):):)...and happy hours combined two of her favorite loves:):):):)...alcohol...and bargain-shopping:):):)...

And lots of talking:):):)...purposeful, fun, high-minded talk...over beer and appetizers...the pay we made was not great, of course...

But the spirit of mutual idealism more than made up for its weight in salary...

I need a beer...and someone to pump me up after a long day at school...

I'm gonna go see what I can do:)...

Love,
Ben

Sunday, December 11, 2005

The 64 Billion Dollar Question...

Are you just completely fuckin' naive, you fuckin' lovey-dovey, peacenik, aw-ain't he swo nwice, dumbass motherfucker?...

To answer that question, I'll relate a conversation I had with a Lawrence police officer, today, as I was reporting checks I had that were stolen and forged on my account...for an amount that is far greater than what I had in my account...so I had to make a police report to take care of the checks written to a creditor...

The officer I dealt with was a really great guy...Myron Grady was his name...he's this guy who's had a tough background...who shared it with me...and, who, like me, understands the need to have an attitude of no excuses responsibility to get people on the better track...

Myron thinks the folks who fucked me should "have their asses kicked" as he said...and I can't say that I disagree:):)...but it was nice talking with a police officer who has a very similar attitude to mine, in terms of actually making a difference in this kind of situation...Myron clearly cares...and that matters...and it was nice to talk with an officer who actually cares...

Folks who were involved with this thing -- we have no clue if they actually did it...but, after I had let them borrow my car, they had accessed my house and claim that others who they let into the house had taken the checks, as a part of larger check-writing scheme...others that I've met and know to be much shadier characters -- but the folks involved are people I care about...

They aren't the nicest folks in the world, that's for sure...

They're your typical crack addicts, in a lot of ways...though, to be fair...they are making genuine efforts to kick the crack...they're nice enough, some of the time, at least...they live like children...one of them has two jobs and a daughter...the other has a son and no job and occassionally shows an inclination to get a job...they live for now...and their friends live for now...for the next high...for the next lay...for whatever is happening right now...

They are also human beings...and, at some level, friends...who I care about...who also seem to be making painfully slow progress doing something more productive with their lives...it's so slow that I can hardly stand it most of the time...but they make it...slowly...

And part of my commitment as a human being...nevertheless as a teacher...and a policy scholar...and someone who, generally, wants to make a difference in this world, is that I stick by people...even the less savory folks in the world...without, as much as possible, now that I'm older and more savvy about these things, being drug down into their messes...

I am a strong son-of-a-bitch...I have, frankly, never met anyone stronger than me, emotionally...and so I can be patient with situations like this...

But...my experience with these folks, in particular, has taught me that being in and out of jail for much of their lives has not helped these folks very much...and I know I've made a difference, as small and slow as that difference seems to have been...and as much as it feels like a pretty overwhelming burden, sometimes, doing the hard work and having cynical sons-a-bitches carping at me without better solutions...

I'm not a martyr...when they fucked me, they lost privileges to my house and my car...they have to earn the trust back...and they are working on it...

I am not naive about them or others, generally, I don't think...I don't know everything you're doing...but I know, better, who is engaged in fucked up shit and who is not...

And I'm explaining to this officer...who has totally been where I'm at, right now...who has family that he cares about that he wants to make better choices...

That I just can't give up..no matter how many people do...no matter how much shit people give me...no matter what...I can't...I won't...

I am stronger than most people...and my love is more genuinely unconditional than most people...

That doesn't mean that I won't intervene...or say anything...or do anything...it just means that I will find the least aggressive means possible to encourage/move/inspire/whatever the fuck/and if I have no other option to fuckin' force your lame fuckin' ass in the better direction...

Like Officer Grady...I have come to terms with the fact that I can't force folks to stop fuckin' up...Myron worked as a parol officer for a while...and left for a reason I completely understand...because he got tired of caring about people more than they care about themselves...goddamn did I understand that one...

But it's clear that Myron still cares quite a bit, really...and so do I...and that's why I don't give up on people...no matter what...period...

Because I have become completely clear...that giving up on people...has everything to do with why the most fucked up shit in the world happens...and goddamn if I am tired of that same fuckin' stupid cycle...and I am ready for it to end...

I will give our relationship a break...I'll make my car or house or whatever off-limits, when I need to...

But I won't give up...ever...ever...ever...ever...
ever...ever...ever...ever...ever...ever...ever...

When does Mr. Sutherland give up on you, my kids might ask someday?...

Never...period...

And that is the only right answer to that question...unless you're overtly and inescapably threatening my life or the lives of others...in which case, your life will be in danger from me...but I will do everything I can to avoid the latter...

And the truth is that I've been fucked over more times by friends -- better friends and not-as-great-of-friends -- more times than I could ever count in my life...and I have fucked up plenty, too, in my life...

And my friends are all goddamn lucky (and I am, too) that I haven't/don't/won't give up on any of them...any of them...period...ever...ever...ever...

No matter how much the ungrateful shitheads they are, often, take advantage of me...

Who is the big man in these parts?...me...and why...because I am the one motherfucker that you know will never give up on you...ever...

No matter how much you fuck me or others...though there are always consequences to our actions...natural ones...that we can all learn to deal with in the meantime...

And as Officer Grady says...when you've chosen that, freely...and you know there's no turning back...as I have...and as Officer Grady clearly has...each of us has to prove ourselves every day...but some people you can just tell are more genuine in that commitment than others...Myron is one of those people...Phoenix, my friend in the army, is another one of those friends...you can just tell who the stronger people are and who the weaker people are...and these are two of the stronger people...as well as a million friends I have...Myron and Phoenix are two of my law enforcement/military friends who are of this stronger ilk...

The fact is...that for all the shit I get for just how clear I am about what unconditional love means to me and those I care about -- which is everyone, at some level -- in my life...

I am stronger than most people...by far...including and especially the stupid, dumbass macho motherfuckers I've always got trying to prove just how tough they are at my expense...and if you need me to prove that physically...I can do that too...

It was nice talking with Myron, today...to commune about what it meant to be a man...a real man...someone who wears their hearts on their sleeves...who'll kick your ass if you need it...but who only do that if they absolutely have to...because they know, better, what will help and what won't...

I don't know if my professors have figured it out yet...or if most folks over 40 have figured it out, yet...but this generation...just like theirs...just like every generation before this generation...and just like every generation after it...meaning the kids I teach...

We will be defining what it means to be a man...to be a grown-up...to be a decent human being...better than the generation, previously...

And that became so clear to me talking with Myron...

I've been reading Hobbes, again, today...he's brilliant...I'm totally caught up in my passion about his brilliance, his courage, as I'm reading him and C.B. MacPherson's introduction to the copy of Leviathan that Melissa owns aloud to Melissa...

He invents political science...civil philosophy, as he calls it...

And he totally fuckin' reinvents the entire fuckin' human race, as a consequence...

I'm telling Melissa...that I totally don't get Hobbes when I was in undergrad reading Leviathan in Dr. Ericson's Modern Political Theory class...

I was a big John Stuart Mill and John Locke and Jacques Rousseau fan, more than any of the other authors we read...

It's both ironic and appropriate that I would find him during a cynical push on the left for power in America...

For non-policy folks...

Hobbes is the theorist of security, essentially...life, according to Hobbes, is "nasty, brutish, and short"...and government's responsibility to is keep people secure from the vagaries of life...

I didn't get him in college because, like most college students, I was looking for greater and greater freedom...and kind of took my security...the work done by law enforcement and military folks...for granted...

I don't take that security for granted any more...I take it seriously...and know that it is irrevocably tied up with mine and everyone else's ever expanding freedoms...

And now I get Hobbes...

And just how important is was for this Englishman to write a tract that would define the idea of political science...as a secular study and as a study of one of the most important bodies in modern life and the life of our civilization...government...that was independent of religion...as Protestants and Catholics in his own country ravaged the nation with civil war...over the ultimately destructive and futile question of which ruling power should retain that power...manipulating the country with the question of whether Protestantism or Catholicism was the best religion to lead their country...

And as my own country is wracked by a political war by various ruling parties manipulating the country about who...liberals or conservatives...Democrats or Republicans...should lead the country...which is the right ruling party...in a country predicated on the notion of self-governance, rather than a ruling elite...

I wonder, too, what will convince my fellow countrymen and fellow citizens of the world...that self-governance is created by each of them...as citizens, primarily...and by government, only secondarily...a thesis I'm not convinced that Hobbes would agree with...but which is very much in line with his same concerns in the 16th Century...

Sitting and talking with Myron today...I was never more honored to be doing the work that I do...to be answering the questions that I am answering...to be building the kind of world that I would like to see built...

Thanks to Myron...for being such a decent cop...and reminding me of just how important that job is to all of our security...

And thanks to Thomas Hobbes...for changing the world...and to him and Myron for helping to assure my security...as I aspire to do the same...

Love,
Ben